Blueprint for Better Refereeing, Part 4

If you've been reading this series so far, you'll probably have picked up an anti-referee vibe from me. You'd be right.

In parts 1,2 and 3, referees have been given a bit of a hard time. But improving the system isn't a one-way street, so we need to effectively protect and train our referees. That's what part 4 is all about: treatment of referees by players, the Panel proposed in previous posts, and the authorities.

Thing is, I slag off referees more than most. But they're not bad guys, they're not cheats (Chris Foy excepted, natch). They're just...well they're a bit crap. So let's help them.

I think it's important that football continues to push respect (notice the lower-case 'r') for referees, but the FA and Premier League need to understand that respect is earned, not given away for free - and our referees simply do not deserve to be excused the horrific errors they make every single weekend.

The Respect campaign was doomed from the start for that very reason (ain't hindsight wonderful). In fact it's made supporters (and probably players) resent referees more. After all, there's nothing quite so sick-making as a man who starts talking about respect having done nothing to earn it.

The game review discussed in the last post from this series should be the first step in improving refereeing quality in English football. The findings should be fed back to referees directly after every single match, providing a detailed but - and this is most important - constructive assessment.

Constructively advising referees must surely be preferable to the kind of public flogging we've seen handed out to Mark Halsey and Stuart Attwell this season.

Training of referees appears to be lacking, based on the quality of our so-called professionals. So it's time we provided better training (and continue good practice where it already exists). When referees are of decent quality and cut out the obvious errors, they can begin to demand respect from football players. Those players are highly-paid, dedicated and supremely talented individuals. The referees are, currently, only highly-paid.

Here's the potentially controversial bit: I think Premier League-specific training should be provided to all those referees eligible to take charge of top flight matches. It's very important that referees can deal with the different surroundings, which means they should be trained in dealing with superstars (i.e. remaining neutral, level-headed and unbiased throughout games), and what I'll call manager management: ignoring blatant attempts to skew the playing field by talking in the week before a match about how hard-done-by their team is, not being intimidated, and being aware that complaining managers are simply playing the odds.

Extra regulations should be brought in to aid the improvement of referees' reputations. The most important of these would be the banning of referees discussing specific decisions with the media. Halsey began this by explaining a decision a few years back, and it is now commonplace for referees to explain themselves. This must stop, and that would help to kill the 'story' in the press about a decision.

It would also keep the argument about 'which decision' was made in-house so that it can be discussed sensibly. After controversial decisions, referees are often quick to make up or misappropriate rules in order to excuse their errors. It's not on.

So that's part 4. I'd be interested in your views.

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Match Report: Portsmouth 2 - 2 AC Milan

With all due respect to Portsmouth supporters, they can't have imagined in their wildest dreams that their side would ever host AC Milan in the UEFA Cup.

Tonight, on a bitterly cold evening at Fratton Park, they did just that - and the excitement and nerves were there for all to see. Portsmouth, pointless in the group so far, were desperately in need of a win to keep their UEFA Cup prospects attainable.

Ultimately, it was to be painful, painful heartbreak.

The Rossoneri began brightest, but by half time Portsmouth were certainly on top. In the last 20 minutes of that opening period, Pompey kept Milan quiet and created a few decent opportunities.

It was Milan who carved out the first chance. A scuffed free kick from Chelsea flop Andriy Shevchenko found Filippo Inzaghi free on the edge of the area. His mis-hit effort bobbled past Portsmouth goalkeeper David James, who gathered gratefully as the ball bounced off the foot of his post. It wasn't one-way traffic though. Kanu floated a beautiful ball to the back post six minutes later - Peter Crouch should have done better.

The two teams exchanged chances again throughout an end-to-end first quarter of the game and Portsmouth held their own with Nadir Belhadj in particular causing problems. Milan, of course, looked dangerous when passing into the final third.

Inzaghi missed another superb chance on 25 to put Milan ahead, outpacing Sylvain Distin and lobbing the ball over James onto the top of the net. He clearly thought it was in, looking for all the world like he was about to start celebrating. Regardless, Portsmouth took charge for the rest of the first half with the full backs, Belhadj and Glen Johnson, having an absolute stormer - rather like their supporters.

Milan came out all guns blazing after the break, causing problems for Portsmouth twice in the first minute. Again, Portsmouth had chances of their own before really taking the game by the horns, playing superbly well and threatening Dida's goal on a few promising occasions.

Around the hour mark Portsmouth's fans nearly shouted the roof off Fratton Park. Kanu chased a ball down in the penalty area and laid the ball back to Johnson. The right back's cross was inch perfect and was emphatically thumped home by the head of ex-Spurs man Younes Kaboul. 1-0 Portsmouth, and thoroughly deserved it was too.

11 minutes later, just as Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti was preparing to bring on Ronaldinho and Alexandre Pato, it was game over. Portsmouth played some simply brilliant football down the right wing. Johnson was again the provider, Kanu sliding in to blast Pompey's second into the roof of the net from close range. The cheer was deafening, and it was nice to hear the crowd having a pop at the dodgy old bastard Harry Redknapp too.

Milan kept plugging away but the home side were able to pass their way round the Rossoneri for much of the last part of the game. Until, that is, Ronaldinho stepped up to make it 2-1 with a stunning free kick beyond David James into the top corner. If you get a chance to see the goal, do so. It was majestic. Trouble is, it shouldn't have been a free kick.

With the score at 2-1, the pressure was unreal with four or five minutes on the clock. Sadly, it wasn't to be. Deep into stoppage time, Milan broke the Portsmouth defence down with a simple long ball into the area and Pippo Inzaghi, sniffing around in the box as always, controlled perfectly and tucked the ball home.

