Big News: Apparently Some Footballers Have Pets!

Some human beings have pets. Some human beings work as professional footballers. Therefore, it is likely that some professional footballers have pets. Don’t bother trying to figure out the logic of this for yourself though, because the geniuses at the Daily Mail have done all the hard work for you. And although this article isn’t actually labelled as an EXCLUSIVE, I can assure you that it is. Because nobody else gives a shit. If you click the above link, which I strongly advise you don’t, you can amaze yourself with…

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Big News: New Employee Wants To Do Well At Job

The Sun are well known for bringing us the most in depth, well thought through news and analysis of the day’s big stories. However they have outdone themselves with today’s back page offering. Read it if you must. We’re not sure whether this is an “exclusive or not” but apparently a man who has just been given a very lucrative new job has stated that he would quite like to succeed at it. In a speech so controversial it must have shaken the very foundations of football, Jose Mourinho stated…

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