Life & Times: Eric Cantona

Life & Times is a regular feature detailing the careers and stories of ex-Premier League stars. In the second post of this new monthly piece, the man in question is perhaps the greatest foreign star to grace the League.

During my formative football-supporting years, one man dominated the headlines - good and bad - relentlessly.

He became a Manchester United legend by performing as a creative pivot during their rise to nineties domination before spectacularly falling from grace by launching himself at a Crystal Palace supporter - though it seems he deserved it.

The man was a phenomenal talent, and was and is just a little bit nuts: it’s Eric Cantona.

Cantona had a tempestuous career, and there were eventually but two constants - extraordinary football, and Manchester United. Born in Marseille, he joined Auxerre in the early 1980s. His stint in Burgundy was punctuated by national service, punching a colleague, and his first run-in with the French national team set-up, with Auxerre threatening to refuse to release the player for duty over the length of a suspension.

In 1988, Cantona helped France to the European Under-21 Championships, and moved to his hometown club. More strops followed, resulting in a month’s ban from Marseille, and a year’s from the national team.

Shipped out on loan twice in 1989, Cantona was sold to Nimes by Raymond Goethals. He picked up another month-long ban for throwing the ball at a referee, and gaining another two months for his artistic protest: he individually called each member of the disciplinary committee an “idiot”.

Eric Cantona retired from football in 1991.

The Premier League would not have been the same without Cantona’s u-turn, signing for Leeds United - title winners that season, but with minimal Cantonian input - on the advice of one Gerard Houllier.

He signed for Manchester United in 1992 and English football entered a new era. Cantona’s eccentric ability conquered all, and his side followed suit as they bagged four titles in five years.

During his time at United, Cantona earned the begrudging admiration of many opposition fans, and the total unbreakable hero-worship of the Old Trafford / Surrey faithful. His attitude make him easy to hate, but his tricks, flicks, passing and goals made him difficult not to respect.

It all changed on a bitterly cold night in early 1995. United were away at Selhurst Park, and Crystal Palace defender Richard Shaw found himself with Cantona’s foot clattering the back of his leg. It was a spiteful, petulant kick, and was rightly rewarded with a red card.

We all know what happened next. Cantona was reluctantly escorted towards the tunnel, but was unable to ignore what was later reported to be racist abuse from the crowd. The culprit was Matthew Simmons, and Cantona directed a kung-fu kick at him before the pair exchanged some vicious looking punches.

The United man was roundly condemned, and received community service and an almost unprecedented ban, which lasted until he returned against Liverpool that October.

It turned out that Simmons was a hooligan with suspected involvement with and/or sympathy for the National Front.

Cantona returned and inevitably added more silverware. Fittingly, United was his last club and he retired for a second time in 1997. He was a legendary club player, feuding constantly with individuals employed by the French FA and suffering a fits and starts international career as a result. Aime Jacquet is singled out for special criticism, and Cantona became an England fan.

He was a central figure in the development of beach soccer after he retired, and has carved out a career as an apparently fine actor. He also occasionally pokes his head around the door of advertising, saving his finest role for that of the enigmatic head honcho in Nike’s underground football ads a few years ago.

Eric Cantona was a true great of the English game and this is shown by the personal and collective silverware he has to his name, and the fact that he skippered his club and country at the height of his frightening talent. Goethals, born in 1921, lived to see that. Cantona probably loved it.

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From the Trinity: Villa progress at a cost

Nothing’s ever dull at Villa Park.

For a notorious bunch of moaners like Villa fans, a dodgy summer in the transfer market is sure to spark debate.

Throw in a summer which also features competitive football and every coming and going is analysed relentlessly, as is every movement and word from manager Martin O’Neill.

So what’s been happening?

Inter-two-bob success

Over the last two Saturday evenings, Villa made hard work of disposing of Danish side Odense BK in order to progress to the final qualifying round of the UEFA Cup.

It’s a welcome return to Europe after 392 years since our last outing.

The visit to Denmark for the first leg was abysmal. Villa were lucky to escape with a 2-2 draw having been outclassed for a good 70 minutes of the game.