(Photo Credit: Sky Sports, Transfer Market Web)

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Testicular fun with Michael Ballack and Adidas

There's a few Adidas virals knocking around at the moment, starring top class footballers (and Arjen Robben). We've all seen the Steven Gerrard clay pigeon one, but here's another starring a better player - as a Thanksgiving gift to my American readers, natch...

The video is promoting the new Predator boots, incidentally. They've come a long way:

(Photo Credit: Ciao)

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Quick Hits - Evil Chris Morgan Special

The FA is taking no further action over this. Here are some people who think it should be.

• Disgraceful decision (Off The Post)
• Barnsley fume (Unprofessional Foul)
• Hume deserves better protection (UK Football Finder)
• Marcotti: fractured skull and a billion stitches (Times Online)

...and one that doesn't. But he's a Manchester United fan, which says it all.

• Rightly cleared (Footy Blog)

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Jacqui Oatley: fine in theory but painful in practice

The role, rights and treatment of females in football is always going to be a topic of much (emotionally driven) discussion.

My own dissertation touched on it, examining the experiences of female supporters ranging from an occasional visitor to Stamford Bridge to a Home Park regular. Overall, I found that female fans in the top two divisions are now generally welcomed and face little even in the way of 'banter' based on their gender (and that they readily admit to enjoying aspects of the game which I consider damaging, but that's another post altogether).

Questions remain over what role women could have in the fields of coaching, management and refereeing, while ladies football has seemingly picked up over the last few years with the success of the Arsenal side and increased television coverage.

But what about the media? Anne Coddington's book One Of The Lads dedicates some of its investigation to the plight of women in football media, and highlighted some of the barriers and prejudices they face.

Clearly, being a sociologist of vaguely lefty persuasion, I believe that those barriers and prejudices are a tad bit unfair.

We're all modern folk, right? We accept that equality is a good thing and that women have every right to go as far in football as they like. We're probably a bit reluctant to stoop to becoming a mixed game, but that's only because it would be bloody stupid.

Female fans are certainly more than welcome in the eyes of all sensible supporters. Logically, this breeds experts and, therefore, pundits. The obvious result of female supporters attending matches is that female broadcasters and reporters will become more commonplace. To me, that's a good thing.

But what about commentary? It's possibly the Holy Grail for football broadcasters (assumption alert - I wouldn't know, obviously), and has not yet been properly breached by our good lady equivalents.

For my part, I think female commentators are fine in theory. It's just the natural progression from the spread of equality and growth in the number of knowledgeable football women.

So why all the fuss about BBC commentator Jacqui Oatley?

Apart from being a Wolverhampton Wanderers fan, Oatley seems to have a lot going for her. She's highly-qualified, has played football to a very respectable standard, and has a good level of experience in sports reporting (including broadcast).

But her BBC Radio 5 Live debut and particularly her Match of the Day debut (and subsequent efforts) have been most controversial. Fellow commentators have reportedly been unhappy at being "leapfrogged" by an inferior commentator because of her sex (not in that way, gutterbrains).

Criticism of her performances is often labelled "sexist", but it has to be said that she is simply painful to listen to. Her high-pitched shrieking is unpleasant, and she seems sadly behind play - exposed whenever a goal is scored. Still, not everyone agrees, but given that anybody who uses multiple exclamation marks is almost definitely a total cretin, I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

It's not that women should not be allowed to commentate on football matches. It's a free(ish) country, and it's not like the men are perfect (or even any good).

It's just that Jacqui Oatley is so utterly, utterly terrible.

(Photo Credits: Fox, Amazon)

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Quick Hits 25th November 2008

What I've been reading this lunchtime:

• Xabi Castillo shows Matty Taylor how it's done (Off The Post)
• Hamman and Ball to be disciplined by Manchester City (Bitter & Blue)
• Gary Andrews is Credit crunching through the Conference (Soccerlens)
• Iain Hume re-admitted to hospital (Guardian.co.uk)
• Save Weymouth Football Club (Save Our Club)

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FA Cup rocks for ITV

Regular readers of twofootedtackle will know that ITV has impressed me with its stance since winning rights to this season's FA Cup.

Back in July, their guys sent me some information about what it would be doing (namely screening games that otherwise would not be shown, and generally supporting the early rounds of the Cup in the manner it deserves).

In August, they took myself and Chris Oakley of Some People Are On The Pitch on a fantastic jolly visit to Wembley Football Club, for their super-early tie against Royston Town.

So with money being generated for the clubs involved, grassroots football being shown to all and sundry, and televised games being well attended, how's it working out for ITV?

Well, with a combination of games streamed live and highlights of others, it's going rather well. Over 300,000 ITV FA Cup videos have been viewed this season across ITV.com and ITV Local.

It's a great result for ITV, but it's also valuable exposure for the clubs involved. It would be interesting to see how it's helped some of them out in the longer term.

One of the guys who accompanied Chris and I to Wembley in August was ITV.com's football mad Head of Content, Marc Webber. Here's what he has to say about yesterday's stats:

"We’re delighted with the new figures that show there is massive interest in grassroots football. By making available the early round FA Cup games and allowing clubs to upload video from matches all over the country we have firmly established our websites as must-visit destinations for football fans."

Thank god they've recommended twofootedtackle then!

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Football Twilights #2

Comment on the weekend's football action, courtesy of the good people on the twofootedtackle Twitter stream.

What was your highlight?

@cmrlee seeing all the top four drop points on the same w/e to weaker opposition. Makes it interesting for once.

@redduffman Crystal Palace 4 Bristol City 2.

@garyandrews Emmanuel Panther's goal v Morecombe and seeing all of the 'big four' failing to score.

@chrisoakley I'll go for Dagenham & Redbridge beating Notts County 6-1...

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PremWatch 24th November 2008

After a weekend where the top five all failed to score and the goals were few and far between, here's PremWatch.

Newcastle United and Fulham held Chelsea and Liverpool respectively to goalless draws on home turf. The top two failing to capitalise on each other's failings was a source of much amusement - unlike the game at Anfield, which was devoid of even a booking.

