Every Friday afternoon, twofootedtackle.com selects the best football funnies of the week from @football_shorts. Well, it’s better than doing any work when your brain’s already thinking about the weekend’s football! Here’s the pick of the week we’re leaving behind us.
Liverpool Takeover
Don’t care what John W. Henry says.. Not a single Liverpool fan described themselves or used the word ‘disenfranchised’.
Rumours Gerrard and Torres have been rested on Frank Rijkaard’s orders have been described as ‘a little premature’ by a top club source.
Miners and Scousers celebrating? Is Thatcher dead?
Rooney Saga
Facebook Update: Wayne Rooney and Sir Alex Ferguson have changed their relationship status to ‘complicated’.
Manchester City *likes* this.
Why does Rooney wear 9 in training but 10 on the pitch? Worse… Why do I even know that?
“Why would Rooney wanna play with Messi and David Villa, or Ronaldo and Benzema, when he has the chance to play up front with Carroll and Ameobi?” Newcastle fan with a sense of perpective.
If United concede a late equaliser here… you know who will get blamed…
Moments before Tuncay’s goal made it 1-1.
Let’s not let this Rooney fuss distract from the obvious huge news of the day HIBBERT and OSMAN sign new contracts at Everton.
Inter v Spurs
“I love Benitez’ teams and their all out attacking style…”
“Bet365 live odds inter to win 7-0: 12/1 hahahahaha”
(Shown at half time.)
Surely Robbie Keane is the only piece of business Coventry and Inter Milan have ever done? Anyone?
Super-patronising commentator at 4-1: “Spurs are winning the second half”.
Napoli v Liverpool
Looking forward to ‘An Idiot Abroad’ tonight. 6pm. ITV4.
It’s a seriously big day when Martin Skrtel is nowhere near the biggest skinhead in your team.
Why does one of the Napoli players have a blue tongue? Raspberry Slush Puppies all round? My mate reckons it’s a gumshield, but I informed him this is football and not a schoolgirl’s hockey match.
Jay Spearing looks like he may have used the word ‘lyd’ once or twice in his life.
Commentator: “30,000 Neopolitan whistles” … Did anyone else picture tri-coloured ice cream?
Best quotes
“You know, to see Yakubu climbing a mountain in the Lake District, and enjoying it too, was just a genius bit of management.”
- Phil Neville
“He’s an English manager, so we’ll play an English game - and beat them.”
- Spurs fan on Rafa Benitez and Inter
Word from Naples is it is “like Bandit Country” and “makes Birkenhead look like Beverley Hills”. Reports of violent clashes and injuries too.
“Drilled into the bottom hand corner of the net.”
Statto
Raul has scored in 15 consecutive seasons of the Champions League. Crazy. Legend.
I wonder how many Champions League games there has been 7 goals all at the same end. Lucky Spurs fans.
Box Appears on ITV4 Europa League Coverage: “Napoli lead Liverpool 8 turnovers to 4″. Riiiight..
BBC Match Report: “Everton managed the odd break but Tottenham largely dominated possession.”
BBC Stats for possession: Spurs 51%-49% Everton.
Seventh Game at Chesterfield’s new ground draws a record crowd of 7,777… 4-0 up at this point…we want 7?
Soap Box
FAO Sky: Nobody gives a f**k if an ex-Spurs full back was sent off while playing in Saudi Arabia.
Ironically, if Arsenal did have more players who would tackle - well timed or not - they might actually win something.
Don’t care what John W. Henry says. Not a single Liverpool fan described themselves or used the word ‘disenfranchised’.
Rafa “never managed to get Liverpool to Wembley”, although technically true, isn’t really fair…he would have if not for slow building work.
It seems odd that England cannot produce a left winger. When over the years the home nations have produced Giggs, Duff, Bale and Kilbane.
Throw on top of that the lunacy that when they find a great winger with a great left foot in Adam Johnson. He prefers to play right wing.
Rooney is doing his bit to fight the budget deficit if he goes to City and doubles up to £300k a week, around half of which would be taxable.
If Fergie had threatened to quit unless the Glazers ploughed money in people would have called him a legend. But it wasn’t Roo’s battle…
When The Premiership was on ITV I used to record it so I could fast-forward the adverts. Now I record MOTD so I can FF the sh*t analysis.
Why can’t you watch MOTD in HD? Pull your finger out BBC!
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