Big John Carew opened the scoring early on with a thumping close-range volley but things went quickly downhill for Villa. We lost all control of the game and Odense consistently raided down our right wing with a good degree of success.

Thankfully, only one goal resulted: an unfortunate own goal from Steve Sidwell on his competitive Villa debut.

Villa regained a slight foothold towards the end, and our favourite double act capitalised, with Martin Laursen nodding in an Ashley Young free kick. Sadly, a phantom free kick was quickly given at the other end and lapse defending led to an equaliser.

In truth, we were lucky not to lose.

Saturday’s match at Villa Park was again one-sided, this time in our favour. Quality, though, was a rarity. The mood pre-match was superb, the sun was shining and a new signing was announced before kick off.

Early on, a sickening moment - the first time I’ve ever been at a football match and had to whip off my glasses and turn away. By the looks of it, Carew and several Odense players - and the referee - felt the same.

Cult legend Wilfred Bouma fouled an opponent but stayed down. The referee, the opponent (I actually think it was former Villan Eric Djemba-Djemba) and Carew frantically signalled to the bench, and then came the moment I’ll never forget. A screaming Bouma stuck his leg in the air and I instantly felt sick. Let’s just say legs don’t bend that way except for bad injuries or good sex.

Fortunately, the assumption that Freddie had suffered a horrific fracture was dispelled post-match. Unfortunately it turned out to be true after all on Sunday. Best wishes to Wilf for a speedy recovery from a badly dislocated and fractured ankle.

Some bloke replaced him at left back and did well. I won’t name him or acknowledge his existence until he makes a public apology and sacks his agent, but he got a cracking reception which drowned out the booing minority.

Villa had plenty of chances but were a little disjointed (no pun intended), and we were thankful for one moment of absolute genius from Ashley Young.

The little winger picked up the ball on the left, danced inside towards the edge of the box and duly left two defenders for dead. He then unleashed an unstoppable missile into the top corner. Simply stunning.

I’m looking forward to the UEFA Cup draw on Friday.

Brad Jr and Brad Sr

Also on Friday, Villa discover the fate of one of their summer transfers. We moved in January for Chivas USA goalkeeper Brad Guzan, but he was refused a work permit. We’ve now got him on board again, and a second (and, I believe, different) work permit hearing will deliver a verdict on Friday.

I hope it’s positive. I’ve only seen 45 minutes of the lad, but he looked half decent. I also trust the opinion of Shaun Wheelock, the North America expert on BBC’s World Football Phone-In, the masterpiece that it is. The Big Wheel is a Brad fan, and that’s good enough for me. We’ll see him play in the Olympics too.

So that’s Brad Jr, now what of Brad Sr?

Well, Mr Friedel’s move to Villa from Ewood was sealed on Saturday and announced to a few hundred people milling around Villa Park before the Odense match. Brad had a bit of a walk on the pitch with a scarf at half time, and was warmly welcomed. What a bloody brilliant signing.

Welcome two American Brads. Shame we need so many more. Players, that is. I make no distinction by name.

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Quick Hits 27th July 2008

A few bits 'n' bobs from the weekend.

• Villa enter UEFA Cup qualifier draw... (VillaTalk)
• ...and so do Napoli. Hurrah! (Goal.com)
• Desperate Newcastle to give thug Barton a chance (EatSleepSport)
• Usmanov targets Arsenal takeover? (Mirror.co.uk)
• Bosnich plays a blinder. Legend. (Teletext)

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ITV to screen early FA Cup games

Ever wondered what happens in those early FA Cup Qualifying Rounds that crawl across the videprinter on a Saturday afternoon?

The ones where the team names raise a giggle?

This season that will change, and even get a little web 2.0 on us, as many games will be screened online.

A wee bit of disclosure: my contact at ITV is a top man and I am strongly in favour of this move, so I'm happy to plug it.