Things went from bad to worse for Arsene Wenger, with Manchester City thumping Arsenal 3-0 at Eastlands. Stephen Ireland's opener was followed up by a piece of delicate brilliance from Robinho. Daniel Sturridge wrapped it up from the penalty spot. Still, Nicklas Bendtner wore pink boots, which was nice.

Two early strikes from Bolton Wanderers stunned Middlesbrough into submission at the Riverside. Gretar Steinsson put Bolton ahead before Matt Taylor worked a nice goal for himself in the 10th minute. Emmanuel Pogatetz blasted in Middlesbrough's goal but Johan Elmander sealed a win for Gary Megson just a minute later.

Tony Adams' Portsmouth side looked to have beaten Hull City at Fratton Park. Peter Crouch's header was cancelled out by Michael Turner's, before Pompey right back Glen Johnson unleashed a cracker to restore the lead. It wasn't to be for Portsmouth: Dean Windass forced Noe Pamarot into an own goal at the death to level matters at 2-2.

Mamady Sidibe settled the battle of the promoted teams at the Britannia, heading Stoke City's late winner against West Bromwich Albion.

In Saturday's late kick off (thanks very much, Setanta), new Manchester United signing Chris Foy successfully rewarded cheating and diving at Villa Park, but failed to give a penalty or free-kick and send off Nemanja Vidic for using Gabriel Agbonlahor as a climbing frame while through on goal for Aston Villa.

On Sunday, Tottenham Hotspur beat Blackburn Rovers at White Hart Lane. Aaron Lennon created the winner for Roman Pavlyuchenko, and continued to slaughter Martin Olsson, who was sent off on 39 minutes for two yellow card offences.

A deflected goal by Valon Behrami was enough to earn West Ham United a rare three points at the Stadium of Light. Djibril Cisse missed several chances to level for Sunderland, who were unlucky not to get a couple of spot kicks.

So, a new set of faces in the top four. Aston Villa join Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United, dropping Arsenal to fifth. West Bromwich Albion and Blackburn Rovers are accompanied in the bottom three by Wigan Athletic, who face Everton tonight at the JJB.

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Betfair buy a goal celebration

There's not many things that could make me pleased that the game I'm attending tomorrow kicks off at 5.30pm, but this is one of them.

Betfair is launching its new online game, Taikai, with a commercial goal celebration challenge. The first footballer to carry out the assigned celebration, a silly Karate Kid crane position-based nonsensical arrangement, wins £10,000. Oh, and Betfair get a stack of publicity.

Only thing is, it won't all be positive publicity (not that they care).

I have two issues with this, probably both fairly predictable to regular readers of twofootedtackle. First, at a time when footballers look down from their money mountains at the rest of us fighting for pennies in the dirt, a bunch of overpaid ne'er-do-wells acting the idiot and then praying they were the first is hardly appropriate. It's not as if they need the money.

Second, it's yet another manifestation of the commercialisation and generalisation of football. Sadly, most of the Johnny-come-lately fans will think this campaign is 'funny'. It ain't.

How will you feel if one of your players celebrates in this manner? (By the way, I'm aware I'm pissing into the wind on this one.)

(Photo Credit: Man Utd Pies)

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Wenger's Arsenal missing a couple of Gunners?

He's getting a lot of criticism, Arsene Wenger.

It's been going on for most of the season, spiced up by Arsenal's defeats to Fulham and Hull City. This time last week, the Gunners were still basking in the glory of their victory over Manchester United and the world was swooning in the shadow of Arsenal's talented youngsters following their win over Wigan Athletic.

But Arsenal were beaten at the Emirates Stadium by Aston Villa last Saturday, and the situation at Arsenal has turned very, very sour. So what's going wrong?

Speaking to one or two Arsenal fans, I've heard concerns that Arsene Wenger may be struggling to motivate his players for 'mundane' matches. Let's face it, as a player it's not difficult to get yourself up for a home match against Manchester United with your Premier League title hopes hanging in the balance. But a should-win tie against an out-of-sorts Aston Villa side? That's where the manager comes in...in theory.

A more cynical man than myself might argue that this is the first sign of managerial demise - fortunately I don't think it's particularly accurate.

What is absolutely certain is that Arsenal do not have any leaders on the pitch, and that's a real problem. The debate about William Gallas' captaincy has been raging since that infamous trip to Birmingham City last season, but has roared into overdrive today.

Gallas, for some reason, felt the need to unburden himself to the Associated Press about the Arsenal changing room being "at war" and a feud with a younger player. Clearly Gallas is far from inspirational, preferring to totter along in his crazy little world with no respect from his team. What a skipper!

What's more, Arsene Wenger seems to be eternally two years away from having built a world-beating football team. He doesn't spend the money to compete with Manchester United and Chelsea in all areas of the pitch, and Wenger's approach is beginning to cost Arsenal silverware. Even the most hardened Arsenal supporter must accept that, surely?

But let's not forget this is Arsene Wenger we're talking about. The man has had some amazing achievements at Arsenal, picking up three Premier League titles and four FA Cup wins since taking over from Bruce Rioch in 1996. Of course, this included a magnificent double in 2002 and the incredible 'Invincibles' season, and is supplemented by a Champions League final appearance in 2006.

And whatever we say about Arsene Wenger's approach to English youngsters, there's no doubt he's cultivated some excellent - and indeed some English - players destined for greatness. The talent already existed in the likes of Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Gael Clichy and Robin Van Persie, but Wenger's management has made them better players than they would've been without his influence.

And it's not just the kids. Remember how good Thierry Henry, Robert Pires and Marc Overmars were? That didn't happen by accident. Granted, Dennis Bergkamp was already pretty special, but the point remains. Hell, Wenger even briefly turned Tony Adams into a cultured centre half.

