My Favourite XI: Jonathan Blezard

Next up in twofootedtackle’s My Favourite XI series is the genius behind Bet Of The Week, Jonathan Blezard. Blez spends hours analysing the market for a cheeky punt or three, but what he’d rather be doing is pretending he’s a Uruguayan striker from the early 90s. Take it away Blez…

Previous Favourite XI: Theo Delaney
Next Favourite XI: Ben Greenwood

Readers of BOTW will be well aware that I am a Man United fan. Sorry to have to break that to you so early in our relationship.

I hope that you agree with me that my XI shows less United bias than you would expect for someone who has been fortunate enough to have grown up with an embarrassment of footballing riches.

It took me an awful lot longer to get to this XI than I anticipated and I will confess, I found sifting through 20 years of football memories quite an emotional experience.

When I looked at the results of my handiwork, it is clear that I should never be in charge of structuring a football team. For the record, I am playing a 4-2-3-1 system. Even Ossie Ardiles would be proud of this team sheet.

It is also apparent that I love an unpredictable maverick, have a huge admiration for the underrated and am an absolute sucker for a sweet left foot. Without further ado…

Goalkeeper: Peter Schmeichel (Retired)

As (almost) undisputedly the best goalkeeper of his generation, I would expect the big Dane to be the choice of many to man the sticks. But as a Manchester United supporting, messy blonde hair sporting, aspiring goalkeeper, Big Peter was always destined to be my hero.

There are too many individual saves to even begin to mention.

Almost twenty years on, one of my most vivid memories of the big man actually has nothing to do with United. Back in the summer of 1992, I remember persuading my mother to let me stay up to watch the end of the European Championships semi-final between Holland and Denmark.

The old lady didn’t let me down, and neither did Schmeichel – diving to his left to save a Marco Van Basten penalty to send the Danes through to the final. Seven years later he would do exactly the same at Villa Park, setting the stage for “that” Ryan Giggs goal and subsequently United’s treble.

Left back: Stuart Pearce (Retired)

I love a player who outwardly displays either competitive aggression or a true passion for the game of football. Pearce always showed both in abundance.

Another thing I love is the pain of failure - without it the good times wouldn’t exist, they would simply be “times”.

I can count on one hand the moments in my life that I have felt an adrenaline rush quite like when Pearce slammed his penalty home against Spain during that Euro ’96 quarter final shoot out. I cannot even begin to comprehend how he felt at that moment.

All I know is that I still suffer from a reflex fist-pumping and shouting reaction whenever I see that clip, irrespective of company or context.

Right back: Denis Irwin (Retired)

Left back, right back, Stoke, Barcelona. Made absolute no difference to dependable Denis. Probably still doesn’t. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you could still rock him out now at full back in the Premier League, aged 46.

Denis was a model professional whose footballing abilities are often somewhat over looked due to some quotes from Sir Alex Ferguson that “he would give you a 7/10 every single week”.

I can assure you I remember more than enough occasions when Irwin came off the pitch in big games with a 9/10 in the game.

Take such consistency, versatility, professionalism and longevity and thrown in a cracking free kick and an unflappable ability from the spot on you have yourself a proper player. And that’s a good thing, as there really aren’t too many more of those in this team.

Centre back: Aaron Hughes (Fulham)

Hands up who saw that coming then? Straight out of left field comes the current Fulham and Northern Ireland captain.

Aaron Hughes is the definition of underrated. Very few people realise quite how long Hughes’ has been a consistently top performer at the highest level.

In the noughties, only four players started more Premier League games than Aaron Hughes – Messrs Lampard, Barry, Carragher and Gerrard. That is quite some company for a player who rarely gets a mention in the mainstream football media.

Hughes currently stands in 23rd place in career Premier League appearances and at only 31-years-old he looks certain to end up in the top 15 in history alongside names such as Shearer, Scholes and Campbell.

And, just for the record, Graeme Souness ran him out of his home town club, Newcastle, for a paltry £1 million to help fund the £8.5 million acquisition of Jean-Alain Boumsong. Yikes.

Centre back: John Terry O’Shea (Manchester United)

Come on. I would rather play with ten men than have Captain Fantastic leading out my troops of a weekend, whilst hanging out of the back of their wives of a weekday afternoon.