You're probably aware that ITV has nabbed FA Cup rights, among others, from this season. As part of that, they're committing to the early rounds and filming them. Lovely stuff. Here's the deal:

• ITV Local and ITV.com have teamed up with The FA
• A selection of early round games will be filmed during August, September and October, and highlights shown on the web
• The Extra Preliminary Round kicks off on 16th August
• A frankly massive 762 teams will enter the FA Cup this season

As interesting as all that is, my favourite part of this announcement is that the FA Cup is going social: clubs not covered by the cameras will be able to upload their own videos to a grassroots sports site from ITV Local.

They should call it CupTube! Videos will be shown at http://www.itvlocal.com/facup.

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Quick Hits 25th July 2008

What I've been reading without having written it myself.

• Sage advice from Mike Baptiste (On the Pitch)
• Local journo addresses hoax story at last (Bill Howell)
• The five best signings of the summer (Caught Offside)
• Dyer gets off light (Guardian.co.uk)
• Capello quit confusion (Football365)

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Much ado about roughing

As the new Premier League season approaches, all of its fans have their own wishes.

We have wishes for our club team, wishes for our national team, and personal wishes such as visiting certain grounds, or beating particular teams.

Some of the footballing altruists out there will donate their personal hopes to the beautiful game, preferring to pray to their futbolgod of choice for the evils of the game to be dislodged.

So do we want to get rid of diving? Haranguing referees? The dreaded imaginary yellow card?

Every season Premier League players appear to adopt one nasty habit over and above the aforementioned universal nuisances.

We seem to be subjected to some kind of ‘fad’ system, whereby certain football ills begin occurring in drips, tipping, and becoming - briefly at least - endemic.

Have you ever noticed how one almost never sees one serious elbowing incident in isolation? There always seems to be four or five or, more often, none.

Last season’s fouling fashion (so last season) was our old friend, the legbreaker. Call me deluded, but I’m sure there were more dangerous, over-the-ball two-footed tackles in the Premier League last season than we’ve seen for a while.

Arsenal’s Eduardo da Silva came off worst in nine months of shameful ‘tackles’. Culprits included Peter Crouch, Obi John Mikel, Michael Essien, Ashley Cole - I could go on. And on.

But I think the worst of this bad bunch was Ricardo Carvalho’s assault on Gabriel Agbonlahor during an exciting Boxing Day at Stamford Bridge.

It is my wish that this craze has passed, and next summer we will instead be lamenting something which is an irritation rather than outright violence.

Will the referees be targeting these tackles in particular this season, or will they focus their annual clampdown elsewhere?

What do you want to see eliminated from English football this term?

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Bosteros: Nayar provokes angry reaction at La Bombonera

Europe mines South America for footballing talent. We all know that. But is it right?

There’s not a damn thing that can be done about it, because European football has two things which South American football does not: prestige and cash.

Still, it smarts a bit when it happens - particularly when ridiculously early in a player’s career.

Meet 20-year-old Argentine midfielder Sebastian Nayar. He plays for Recreativo in Spain or, depending on your stance, Boca Juniors.

Here’s the gist: Nayar is a Boca product but, having played just over one hour of senior football for los xeneizes, he upped sticks and negotiated a move to Recreativo Huelva.

Long story short, Nayar has been able to move - so far at least - because, according to Recre, his contract in Buenos Aires is invalid. Soccernet explains why:

“Under AFA [Argentina’s governing body] regulations, when the contract of a player comes to an end, there is an automatic two-year extension with the player receiving a 20% pay rise. However, that rule does not appear in FIFA regulations.”

Boca, understandably, are pretty furious. The big Treble-P, President Pedro Pompilio, has been telling all and sundry quite how pissed off he is. He has repeatedly threatened Recre with ‘action’, namely reporting them to FIFA.

Call me cynical, but I expect FIFA to throw the case out before it gets started. It clearly favours European clubs, and its own rules. The latter is fair enough, I guess.

But there could be a feud brewing between the football associations in Spain and Argentina over the Nayar affair. The AFA is clinging on to Nayar’s registration and has already reportedly approached the Spanish body and requested that they veto the transfer.

Unlikely, suspects this blogger.