But something's definitely gone wrong at Arsenal. So if Arsene Wenger's still got it, what's missing?

As I've mentioned, the Arsenal changing room is devoid of leaders. Around the time Thierry Henry left the club he was the subject of a lot of criticism from outside - and innuendo from within - about being too domineering, even overbearing. But to most of us Henry looked like a lifting presence as well as an inspirational player.

Sure, he was a little arrogant and bossy, but wouldn't you agree that's exactly what Arsenal need right now?

I think Arsenal are also lacking a strong presence and character at the very back of the team. Like Henry, goalkeeper Jens Lehmann got plenty of stick. He's slightly error-prone and undoubtedly has attitude 'issues'. But he was gobby, determined and dominant. Manuel Almunia is a good goalkeeper, but he doesn't have the impact of Lehmann.

Finally - and I admit freely that this isn't exactly a simple one to fix - Arsenal are missing a genius. Dennis Bergkamp was a phenomenal talent, a player with the kind of vision and touch that only comes around once in a generation. And Arsenal inevitably miss him. Call me presumptuous, but I think Van Persie, injury free, has some similar traits. That's all I'm going to say.

There are some important gaps in the Arsenal squad at the moment, and I think they're exposing the few weaknesses in Arsene Wenger's game. But over the years he's done more than enough to earn the time and space to rebuild his squad.

There's just one problem: how long will Arsenal fans tolerate a lack of silverware?

(Photo Credits: The Sun, BBC Sport (2))

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Quick Hits 19th November 2008

Excellent and/or interesting footballing stuff I've read this lunchtime.

• Superb piece on 3-5-2 by Jonathan Wilson (Guardian.co.uk)
• Tax troubles at AFC Bournemouth (Bournemouth Echo)
• Theo Walcott = borked longtime (Dirty Tackle)
• Anti-Maradona bollocks from a Times blogger (Times Online)
• Jamie Byatt leaves Tooting & Mitcham United (Local Guardian)

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Bitter Butcher won't shake the Hand of God

I thought it was great when former England meathead Terry Butcher returned to Scotland to become assistant coach of the national team. But not because I care about the fortunes of said national team (I don't), nor because I think there's even the remotest chance that Butcher will be a passable assistant coach (I don't).

I just thought the foolish old git would be punting out his inane crap a) behind closed doors and b) north of the border. No longer would my radio waves be subjected to Butcherference.

22 years ago (that's over two decades, for reference), England were knocked out of the World Cup quarter final in Mexico by Argentina, thanks to two goals - of varying genius and legality - from one Diego Armando Maradona. Terry Butcher, not being one to hold a grudge, has showed what a wise old dude he is by stating, in the run up to Maradona's debut as Argentina boss against Scotland, that he won't be shaking Maradona's hand because he still hasn't forgiven him.

For his part, Maradona doesn't really appear to give a toss - and rightly so.

"I was selected for the drugs test with Gary Stevens and Kenny Sansom and ended up in the room with Maradona and two of his pals," recalled Butcher. "Our World Cup was over and they were celebrating."

"It could have been a war-zone in there but it wasn't. I wasn't next to him, if I was I might have done something...I think I'm 4-1 to get a red card in the tunnel - it would be the fist of Terry Butcher rather than the hand."

What a pleasant individual - and while we're at it, how could the Argies celebrate?! How disgraceful of them.

Terry Butcher, wind your neck in. We already know you're lacking a little bit up top thanks to your awful performances on the radio. But this makes you look utterly childish. Besides which, you're talking about the greatest player in the history of the game. Have some respect.

What do you think about this situation? Should Butcher shake Maradona's hand? Should he forgive and/or forget?

(Photo Credits: BBC Sport)

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Adidas and Chelsea FC launch 'Blue Pitches'

The grass-roots sport scene in west and south west London found itself with that little bit more support on Friday, with the launch of Blue Pitches, an initiative from Chelsea Football Club and its kit supplier, Adidas. Many thanks to them for the press release.

The scheme was launched at Battersea Park School in Wandsworth, with Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari, chief blazer Peter Kenyon, Frank Lampard and Michael Ballack present. There will be four pitches (like the one shown above), with Earlsfield and Eel Brook Common (both due today) following the opening of Wandsworth and World's End.

As a resident of the Garratt Lane area, I pass the Henry Prince Estate almost every day - so they really are building a Blue Pitch on my doorstep.

The aim of the pitches, which can incorporate tennis and basketball as well as football, is to get local kids involved in grass-roots sport. Primary use will fall to the club's community coaches, but will be free for the local community to use. Of course, there's an element of tackling knife/gun/drug culture and anti-social behaviour, and Adidas and Chelsea should be commended for a nice bit of work to that end.

As a sociologist by geekdom, this kind of thing is really important in my mind. I'm a staunch defender of football, and I'd be the first to argue that it should not bear the weight of social ills alone. But the fact is football is big enough and ugly enough to do plenty of good when it puts its mind to it, and it's always re-assuring when it does so.

The sheer size and financial weight of Chelsea Football Club means it, above almost any other, is capable of doing some real good in London's communities. Blue Pitches is a superb step forward, combining good intentions, excellent facilities and a velcro-esque gimmick.

Of course, what really matters is what Chelsea and Adidas do from here on in - and even then there's the wider question of whether even football is big enough to make a telling difference. Don't get me wrong, the country isn't in the state some would have you believe, but there are kids out there who need a real lift. Giving them the facilities to stay entertained and occupied might just keep a few on the rails who would otherwise have looked elsewhere.

However it turns out, Blue Pitches is an admirable attempt and well worth a mention. In the meantime, I might just have a mooch down to the Henry Prince to have a quick look-see for myself.

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Football Twilights #1

Comment on the weekend's football action, courtesy of the good people on the twofootedtackle Twitter stream.

What was your highlight?

