Big News: Apparently Some Footballers Have Pets!

Some human beings have pets. Some human beings work as professional footballers. Therefore, it is likely that some professional footballers have pets.

Don’t bother trying to figure out the logic of this for yourself though, because the geniuses at the Daily Mail have done all the hard work for you. And although this article isn’t actually labelled as an EXCLUSIVE, I can assure you that it is. Because nobody else gives a shit.

If you click the above link, which I strongly advise you don’t, you can amaze yourself with the in depth sporting revelations which will change the way you think about football forever. When I woke up this morning, slightly hung over, I had absolutely no idea that Chris Smalling and Alexis Sanchez both had a dog. Now I know, I realise that I have wasted my life up to now.

But there’s more. Apparently they sometimes take their dogs for walks, and the dogs are often sad when their owners go out and leave them behind. But don’t despair, because they’re happy when they come home.

Where were you the day sports journalism, which has been very very ill for a long time, finally died?

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