Sooner or later, the very best South American players ply their trade in Europe. There are countless regulations concerning this trade, particularly for youngsters.

Clubs in Europe continue to behave like vultures, exploiting loopholes - in this case the gap between AFA and FIFA contract rules - to get their man.

Still, there’s a couple of bits of good news. First, full back Hugo Ibarra has penned a new contract, and he seems pretty happy with himself. I’m delighted too.

Second, the Apertura season will have kicked off by the next time this column is posted. Here’s to Boca getting back among the honours.

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Wider Reading: Some People Are On The Pitch

Sharing is good.

Without sharing, there would be no tearable garlic and cheese bread, peer-to-peer file “swapping” and no...erm…swinging.

In the very same (ish) spirit, here’s another blog I’ve been reading recently. You should take a look if you’ve got some time to kill.

Some People Are On The Pitch

This blog has been around for over two years, and has been mentioned in The Guardian Guide. I bet that was a good feeling.

In a sense, it does what I’d like to do at TwoFootedTackle, namely cover as wide a range of footballing issues as possible, and get a few guest bloggers on board to help with both workload and perspective.

I won’t be bringing a shop or a forum into play anytime soon, but it seems to work for Chris O at SPAOTP, and it’s a blog with enough character and identity to carry it off.

It’s informed, funny, interesting and ever-so-slightly irreverent, and come highly recommended by me, at least.

Keep an eye out for ‘The Friday Lists of Little or No Consequence’, and ‘Investigates…’.

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Soccer Aid 2008 - September 7th, Wembley

News through from ITV this morning that tickets are now on sale for Soccer Aid 2008.

And guess what - I've decided I'm going to go along.

It's a legends and celebrities match at Wembley, with the noble aim of making some much-needed cash for UNICEF. You know, off the Barcelona shirts.

Last time, good-at-everything chef Gordon Ramsay and Robbie Williams faced off as captains in the England v Rest of the World showdown.

With Williams suffering from a knee injury, England's boss - one Harry Redknapp - will have to pick a new skipper to replace the man behind the Soccer Aid concept. Son Jamie must be in with a shot.

Redknapp's opposite number is Kenny Dalglish, and we'll be treated to the footballing genius of Kyran Bracken, Jonathan Wilkes, Jamie Theakston, Gareth Gates and Patrick Kielty (and loads of people I've never heard of), and the moderate celebrity value of Peter Schmeichel and Alan Shearer.

Here's Robbie's take, from aforementioned press release:

"Being able to help so many people through Soccer Aid was one of the true highlights of my life. I’m gutted that this time round my knee isn’t up to it so unfortunately I’m out of the game. But I hope that everyone involved has the time of their life like I did, raises loads of money for UNICEF and that the best side wins.”

ITV has signed up Tim Lovejoy and Louise Redknapp to take to the commentary box, and a couple of little fellas will be hosting. Just like they do with everything else.

Anyone else going along? It's for a great cause (Barcelona shirts!) and it should be a laugh.

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Say NO to COE: Man who used to run still banging on about Team GB

Sebastian Coe is anathema to football. He doesn't understand it.

He's everything the traditional football fan dislikes, oozing toffery and generally just being the kind of smug tit I'd prefer didn't interfere.

Yet interfere he does. And it's never a surprise.

As an England fan, the very idea of hooking up with Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland really doesn't sit well. No disrespect to them, of course. It's just that we're footballing rivals (sod politics, it's irrelevant here). I'm sure they feel the same.

Quite apart from just thinking it's a bloody stupid idea, the associations of the countries expected to join forces with England have to consider that it would threaten their individual status within FIFA. All because the Olympics is coming to "Great Britain". No thanks.

Regardless, why should England be allowed to play, Mr Blatter? Why isn't it Scotland only? Or Wales only? You get the point.

The Welsh, Scottish and Irish FAs have already voiced their opposition, meaning Sepp Blatter may get his wish: the 'Team GB' squad consisting only of English players. Why The FA seemingly want to play along with Coe's nonsense, I'll never know.