@litmanlive Titus "Calamity" Bramble getting a last minute equaliser at his former club. I should have put money on that. Yours ?

@markcrosby TNS scoring in dying seconds to get 3 points. Llanelli and Rhyl drop points to make it tight at the top.

@chrisoakley Has to be Herelho Gomes spilling the ball lamely into the Spurs net against Fulham. More of which later... :)

@talleddie Surely the Wolves keeping up their remarkable run! That, and the performance of my fantasy team!

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PremWatch 17th November 2008

An almost-traditional weekend of Premier League football saw eight out of the 10 fixtures kick off on Saturday, many at 3pm. Just like the old days, no? Here's what went down.

Liverpool kicked the weekend's action off with a comfortable-looking 2-0 win away at Bolton Wanderers. The scousers were not made to pay for abysmal finishing by Robbie Keane, their blushes spared by Dirk Kuyt and Steven Gerrard. Gary Cahill had a goal ruled out for Wanderers, the referee disallowing it because Kevin Nolan impeded Reds goalkeeper Pepe Reina. Reina fouled Nolan first, but hey ho.

Things are not going to plan for Arsene Wenger at the Emirates. His Arsenal side followed their impressive win over Manchester United by losing 2-0 to Aston Villa. Ashley Young missed a penalty in the first half, but an own goal from Gael Clichy and a controversial cracker from Gabriel Agbonlahor sealed the points for Martin O'Neill's men.

Chris Samba put Blackburn Rovers ahead in their home match against Sunderland (Roy Keane was there) with a strong header on half time. Sunderland roared back with goals from Kenwynne Jones and Djibril Cisse to continue Rovers' awful run.

Heurelho Gomes continued his attempts to become the worst goalkeeper of all time with another absolute stinker against Fulham. The Tottenham Hotspur goalkeeper spooned the ball into the net from a Simon Davies cross before Andy "Andrew" Johnson made it two. Fraizer Campbell tucked in a tidy consolation for Spurs, but Harry Redknapp was left ruing...being Harry Redknapp.

Manchester United dismantled Stoke City at Old Trafford, winning 5-0. Thomas Sorensen failed to deal with a simple save from a Cristiano Ronaldo free kick. The winger later added the fifth from another dead ball. Michael Carrick cracked in the second and Dimitar Berbatov the third, before teenager Danny Wellbeck launched a 30-yard rocket into Sorensen's top corner to make it four.

Ryan Taylor's clever strike put Wigan Athletic in front at Newcastle United, but referee Andre Marriner did his best to swing the game in favour of everyone's "favourite" team. His disgraceful sending off of Emerson Boyce is exactly why referees are in no position to ask for Respect, and enabled Newcastle to get a grip on the game. Michael Owen scored a tap-in, before Oba Martins put United ahead with a thunderbolt on 87. Hilariously, Joe "Fu" Kinnear's side threw it away from a set piece, former Magpie Titus Bramble loving his celebration.

West Ham United faced off against Portsmouth. Jermain Defoe was booed. Nothing else happened.

In the evening kick off, Chelsea demolished West Bromwich Albion. Jose Bosingwa scored the first with a staggering left-footed shot. Nic Anelka grabbed two, both deftly finished, to keep Chelsea in touch at the top.

Sunday played host to two games. Gary O'Neil neatly tucked in Middlesbrough's opener at Goodison Park, but former Boro man Yakubu equalised for Everton, keeping David Moyes' side in the hunt for Europe.

It was another exciting afternoon in the life of a Hull City supporter. City went ahead against Manchester City through Daniel Cousin, before a brace from the excellent Stephen Ireland turned the game on its head. But there was, of course, a twist. A free kick from former Man City man Geovanni levelled for Hull on the hour mark.

All of which means that Chelsea still lead from Liverpool, with Manchester United in third and Arsenal fourth. Aston Villa are fifth, level on points with the Gunners. West Bromwich Albion, Tottenham Hotspur and Blackburn Rovers make up the bottom three.

(Photo Credits: BBC Sport)

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Quick Hits 14th November 2008

I've read some things today. Here be a few of them:

• Keane's going nowhere (Sunderland Echo)
• Taking the piss out of the FA Cup (twohundredpercent)
• Drogba charged (Guardian.co.uk)
• Megson miraculously talks out of rectum (BBC Sport)
• Mourinho dumps Adriano and Quaresma (Football Italia)

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Ishmel Demontagnac v Craig Gardner

One of the biggest sources of discontent among football supporters is watching a bunch of kids who have it all - the pick of orange slags, the best cars, and a talent we'd all die to have - throw it all away through stupidity and lack of discipline. The most serious recent case is that of former Plymouth Argyle goalkeeper Luke McCormick, who killed two young boys while driving drunk on the M6. He's currently in clink.

But the West Midlands is seeing a direct comparison between good and bad, wise and stupid, admirable and bloody hideous. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ishmel Demontagnac, and Craig Gardner.

Demontagnac was sacked by Walsall today. The 20-year-old winger, no stranger to 'lapses' in discipline on the field, also appears to have become a close friend of West Midlands Police off it. He was arrested over the weekend in what Walsall gaffer Jimmy Mullen called "the culmination of several serious incidents". The arrest was for a suspected breach of the peace, whatever that means.

Mullen clearly believes Demongagnac is a supreme talent, but that his personality will prevent him from succeeding. I have it on good authority that the lad was on his final written warning. It's an intriguing story, of that there is no doubt.

By comparison, Aston Villa's England under-21 midfielder (well, England under-21 full back) Craig Gardner has been in receipt of praise in the local press for loyalty to his boyhood Sunday league club, Arden Forest.

I'll let the excellent Lisa Smith tell the story:

"Gardner was just 14 when he first joined Sheldon-based outfit Arden Forest where he played for one season before catching the eye, first of a Birmingham City scout, and then Aston Villa where he now plies his trade in the Barclays Premier League.

