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Our next My Favourite XI contributor, Charles Williams, comes from a family of Chelsea supporters, so naturally he chose to support Wimbledon and, latterly, AFC Wimbledon. Good on you Charles. His team contains more comedy than a stand-ups convention.

Previous Favourite XI: Jake Harrison
Next Favourite XI: Rupert Fryer

Goalkeeper: Andy Dibble (Retired)

There are some players for whom your first exposure to them is so extreme that it colours your opinion of them forevermore. I wasn’t familiar with Andy Dibble before he signed for Middlesbrough in the 97/98 season. And then I watched him concede 11 goals, some of them clownishly, in two games. For my friends and I, Dibble was a byword for calamity from that day to this, regardless of his performance in the hundreds of games he played before or after.

A few years ago, I wondered what had happened to him and found out that he’d suffered severe chemical burns while diving onto pitch markings at Camarthen Town while playing for Barry. Could this have happened to anyone else, I asked myself, but Andy Dibble?

I have such confidence in his abilities that I have not named a replacement keeper.

Right back: Vegard Heggem (Retired)

On the flipside, the first full game I watched elfin full-back Vegard Heggem play for Liverpool involved him scoring an unbelievable goal against Middlesbrough, which involved him dribbling past several defenders into the box and then scoring with an amazingly deft chip. Whatever his many other (mainly defensive) shortcomings, I always think of him as a good player for that first impression.

And I’m not the only one. A Liverpool fan forum has a Vegard Heggem appreciation thread started in October last year in which one fan proclaims he has “no doubt” Heggem was “as good an attacking right-back as Dani Alves”.

Centre back: Marcus Gayle (Retired)

As a Wimbledon fan, I think it would be hard not to love World Cup ‘98 Reggae Boy Marcus Gayle. He’s played for both incarnations of the club, in midfield, defence and attack, and is now reserve team manager at AFC Wimbledon. According to Dons manager Terry Brown, he’s basically doing it for the love, and I love him for it.

Centre back: Frank Sinclair (Wrexham)

My parents and brother are all Chelsea fans. I used to worry my dad was going to have a stroke because of Frank Sinclair. I’ve never seen him get so angry with a player, days after a game. You have to appreciate a player as hapless as Frank, his career a litany of red cards and own goals.

At AFC Wimbledon v Wrexham last season, Sinclair “rolled back the years to produce a classic late-night horror-show”, in the words of the BBC match report. In the last five minutes, which Wrexham went into 1-0 up, Frank managed to score a mighty own goal, then, after his team broke away and restored their lead, punched Dons captain Danny Kedwell in the box, conceding a penalty and getting sent off in the process. The game finished 2-2 and Wrexham’s traveling support all looked like my dad used to all those years ago.

Left back: Hermann Hreidarsson (Portsmouth)

It’s to the Icelandic defender’s great credit that, although he has been relegated a record five times from the Premier League with five different teams (Crystal Palace, Wimbledon, Ipswich, Charlton and Portsmouth), it’s still Nigel Quashie that springs to mind when I think of perennial contributors to relegation form. He’s a stout Viking type who’s never let anyone down and he deserves much more from his career than his unfortunate record suggests.

Right midfield: David Beckham (LA Galaxy)

One-paced merchandise salesman he may be, but I’m including Becks because he’s one of the most famous footballers on the planet, has a pop-star wife, obscene wealth and has had more stupid haircuts than I’ve had hot dinners – and somehow I still think he’s an alright bloke. He never complains, he works hard, he seems to be a great dad and he’s a brilliant role model. He is a lesson for the modern footballer in how not to be a twat.

Centre midfield: Vinnie Jones (Retired)

It is very, very difficult to become a top-flight footballer. It is very, very difficult to become a successful Hollywood actor. That Vincent Peter Jones, a man with no discernible aptitude for either of these professions, could achieve both is a testament to his mental strength, violent self-belief, willingness to give anything a go and sheer bloody-mindedness. Fair play, Vinnie.

Centre midfield: Eyal Berkovic (Retired)

I think the little Israeli was really under-rated. He oozed flair and creativity and, when he was on song, could run a game with the best of them.

Left midfield: Michael Hughes (St Neots Town)

If stout Northern Irish twinkle-toes Michael Hughes hadn’t broken his leg in the penultimate game of the 1999-2000 season, I honestly believe Wimbledon would never have been relegated and the whole sorry Milton Keynes saga might never have happened.

Also, on Fifa 99, there seemed to be some sort of bug which made Hughes as good at dribbling as Rivaldo, which used to really annoy my brother as I waltzed the ball through challenge after challenge and then walked it into the net.

Striker: Danny Kedwell (AFC Wimbledon)

The non-league Rooney’s workrate, power and goal return are all good reasons to include him in any team. But earlier this season he particularly won the hearts of the Kingsmeadow faithful by a) rejecting a move to Crawley Town, objectionable purveyors of mysterious riches; and b) to underline the point, allowing himself to be photographed wearing a T-shirt bearing a picture of his own face alongside the slogan “There are some things money can’t buy”.

Striker: Shaun Goater (Retired)

I went to Bermuda a couple of times, back while The Goat was still playing for Man City. The man was a legend there. Him and Kyle Lightbourne. You could get full match reports for both of their teams in the local paper, and barely even the scores for other games. And every taxi driver, waiter and man in the street had a personal Shaun Goater anecdote to tell. He was genuinely loved by an entire island.

Subs:

Paulo Wanchope (Retired)

A man so unpredictable I remember one newspaper simply captioning a picture of him in action for Derby with the words “Wanchope: unpredictable” as if that sufficed to explain the rubber-legged image.

Robbie Earle (Retired)

Sadly tarnished these days by dull punditry and bizarre ticketing allegations, but he was the heartbeat of the latter-day Crazy Gang. Once scored a goal against Arsenal by deliberately punching the ball into the net. It stood. I cheered.

Darren Huckerby (Retired)

A reporter on Sky once asked Huckerby whether he was too good for Division One and not good enough for the Premiership. Huckerby looked witheringly at him and said: “Right. I’ll just retire then, shall I?”

Olof Mellberg (Olympiakos)

Like Hermann Hreidarsson but with twice the beard and none of the relegation.

Simon Bassey (Retired)

Barrel-shaped enforcer Simon Bassey was there as a player from the start for AFC Wimbledon and now, as a coach, provides the continuity of having been there with us every step of the way. His main job now is to stand on the touchline every game yelling “no crosses” at our full-backs as opposing wingers charge them. One day they’ll listen.

Tags: AFC Wimbledon, Andy Dibble, Danny Kedwell, Darren Huckerby, David Beckham, Eyal Berkovic, Frank Sinclair, Hermann Hreidarsson, Marcus Gayle, Michael Hughes, Olof Mellberg, Paulo Wanchope, Robbie Earle, Shaun Goater, Simon Bassey, Vergard Heggem, Vinnie Jones, Wimbledon