Big News: New Employee Wants To Do Well At Job

mourinho-shock

The Sun are well known for bringing us the most in depth, well thought through news and analysis of the day’s big stories. However they have outdone themselves with today’s back page offering. Read it if you must.

We’re not sure whether this is an “exclusive or not” but apparently a man who has just been given a very lucrative new job has stated that he would quite like to succeed at it.

In a speech so controversial it must have shaken the very foundations of football, Jose Mourinho stated that he would like to win trophies at his new club.

This of course is not just a case of wanting to justify his £10m a year salary. Nope, it’s all about getting “revenge” over his former employers. Because if Man Utd are winning trophies (or “titles” as they now seem to be called) it means Chelsea can’t, you see. Revenge!!!!!

Not content with reporting this “news”, The Sun also includes actual quotes. Not from Mourinho or anyone connected with Man Utd of course. Nope, these quotes come from “a close friend” who obviously cannot be named for fear that Jose might unfriend him on Facebook if his identity was leaked.

And speaking of retarded social media users, the story continues to tell us how various intellectuals on Twitter responded to the news of Mourinho’s appointment. Because this is obviously much more important than the story itself these days.

God bless modern journalism, which now has the power to neither inform nor entertain.

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