"But the England Under-21 star has never forgotten the Sunday side who set him on his way and is a regular visitor back to his roots - his grassroots that is - to cheer on the current crop of future stars.

"Now Gardner, who was born and bred in Yardley, has kitted out the majority of the 14 teams who cater for boys and girls aged from Under 7 to Under 16 with £4,000 of new strips or training tops."

There are plenty of good eggs in football, and Gardner is undoubtedly one of them. It's just a shame we don't see more, and that, with idiots like Demontagnac knocking around, footballers are increasingly seen as the enemy of society.

Any other examples of decent characters at your club?

(Photo Credits: Birmingham Mail, Walsall FC)

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Blueprint for Better Refereeing, Part 3

In the two previous posts on this subject, I've looked at the problems with refereeing in English football (particularly the Premier League), and a bunch of possible solutions. The culmination of this was the proposal that the review system be revolutionised, replacing today's process with a full-time panel and new reviewing methods.

Currently, referees are assessed each game and given a score out of 100. But I'm sure you'll agree that's not the whole story. The referees' old boys' network is becoming more and more obvious, the Respect campaign is a farce and the authorities seem increasingly willing to hang their 'colleagues' out to dry for mistakes they should be equipped against making.

So how should the new review and assessment process work? Truthfully, it's probably not far removed from the current method, only it's more in depth and fair.

Firstly, every minute of every game would be watched not just by one assessor, but by the full panel. The panel would provide a General Performance Assessment, a qualitative passage about the referee's showing on any given afternoon. This section would cover the officials' handling of the match, style, positioning etc.

Further, the panel would give a Key Decision Assessment. I gather this is already included in assessment of referees' but the collaborative input of a panel should improve the verdicts. Every red and yellow card decision, plus every decision for two passages of play prior to each goal.

But here's the new bit: referees would be hooked up to a microphone and recorded for the entire match. They would not be heard by the supporters or television viewers, but only by the assessors. Refs should be encouraged (not obliged, encouraged) to explain each decision immediately. The tape would be played alongside the video in the assessment office.

This would eradicate any confusion (or, more to the point, lying - *cough* HALSEY *cough*) about how or why decisions are reached. It's all in the spirit of openness, an openness which should be matched by the panel in their response to each refereeing performance.

Quality garners Respect. Perhaps the FA should have thought of that this summer.

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Football Pariah #738: Chris Morgan

Sheffield United defender Chris Morgan's getting a bit of a slaughtering in the media and the blogosphere at the moment, and rightly so. I've long thought Morgan to be little more than a thug in football boots, and things are really heating up for him following his assault on Iain Hume of Barnsley. And he only got a yellow card!

You see, having elbowed and punched his way around football, Morgan's looking at serious trouble. Hume suffered a fractured skull in the attack, and found himself in a high dependency unit in what was initially a life-threatening condition. Big man, Morgan.

The Blades thug, of course, has plenty of form in this area.

I don't actually remember this punch to the face of Steve Kabba, but there's plenty more where that came from. Morgan's most famous assault was this butch, manly punch of Arsenal's Robin Van Persie. He was eventually charged, which means the powers that be should, in theory, lob the book at him this time around.

At around the same time, Morgan was the victim of similar incidents on a surprisingly regular basis. Aston Villa 'hardman' (yeah, right!) Juan Pablo Angel swung an elbow at Morgan at the end of a Premier League match at Bramall Lane. Lee McCulloch, then of Wigan, punched Morgan in the face - leaving him with a right old shiner.

Naturally, being a thug's thug, Morgan urged the authorities not to punish McCulloch, spouting all the 'man's game' and 'physical sport' bollocks that will be used in his defence this time around. But if you ask me, the Angel and McCulloch incidents were a little fishy. Provoked much? I wouldn't be surprised.

Whether or not you choose to factor in Morgan's violent past, it seems obvious to me that the guy is in big trouble for elbowing Hume. I get that football is a contact sport. I'd like it to regain some of its physicality, and I think it'd be great to see some accurate, full-blooded tackles return to the game. But GBH? Not so much.

(Photo Credit: Yahoo! Eurosport)

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Quick Hits 11th November 2008

Here's what's cracking this morning:

• Top players targeted in drug testing crackdown (Guardian.co.uk)
• South African consortium linked with Portsmouth (Goal)
• FA fights to rescue Respect campaign (Metro)
• Bent is back? (Unprofessional Foul)
• Barnsley consider legal action against thug Morgan (BBC Sport)
  
  

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PremWatch 10th November 2008

I may or may not disagree, but it's being said rather a lot at the moment that the Premier League is 'exciting' this season. What did the weekend just gone do to enhance that idea?

Shrugging off a week of criticism following poor results against Stoke City and Fenerbahce, Arsene Wenger's Arsenal beat Manchester United 2-1 at the Emirates. Samir Nasri played a blinder, capping it off with the winning brace. Rafael netted for United.

Matty Taylor scored the winner for Bolton Wanderers as they sent Hull City to a 1-0 home defeat. Sixth is not to be sniffed at, but Bolton's win should serve as a reminder to Hull that it's not all beating Arsenal in the Premier League. There are crap days too.

Liverpool bounced back from defeat by Spurs to sweep aside West Bromwich Albion at Anfield. Robbie Keane's double (his first and second goals for Liverpool) saw the Baggies off before Alvaro Arbeloa rubbed salt into the wound.

Djibril Cisse fired Sunderland ahead early on against Portsmouth at the Stadium of Light, but it was not to be Roy Keane's afternoon. A fine strike from Nadir Belhadj levelled for Pompey, and a stoppage time penalty from Jermain Defoe gave Tony Adams his first Portsmouth win.