So while Blatter should be barring "England" from competing in the Olympics - we shouldn't be bothering, it's as simple as that, for me - Coe has reiterated his desire to appoint Sir Alex Ferguson as Team GB boss at London 2012.

Coe, our sport has rules and regulations, administered by FIFA. Your Olympic issues are of no significance, and you should not be encouraging our associations to fly in the face of football's governing body. Pipe down.

Say NO to COE.

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Quick Hits 19th July 2008

Makes for tasty readin'.

• Why Americans will never embrace football (Athlists)
• Brazil to focus on home comforts (Time)
• Dave Peeps thinks Jordan will stay (Drinking During the Game)
• Traditional coloured suits - agreed! (Off the Pitch)
• Argentine stars with illegal passports? (Argie Bargy)

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Introducing Willenhall Town

I like non-league football. It's kind of earthy and real. It's fun, and it doesn't have the bullshit baggage we have to deal with in modern football.

And you can stand up!

As a result, I was pleased to hear that Unibond League Division One South (got all that) side Willenhall Town is offering a ticket discount upon presentation of an Aston Villa season ticket.

It's a shame I'm too far away to take advantage myself, really. But I hope to see them at some point this season, because I fully endorse this strategy.

Here's an idiot's guide to the club, and I should know because I'm an idiot and I've only been looking into it for the last couple of days:

Willenhall is, unsurprisingly, in the West Midlands, nestling between Wolverhampton and Walsall. That puts it in a footballing minefield, what with Wolves and Walsall being on their doorstep, and West Brom, Villa and Birmingham City not much further afield. There's plenty of non-league action round there too.

The club has historic 'links' to Villa, having been formed in 1953 via the merger of two clubs, one being Aston Road Villa. Well, it's a strong enough link for me.

Their nickname is the Lockmen, and they play at Noose Lane in the town. They are managed by Shaun Cunnington, who played for Grimsby, Sunderland and West Brom.

The Unibond League Division One South is a mere seven levels below the Premier League, and is also inhabited by non-league heavyweight names Shepshed Dynamo and Grantham Town, and the beautifully named Quorn.

I'm looking into working quite closely with Willenhall, because as a Villa fan I feel they're going about their marketing push the right way. Regardless of how I approach it in the future, I'll be keeping an eye on the Lockmen, so stay tuned to find out how they get on in 2008-09.

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Simon Jordan quotes

It looks like the farcical outcome of the John Bostock case has driven Simon Jordan, chairman of Crystal Palace, out of the game.

Jordan should be easy to hate. He's brash, cocky, ugly, and he has a silly barnet.

But I like him, because he is a genuinely honest man, seemingly with morals, who is outspoken enough to both strike a chord and raise a giggle every time he gets in a strop.

And boy, has he had some strops.

From Mirror.co.uk:

1) "What does Everton chairman Bill Kenwright think he will get for £6m? Andy Johnson's trainers?"

2) "Even if I built a 50,000-seater stadium and bought Ronaldinho, there'd still be complaints about crap hotdogs."

3) "In retrospect, of course I regret calling them (Charlton fans) morons. Imbeciles would have been more appropriate."

4) "I'm no respecter of tradition and I have no time for the Manchester Uniteds and Arsenals of this world. There's nothing to admire in these clubs. They're just bullshit worlds full of bullshit people."

5) "If I see another David Gold interview on the poor East End Jewish boy done good I'll impale myself on one of his dildos."

6) "Agents are nasty scum. They're evil and divisive and pointless. They only survive because the rest of the sport is so corrupt and because leading football club people employ their sons in the job."

7) (On suing Iain Dowie) "I would not issue a writ through my lawyers on a point of principle, I will issue it on a point of law because a point of principle is expensive, as Iain will find out." Advertisement

8) (On how he would deal with then Newcastle bad boy Craig Bellamy) "I'd strangle him with his own tongue."

9) (When West Ham beat Man Utd in the first game after Alan Pardew had gone) "If I'd have been him, I'd have gone down the training ground, said ‘thanks lads' and pulled out an AK-47. They hadn't done it for him, but they could beat the champions for Alan Curbishley. F****** unbelievable."