I am well aware John O ‘Shea isn’t really a centre back. But then I am regularly told that he isn’t much of a full back or midfielder either.

Having played 379 times for United over almost ten years, including cameo appearances upfront and in goal, John O’Shea is just one of those players I love to love.

Just as with the aforementioned Hughes, O’Shea’s contribution is often overlooked and it infuriates me when it is lazily reported as if any old reserve team player could fulfil an equivalent role if given the opportunity.

By the time he hangs up his boots, the Irishman could have going on for 100 caps and be in the top 20 in appearances for Manchester United. That doesn’t happen by accident.

Centre midfield: Roy Keane (Retired)

Keane is both inspirational and controversial in equal measure and always certain to divide opinion. Due to certain instances of complete instability, the Cork native will never be one of my true idols, but his impact on Manchester United football club should not be underestimated.

I have read interviews with Phil Neville, Darron Gibson and Johnny Evans all saying that Keane has had more influence on their respective careers than any other player. To put it into context, Phil Neville made his debut for the Reds in 1995 and Gibson broke into the first team proper in 2008, three years after Keane left Old Trafford.

His defining moment on the pitch was probably in Turin in 1999. I will never forget the look in his eyes when he was shown the yellow card that would prevent him from playing in the final should United make it. I don’t have the words to describe it.

He carried the weight of four men that night and without him I am 100% convinced United’s Champions League campaign wouldn’t have even made it to Barcelona. So although he didn’t play that night, Keane should be content that it was him who made everything possible.

However, having heard Keane’s view on his DVD As I See It, I can assure you he doesn’t feel the same as me. It is quite clear that, in Keane’s eyes, he didn’t win the Champions League.

Which possibly explains a few things.

Centre midfield: Paul Giggs (Manchester United)

I am not going to bang on about this one as I am sure at least one of these two will be in almost every team.

Now, I am aware it may appear that I am cheating, but let me explain. This is not the Scholes and Giggs at their peaks. This is the 35-year-old variety. So they are having a strict 45 minutes each.

How both these players have adapted their games over the years is exactly what makes me love them so much. Giggs in particular has changed his game more than anyone I have ever seen - except maybe Dwight Yorke. But he didn’t look quite as smooth screening the back four at the Stadium of Light.

Midfield: Alvaro Recoba (Danubio)

I will preface this selection by pointing out that I have watched Alvaro Recoba play less than 1000 minutes of professional football in my entire life. Which, I am aware, will make this selection seem completely bonkers to some. However, he is getting in this team based on no more than 10 minutes of play.

I am totally convinced that I will still be able to recall Recoba’s Inter Milan debut the day I die.

Back in August 1997, a certain £17 million Brazilian striker was making his much anticipated debut for Inter at the San Siro. However, the game didn’t quite go to plan and with Inter 1-0 down and only minutes remaining, Gigi Simoni called upon his second debutant for the day – this time of the 21-year-old Uruguayan variety.

What then transpired over those final few minutes is stuff that only dreams are made of. Except in your dreams, you wouldn’t have been bullish enough to throw in the part where by it is also the debut of the world’s most talked about footballer. Words will never do this justice. Watch it for yourself.

Forward: Ruben Sosa (Retired)

In what is a very odd coincidence, five years before Recoba burst onto the scene against Brescia, there was another unpredictable Uruguayan plying his trade for I Nerazzurri – and he also had a penchant for long range left foot screamers. And his name was Ruben Sosa.

Sosa had an up and down career, but his 1992/93 and 1993/94 seasons at Inter were of the highest order.

I have to confess, this one is all about the socks. I can remember for many years waking up on a Saturday morning specifically to watch Gazetta Football Italia. And then, by noon I was outside in my back garden with a truck load of white gaffer tape wrapped around my ankles, studiously working on my (incredibly) weak left foot.

To this day I have absolutely no idea what the purpose of this tape was or why I thought it was so cool. But I just did. Whenever I was playing football as a kid, I was ALWAYS Ruben Sosa, so for that alone, he is going in the team.

Forward: Eric Cantona (Retired)

What can I possibly say about Eric Cantona to do him justice? No person has ever inspired me so much in any aspect of my life. That probably sounds a little melodramatic, but I assure you it is the 100% truth.

