What would happen if the FA pulled out of FIFA? The end of FIFA? A following of suits by the other top nations in world football? Luckily, we don’t have to wonder. Ryan Keaney has built a time machine, travelled into the future and copied+pasted a future twofootedtackle article so you can know now.
Former England captain and 2015 Gold Cup winning captain with the United States of America David Beckham has been heralded as “Chelsea’s greatest ever manager” by club owner Roman Abramovich. The FIFA President was speaking after Beckham masterminded Chelsea’s victory in the FIFA World Super Trophy final over Eric Cantona’s New York Cosmos last night.
Beckham, a winner of the inaugural FIFA World Super League regular season with the Cosmos, started the season as the coach of the US Men’s National Team and was only installed as Chelsea manager following their victorious Olympics campaign in Tokyo.
Having taken the reigns of a side sitting 17th of 18 in the World Super League, Beckham announced during his opening press conference that he felt the playoffs were not beyond his new side. A run of ten bonus-point wins in their final eleven regular season games proved him right as Chelsea snuck into the eighth and final spot.
The momentum built up by their end-of-season run helped Chelsea through the knock-out stages; before a tight 2-1 win confirmed them as the first non-nationality winners of the FIFA World Super Trophy. Speaking after the victory, the 15-time capped American was quick to pay homage to the footballing lessons he had learned growing up in the United Kingdom.
“It’s incredible really. I suspected we could get a playoff place when I joined and I said that. This is a talented team, still maturing and I learned a lot from watching Sir Alex [Ferguson] that I’ve put into practice in my coaching career so far. Sometimes all that the best players need to hear is saying, you know ‘go and play’. At times that’s all I’ve had to do. To win the whole thing that’s special. It’s incredible for E[censored]h football especially after what happened with the F[censored]A and Manchester United as well. Unforgettable stuff, to be honest.”
Manchester United were, as you know, the spark for the creation of the World Super League. Lead by Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester City, now better known as Etihad Sports United, the breakaway league was established following the collapse of the Old Trafford club and for the first time next season will be without one of its twelve founding members.
John W. Henry confirmed in a statement released this morning that he is withdrawing Liverpool from the World Super League and instead taking up the offer of a place in the 2022 Major League Soccer season. Having seen his club finish bottom of the regular season for the third straight season, the American will tour the New Anfield club through North America in the hope of success. In the statement, Henry also added that there would be no discussions at any level about the managerial situation at Liverpool. “I feel confident that Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard can work together as a coaching unit. The highly-decorated pair will be charge of Liverpool at the beginning of their debut MLS campaign.”
They will be replaced in the World Soccer League by Roman Abramovich’s Spartak Moscow. The FIFA President’s second club were the overwhelming winners in the bid process. Favourites for the World Super League entry had been Shakhtar Donetsk, who have won three of the last five UEFA Champions League titles, but the Ukrainian club were eliminated in the first round of the ballot with just one vote from 283 members.
Arsenal, who finished the regular season in second place, continued their barren run without claiming a trophy after they were knocked out of the playoffs by Arsene Wenger’s Paris Saint-Germain. The trophyless run dates back to 2005 - when the Frenchman was in charge of the club - but manager Bob Bradley has dismissed calls for him to leave the club after four fruitless seasons in charge. Bradley also refused to be drawn on rumours that could see Cesc Fabregas transferring between Arsenal and Barcelona for the fourth time. The 34-year-old returned to the Emirates in 2017 but has been coveted by his boyhood club since the day he returned.
Barcelona, now based in Qatar, were defeated in the semi-finals by the New York Cosmos. It marks the first time since the league started that the Middle East franchise haven’t at least reached the playoff final and ended their run of World Super League doubles at four.
Relocation of the Old Trafford and Wembley stadiums from Manchester and London to Qatar is expected to be finished in the next month, in time to be tested during the three-match Al-Jazeera Cup with the rubber match played at the New Camp Nou. The highly-prestigious season opening matches will for the first time be without an American franchise competing. Instead it will be three clashes between the FIFA World Super League League Shield winners Barcelona and the FIFA World Super League Trophy champions, Chelsea, for the right to the first draft pick of the 2021 FIFA World Draft.
Normally the FIFA World Draft pick is not hotly-contested or even considered in the build-up to the Al-Jazeera Cup, but with rumours of 25-year-old Christian Maldini’s return continuing to grow, it’s likely he will coveted by a host of clubs. The Italian defender has spent the last five years playing for Silvio Berlusconi’s Diego Maradona-managed AC Milan in Serie A so as to be close to his family. However, following allegations surrounding one of Berlusconi’s famous parties, it appears Maldini is ready to return.
In Major League Soccer, Aston Villa and Sunderland continue to run away with the Eastern Conference. Both sides improved their regular season records at the weekend with victories over DC United and the Seattle Sounders respectively. Villa currently sit top of the Eastern Conference with a near perfect 13-0-1 record. Sunderland (11-0-2) are close behind in second place.
As for non-FIFA related footballing issues, Emile Heskey’s England are overwhelming favourites to win the third Global Football Federation World Tournament, which starts next week, even though their squad has lost 22 players from the victorious 2019 World Tournament team. England remain undefeated in the football federation they established and manager Heskey expects his team have enough to get that run going.
“We’ve prepared as well as we can. We’ve lost a lot of players since the last time we were here but that’s the nature of the beast. The pull and money offered in the Scottish Premier League is just too appealing for some players and by signing for SPL clubs, we lose them to FIFA. I’m confident we still have enough to come away with the trophy.”
Heskey refused to be drawn on suggestions that, at 42, he is set to name himself in the 23-man panel.
Tags: Arsene Wenger, Barcelona, David Beckham, Emile Heskey, FIFA, Qatar
Not as bonkers as what that Cutteridge fella wrote. Nonetheless, good effort.