10) At the end of the day, I have a certain hairstyle. Whether I'm too old to carry it off now, I'm not sure. But it's a subject for discussion, and there's only one thing worse than people talking about you - and that's people not talking about you.

Football loses another character.

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The 'generalisation' of football

Uli Hesse-Lichtenberger puts into words the plasticisation of football in August's When Saturday Comes.

He writes of the fan parks in Germany during Euro 2008 and to a lesser extent World Cup 2006, and notes a phenomenon we've all become aware of.

Football is becoming prone to casual (little 'c') fans with a whole fan culture of their own.

"If the nineties saw what was then called the gentrification of the game, I guess we now have to report, at least from Germany, that the age of juvenilisation could be upon us. No, that's too narrow a term. I can still recall that my son and I watched almost every game of the 1998 World Cup together, just the two of us. But...my wife sat next to me as I followed Germany take on Austria, and she was a bag of nerves...And after the final whistle was blown, my parents-in-law called to say how relieved they were that Germany had gone through. It wasn't the first football game they had ever watched, but I'm willing to bet that it was only the third or fourth.

"So let's replace "juvenilisation" by "generalisation". Because if there was someone who didn't watch the games and had something other than football to talk about this June, I have no idea who this person could be."

Now obviously the last part doesn't apply to England, thanks to Steve McClaren's almighty efforts to save us the trouble this summer.

But the wider point remains: more people from more varied backgrounds continue to get into football, and not just in England.

Traditionalists will be totally disapproving.

Do we want girls screaming over Beckham or Podolski (mentioned by Hesse-Lichtenberger, honest) while we're watching our national side play? Do we want previously uninterested members of the middle class painted their faces red and white and asking questions during the match?

I'll keep my opinion to myself, but what do you guys think of the 'generalisation' of football?

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Olympic trials: just another tournament without England?

Okay, so that’s a bit glib and not very funny, but you get my point.

The Olympic Games are rocking up on 8th August, or 08.08.08 as the BBC keeps reminding us, and will include the small matter of a football competition.

What’s the deal? Well, it’s four groups of four and each of the 16 competing nations takes a squad of 18.

The catch, in a nutshell, is that 15 of that 18 must be 23 or younger, give or take. I guess the idea is to keep Olympic football as ‘amateur’ as possible, though how amateurish a 23-year-old international footballer is remains open to debate.

You will have noticed that there is no Team GB interest in said tournament, and there’s a very good reason for that: there is no Great Britain football team. Neither, in my opinion, should there be, even for the Olympics.

It’s all academic, really, because FIFA historically have absolutely no interest in allowing a British team to enter the Olympics while continuing to sanction devolved home nations teams. Hear hear.

Ergo, no England in Beijing. And what a wonderful relief.

You see, we’re avoiding a whole bunch of politics which infect club v country ‘relations’ for the participant nations. This is simply because clubs are reluctant to release their stars for an international tournament during the football season.

For some of the bigger countries competing in this summer’s Games, the intricacies of picking those vital three over-agers must be testing.

Olympic football is seen as a bit of a peripheral to the world’s favourite game, but it does have a bit of spice to it for one reason and one reason alone: it’s the only competition to never have been won by Brazil.

When the traditional standard-bearers of the world game take it seriously, others tend to raise their game. As the BBC’s deity-esque South American football tsar Tim Vickery would confirm, Brazil take it very seriously.

Add in the fact that Argentina would literally saw their toes off with a spoon before allowing Brazil to win the Olympics, and factor in that Argentina are reigning champions, and suddenly it doesn’t seem such a joke.

It is a bit of a joke, though, and there’s no escaping it. Why? Because these players are employees of clubs which have domestic considerations at hand.

Werder Bremen’s Diego fits in the age range, but Werder still don’t want to release him.

Perhaps it would be better to simply ban over-23s altogether. The likes of Riquelme, Mascherano, Burdisso, Ronaldinho, Robinho and Thiago Silva frankly should not be going to Beijing.