I can still recall sitting on my own watching the highlights of the Munich Testimonial game, which Eric returned for some 12 months after his shock retirement, crying my eyes out. That is probably strange behaviour for a 14-year-old, but is an indication of quite how much of an impact Cantona had on me during his five years at Old Trafford.

Even since his retirement, I still feel a huge connection to the Frenchman – be it in a Nike advert, Ken Loach’s masterpiece Looking for Eric or even last year’s ITV documentary Looking for Manchester. I have blocked the Renault incident from my memory. That was disappointing.

There are an almost infinite number of things I could bring up at this point. The myriad of “1-0, Cantona” victories, the plaster cast, that through ball to Denis Irwin, the sending offs, the volley against Arsenal, the goal at St James’ Park, that chip at Bramall Lane, the Selhurst Park incident, the sardines, the comeback game against Liverpool, that header against Blackburn, the FA Cup final, that goal against Sunderland.

I wouldn’t know where to start. And it is probably best for everyone that I don’t.

Striker: Ronaldo I (Corinthians)

Fit and on form, Ronaldo Luis Nazário de Lima is by far the best striker I have ever seen. Bar none.

If you take a quick glance at his career statistics they are like something from a computer game. 515 career games, 352 goals. 97 caps, 62 goals.

If it wasn’t for a number of career threatening injuries I can only imagine what sort of career statistics we would be looking at today.

I remember Ronaldo scoring a hat trick at Old Trafford a few years back and getting a standing ovation when he was brought off late on. I wasn’t even angry that night. I was appreciative of what I had witness and accepting of the fact we had been taught a lesson by a far superior side. C’est la vie.

He was an unbelievable talent and the gimpy grin, stupid haircuts, world cup final weirdness and weight problems only make him more endearing. And the comical lady boy prostitute incident/apology just completely seals the deal. Legend.

Substitutes
[Editor's note: Due to his cheekiness of merging Scholes and Giggs into one player, we're only allowing Blez four subs.]

Bobo Balde (Arles-Avignon)

I don’t think this selection needs any further embellishment. Football legend.

David Beckham (LA Galaxy)

In my eyes, David Beckham is both a world class footballer and a world-class human being. He might still be England’s best option to play right-back to this day.

Like some footballing equivalent of Callum Giles, hidden away in the corner and called upon every now and then to deliver crosses and set pieces at the appropriate moments. Beckham and Andy Carroll would get on like a Range Rover on fire.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Retired)

Another player who appears to be as impressive a person as he was a finisher. And it is truly fitting that he has ended up on my bench, ready to come on at any moment should Plan A falter (which, let’s face it, with my front five it could well do) or to step in from the start should Ronaldo suffers from any unforeseen convulsions/extortion plots.

Ole had some magical moments in his eleven year Old Trafford career. I still vividly remember listening to his debut goal against Blackburn on Radio 5 (as it was then), his winning goal against Liverpool in the FA Cup at Old Trafford and his 13 minute, four goal, substitute appearance against Nottingham Forest.

And, if my memory serves me correctly, Clive, he featured in some kick around in Barcelona at some point or other as well…

Zinedine Zidane (Retired)

I was torn between three legends of I Bianconeri for what was my 16th and final spot – with the mercurial Frenchman see off Roberto Baggio and Alessando Del Piero with an injury time winner.

I had to watch a lot more of Zidane than I wanted to in the late 90s, with the Old Lady being Man United’s perennial Champions League opponents - most of the time it didn’t go to plan.

Along with Handel and Amstel adverts, Zidane is the Champions League to me.

His winning goal in the 2002 final might possibly be the best singular piece of skill I have ever witnessed on a football field. Most professional footballers cannot even control a ball dropping out of the sky from that height with their weaker foot.

To even strike a ball that cleanly with your weaker foot is world class. I am not sure where on the scale screaming it into the top corner stands on the scale of uberness.

Like the other Frenchman in my squad, Zidane was a flawed beast - he served bans at all three of the World Cups he played in and was sent off an impressive twelve times in his career. And any man that decides to headbutt someone in the World Cup final, with only 10 minutes of their 18 year career remaining, gets a double thumbs up from me.

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