Oh dear Alan. Celebrating before the final whistle is never a good move under any circumstances. It has a bit of a habit of coming back to bite you in the backside. But celebrating with a strange dad dance at a wedding is particularly ill advised. At a wedding you might get away with it if the official photographer is pointing elsewhere. In front of a capacity crowd at Wembley and a worldwide TV audience, there is nowhere to hide.
Generally we like Alan Pardew here, what with him being one of the only decent English managers and all. But there really was no excuse for this. Sorry Alan, you don’t have the natural rhythm of Daniel Sturridge, or even the ungainly majesty of Peter Crouch. This was just rubbish, and it will be remembered long after the game itself is forgotten.