If - and I mean if - the Olympics really does need a football competition, the boundaries need to be moved. At worst, the ‘ringers’ should be abolished.

Perhaps even only domestically-based under-23 players should be allowed to compete?

That way we’d kill two birds with one stone. The Olympics would cease to be such a complete nonsense, and European clubs would stop sticking their oar in after snaffling youngsters from the rest of the world for pennies.

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BBC exposes Nigerian conmen

The fella on the left is budding Nigerian footballer Isaiah Akpan, wearing a Chelsea shirt and dreaming of the Premier League.

Akpan is 18 years old, and was duped by a conman into handing over all his money and travelling to Accra, Ghana, on the promise of a contract in England.

Needless to say, the 'agent' in question simply did a runner.

Akpan was left, stranded and alone, in a foreign country with shattered dreams and, no doubt, a twisted view of his fellow man.

His case was unearthed by BBC (from whom the picture has been thieved, credit where it's due) reporter Gavin Lee, as part of his investigation into one of world football's most poisonous evils.

I stumbled across this on BBC Breakfast this morning. Lee's investigation is now chronicled for all eternity here and here, and an audio documentary aired on Victoria Derbyshire's show on Five Live. I've not heard it yet, but I'll keep looking out for it.

In short, thousands of African kids post their details online in an attempt at the big time. Pouncing on this, these gangs of scammers contact them claiming to represent the likes of Manchester United (see video at first link above - says it all really).

They take cash, produce fake documents...and then they scarper. There's nothing sophisticated about it, just a thin membrane of lies and the will to ruin lives.

As with any matter concerning ambition, some of these lads are just ready to be scammed. Then the agents just walk away.

Much respect to the BBC and to Gavin Lee for delving into part of the seedy underbelly of the football con. I'm sure there's plenty more to be done, and even more shocking dealings going on. We already know about African footballer trafficking, for example.

But it's a start, and the FA has acted:

"The FA investigated the complaints and passed on our findings to the relevant law enforcement agencies, whom we continue to liaise with and assist in relation to these matters."

Football is a global business breeding global greed. But every little helps.

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Farewell Mossy: Bournemouth 'keeper forced into retirement

Very sad news from Dean Court today, as goalkeeper Neil Moss announced his untimely retirement from football.

Mossy is a real hero down in Bournemouth in my opinion, being a home grown talent.

He was educated at Twynham School in Christchurch, which also produced fellow Barton-on-Sea boy, one Jamie Redknapp.

It seems like Neil's been around forever, first cropping up in 1993 having come throught the club's YTS scheme. A brief adventure with Southampton was punctuated by a loan spell at Gillingham, before he moved back to Bournemouth, eventually making a loan move permanent.

Neil Moss is an AFC Bournemouth fan, a bloody good goalkeeper - easily worthy of a starting place in a Championship side in my view - and a top man. As a kid (we're talking Mossy's first spell at Bournemouth, here) I went to a Christmas party at the club, and Neil was by far the most talkative, engaging player - and the one most generous with his time for a bunch of young fans.

Sadly, he feels that he still has his best goalkeeping ahead of him. Unfortunate in the extreme, then, that a broken wrist has forced him out of football.

All the best for the future, Mossy. I'm not a Bournemouth fan, but I'm a very fond follower of the side and you've been a great player in a devastating period. That's the stuff heroes are made of.

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Can United and Villa strike a blow for footballing good?

Every transfer window has a saga.

In recent years we've had epic transfer tussles involving the likes of David Beckham, Ashley Cole, Craig Bellamy and Michael Owen.

There's countless others, of course, but those are the ones that stick in my mind as being particularly snooze-inducing.

This summer could be different. Why? First, there are two nauseating stories weaving themselves through the fabric of the transfer window.

Second, those two stories could well be happening to two clubs with the inclination to stick two fingers up at player power.

Saga number 1: Cristiano Ronaldo. The winger, scorer of 367 league goals last season, and winner of both Premier League and Champions League, appears to want out of Manchester United.