A cracking goal from youngster Jack Collison put West Ham United ahead at Upton Park, but the Hammers collapsed at the end to allow Everton three goals in four minutes in the last ten. Joleon Lescott and Louis Saha (2) earned the late win for David Moyes' side.

Wigan Athletic played Stoke City. Nothing happened.

On Sunday, Chelsea kicked things off in the pissing rain against Blackburn Rovers. After dominating early, Chelsea went ahead through Nic Anelka, who handled the ball past stranded (and protesting) goalkeeper Paul Robinson. Anelka grabbed a second as Chelsea flew back to the top of the league.

Aston Villa's worst performance of the season ended in defeat at home to Middlesbrough. A mix-up involving Nicky Shorey and Martin Laursen handed Tuncay Boro's first on a plate, before Steve Sidwell equalised for Villa. Tuncay was gifted the winner at the death by an horrific Sidwell error.

Robinho netted early for Manchester City at Eastlands, but Darren Bent roared in with a brace to bag three more points for Tottenham Hotspur, with Gelson Fernandes having been sent off for City. Further red cards were shown to Richard Dunne and Spurs man Benoit Assou-Ekotto, presumably for his haircut.

Newcastle United couldn't handle Andrew Johnson, who scored and won a penalty for Fulham as they ran out 2-1 winners at Craven Cottage. Skipper Danny Murphy scored the winner from the spot after Shola Ameobi had levelled for the Magpies.

So Chelsea top the table, with Liverpool in hot pursuit. Arsenal leapfrog Manchester United into third, while Aston Villa stay fifth despite defeat at home. West Bromwich Albion, Newcastle United and Sunderland are propping up the rest - but it's damn tight down there.

(Photo Credits: BBC Sport)

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Poor, poor Manchester United [insert tears here]

It's tough managing Manchester United. You have to make do with the best centre back pairing in the Premier League, the best player on the planet, England's most promising player for decades and Ryan Giggs. You're managing the Premier League and Champions League holders, have masses of money to spend and are kindly allowed as much stoppage time as is necessary for your team to score a vital goal.

But woe betide Lady Luck if she dares to look at you in the wrong way.

After Manchester United's defeat to Arsenal on Saturday, manager Sir Alex Ferguson has blazed forth with another of his offensive and ill-informed rants about how there is an anti-United conspiracy. This time, Ferguson has ludicrously claimed that the Premier League's fixture computer is 'handicapped' - i.e. not completely random - and Manchester United have deliberately been given away fixtures after each of their Champions League outings.

Ferguson's comments, covered here at Times Online, included the following:

"They say the league is not handicapped, but I’m not so sure. Having every game away from home following a European tie is not easy. Going from Celtic on Wednesday to play at Arsenal the following Saturday lunchtime is hard, although, funnily enough, I didn’t think it was a problem on this occasion."

However, as pointed out both by Oliver Kay and Football365's MediaWatch, Manchester United did not suffer from a similar affectation last season, when more post-CL matches were drawn at home. Then again, Alex Ferguson and the facts are rarely bestest buddies.

Ferguson's comments come a week after Arsenal head honcho Arsene Wenger openly accused Stoke City stars of injuring his players in Arsenal's defeat at the Britannia. It's all fun and games at the top, clearly.

(Photo Credit: Football.co.uk)

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Carling's Dodgiest Kit

Got an email from Carling while I was in Prague informing me that the Carling One-All community has awarded the Carling Pub Football Awards 'Dodgiest Kit' gong to Lakes United from Redcar.

Pourquoi? Well, the green and white number above is the Iraqi national team strip - complete with the squad's names. Okay, so it's hardly Coventry's brown away kit but it's easy to see why the panel (including Robbie Earle and Des Kelly) picked this one.

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Steven Gerrard, the hypocrite

I saw this a few months back, but was delighted to see it return on F365 MediaWatch today, just to give me a bit of a giggle.

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Ten lessons we've learned so far this season

Now we're into November, it seems an opportune time to have a quick squizz through the first few months of the season and think about the lessons we've learned in the world of football since those sunny, sunny days back in August.

The Premier League currently has the 'traditional' top four of Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal - perhaps surprisingly in that order. Wolverhampton Wanderers have taken the Championship by storm, while Charlton Athletic struggle. Leeds United look in good shape to escape League One, and each game that goes by makes the plight of Luton Town worse and worse.

Here are this season's lessons, August to October:

Chelsea aren't so easy to hate as they used to be

Roman Abramovich's takeover and the eventual buying of success put Chelsea in a bad place in popularity terms, but the 'score one, shut up shop, nick another' mentality of Jose Mourinho's Chelsea, plus the cynical referee-baiting of John Terry and his colleagues, sent them into the stratosphere when it came to hatred. But with Liverpool's posturing, Tottenham Hotspur's media circus and Newcastle United's constant 'Best Fans in the World' bollocks, Phil Scolari's side have become more palatable thanks to some scintillating football. Even Frank Lampard seems to be more bearable these days.

Serie A is back to its best

With Ronaldinho heading to AC Milan, Kaka staying and a whole host of teams gunning for the Scudetto, Serie A is one of the most exciting, competitive leagues in Europe this season. Milan sit atop the table, but they've not had it all their own way. Some fascinating results have seen Udinese, Lazio and Napoli stake a claim, the latter being tipped as a dark horse for top spot. Roma struggle domestically, and will be looking to improve on the back of last night's victory over Chelsea.

Money can't buy me love

Manchester City supporters have a whole new fan experience to get accustomed to. The wellbeing of football and the cult of traditionalism are increasingly hot topics (in the Alan Partridge sense) in the game's supporter culture, and, since the Abu Dhabi United takeover, Manchester City Football Club is fast becoming its number one folk devil. Given the outpourings of joy following Thaksin's Shinawatra's purchase of the club, I think we can forget any chance of City supporters retaining a sense of perspective.

Joey Barton will never change

Barton spent the first part of the season either in clink or suspended from football for assorted assaults on team-mates and McDonalds customers. In between, the look on his face as he smugly received jeers at the Emirates said more than a thousand words would. He played like a thug that night. On his return, we've predictably already seen him strike an opponent and he is now being investigated by Aston Villa on suspicion of racially abusing Gabriel Agbonlahor.

Football still has room for Maradona

Argentina are set for a different approach having appointed the one and only Diego Armando Maradona as national coach. His personality and deity-like popularity far outweigh what he's actually done in management, but he's already made a splash. Javier Mascherano could become Maradoo's captain, and Napoli's German Denis and Ezequiel Lavezzi have been earmarked for his first squad. New look Argentina, new World Cup in the Buenos Aires trophy cabinet?

Mick McCarthy is a promotion specialist

Okay, we probably already knew this, but his performance at Wolves this season confirms it. McCarthy hasn't yet come to terms with the Premier League, but he seems to know how to get there. He's assembled a very good Championship side at Molineux and I wouldn't be surprised if Wolves maintained their promotion push to get back into the top flight. Whether McCarthy can keep them there is a different matter.

Transfer fee isn't everything

Steve Bruce's Wigan Athletic have failed to get the points their performances deserve this season, but one player in particular is receiving plenty of recognition. Loan signing Amr Zaki has been the Premier League's surprise package so far, banging in goals like nobody's business for a side playing well but struggling for points. His partnership with Emile Heskey has highlighted the good parts of Heskey's game, and is arguably responsible for his stunning return to form for England.

Football has a soul

Despite my ramblings about the death of football, this season has taught me that the soul of the game is alive and well. Gary Andrews and Marc Webber from ITV.com took me to Wembley v Royston Town in the super-early rounds of the FA Cup in August, and it was the kind of experience that reinvigorates one's love for football. Even better, Gary and I went to support our local team, Tooting & Mitcham United, last week. Football is brilliant.

England are capable

Steve McClaren and, some say, Sven Goran Eriksson, destroyed our faith in the England national side. Fabio Capello's reign started slowly, but a perfect record in World Cup Qualification was capped by a magnificent 4-1 win in Croatia. See, folks...we can be good.

Nobody cares about La Liga

Spanish football is boring. I've heard sod all from Spain all season - maybe it's just me, but it seems that the top teams in La Liga struggled to bring in players of the quality to replace those who left. UK fans of La Liga only seem to care about Real Madrid or Barcelona, and everyone else is a sideline. Leo Messi aside, think of the top ten players in Europe. Where do they play? I rest my case.

All in all, things look exciting for the season. Let's hope it stays that way.

What have you learned since August?

(Photo Credit: BBC Sport)

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PremWatch 4th November 2008

A long old weekend of Premier League football came to a close in Newcastle last night. Here's my weekly roundup of top flight action.

On Saturday, Chelsea demolished Sunderland at Stamford Bridge. Alex, Nic Anelka (3), and Frank Lampard provided the goals as Phil Scolari's side put five past the Black Cats to go top of the league.

Louis Saha grabbed his first Everton goal late on in the Toffees' home win over Fulham. Saha's 87th minute header was the only goal of Everton's first home league win this season and put Fulham bang in trouble.

Game of the weekend took place at Old Trafford. Cristiano Ronaldo opened the scoring for Manchester United before Daniel Cousin equalised for Hull City. Michael Carrick, Ronaldo and Nemanja Vidic looked to have the game done and dusted for United as they went 4-1 up. But City brilliantly fought back to 4-3, the goals coming from Bernard Mendy and, from the penalty spot, Geovanni.

Gianfranco Zola's West Ham United took an away lead at Middlesbrough through Hayden Mullins. Mido netted a late leveller for Boro, and goalkeeper Ross Turnbull pulled off a great double save to earn Gareth Southgate's men a valuable point.

There was entertainment a-plenty at Fratton Park as Portsmouth went all out to cancel out Amr Zaki's penalty, scored in first half stoppage time. Pompey eventually scored the goal they desired, Niko Kranjcar thundering in the equaliser with eight minutes left. But Wigan Athletic refused to give up, and Emile Heskey ran on to a through ball to scramble in an injury time winner.

Stoke City stunned Arsenal with a 2-1 home win. Rory Delap's undefendable long throws again caused havoc as Ricardo Fuller and Seyi Olofinjana put the Potters 2-0 up. Robin Van Persie was then sent off for the Gunners before Gael Clichy bagged a consolation goal. Arsenal picked up a few troubling injuries.

Benni McCarthy was sent off at the Hawthorns as Blackburn Rovers drew 2-2 with West Bromwich Albion. McCarthy had put Rovers one up from the penalty spot, but Albion took the initiative against ten men in the second half. Ishmael Miller and Roman Bednar both scored for the Baggies, but Keith Andrews grabbed a late equaliser.

In Saturday's late kick off, Liverpool rolled over and had their bellies tickled by Tottenham Hotspur. Dirk Kuyt put Liverpool ahead before yet another own goal from Jamie Carragher levelled for Spurs. Roman Pavlyuchenko scored the winner in second half injury time.


An unusually quite Premier League Sunday saw Bolton Wanderers pick up a home win against Manchester City. Anthony Gardner broke the deadlock for the Trotters before Richard Dunne, another absolute master of the own goal, sealed with win with another oggy.

Monday's game took place in the North East, that nauseatingly lauded 'hotbed of football'. Newcastle United ran out 2-0 winners against Aston Villa thanks to a double from Obafemi Martins. Joey Barton returned to his usual thuggery with some nasty tackles and an unpunished strike to the face of Gabriel Agbonlahor.

The all-new top four consists of...Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal. Yawn. Villa sit in fifth, while the bottom three is made up by Spurs, West Brom and Bolton. That's more like it.

(Photo Credits: BBC Sport)

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