Saga number 2: Gareth Barry. The former Aston Villa captain, approaching his testimonial (now shelved, understandably) has had his head turned by the media-based tapping up of Fat Rafael and Steven "Stevie G" Gerrard, the diving, moaning, cheating hypocrite.

Both of these players have conducted themselves poorly, but for each there is a case for the defence.

Ronaldo has historically made no secret of his desire to play for Real Madrid one day. It's a dream he's had forever, and we all knew about it.

Gareth Barry, given his newly found England status (earned thanks to Martin O'Neill, but that's another story), is drawn by the idea of Champions League football. Clearly he's not willing to wait for it.

The ins and outs of these transfers - whether they happen or not - have been done to death. Everybody knows every detail.

But the fascinating point, and to an extent the point responsible for the longevity of the transfers of these two players, is that Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo, Liverpool and Gareth Barry, have learned something: without wishing to put too fine a point on it, you don't f**k with Sir Alex Ferguson or Martin O'Neill.

Don't get me wrong, both players will get their moves. But their employers - United don't want to sell at all, Villa have their price and will not budge on it - have happily stated that they will let the players rot.

How refreshing is that?

Player power will never die, but every club willing and able to afford to give it a bloody nose is fighting the good fight. All this 'modern slave' nonsense is just that: nonsense.

Football players are ridiculously highly paid and can be selective about the contracts they sign. Quite frankly, once they've signed that contract they should do as they're damn well told in all situations. God knows they're compensated well enough.

Loyalty is dead. Thank god for clubs fighting back.

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Quick Hits 13th July 2008

Interesting things I've read this weekend.

• New T90 kit from Nike (Soccer Boots Blog)
• Soccer Dad on U-8s ban (On The Pitch)
• Not so hot on Guthrie (Eat Sleep Drink Toon)
• Guzan heading to B6 (BBC Sport)
• Shevchenko to Sampdoria? (Football365)

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FA takes a step in the right direction with under-8s ban

A couple of weeks ago, the Football Association made more progress in its ongoing quest to improve grassroots football.

It'd been making the right noises already, with the Respect campaign addressing many of the salient issues.

Their latest strategy is a big one, and I am fully in support.

It's rather disturbing how often I've declared my support for The FA recently.

In banning competitive football for children under the age of eight, the FA is acting on advice from all quarters concerning the value of the existing approach, i.e. there isn't any.

From reading around the topic a little bit since the announcement back at the end of June, it seems to me that it has met with a generally quite positive reception. That in itself is an encouraging sign.

There have, of course, been critics. Change is scary, and we English are infused with a footballing arrogance which is bizarre given that, with Spain snaring Euro 2008, we are now the world's favourite non-achieving football giant.

So what are the gripes?

It can be argued that playing competitive football from an early age gives children a fully rounded understanding of the game. In truth, this makes a lot of sense. Kids don't learn the 'between the lines' parts of football until they play in a match situation, and even then it doesn't necessarily come until the result matters.

By 'between the lines', I mean everything other than those aspects of the sport which would be obvious to a novice, such as shooting, passing and tackling. They're about technique, and can be practised outside competitive football.

But there are skills which are adequately learned only in the game situation: marking, positioning, tracking back, being verbal. The list is endless.

Sadly, however, starting kids so early clearly hasn't worked. We know that there are fewer English players starting Premier League games (even disregarding the BBC's misleading graphical representation of the fact). The less said about the national team the better. In short, English football is in a state, and accepted wisdom simply must be sacrificed.

The same fact negates another otherwise valid - if a little macho - argument: playing competitive football installs in children a desire to win. That's a huge asset in a footballer but, again, it just isn't working for English football.

The benefits of scrapping competitive football for under-8s are plentiful, as are the arguments in favour.

Firstly, it means that 6- and 7-year-old children are not subjected to that most cancerous of footballing evils, the over-competitive abusive parent. It's been the subject of a growing discourse in the world of youth football, and is clearly problematic. Young players don't like it, and it will become a big strand of Respect as the campaign develops. This is one that should be tackled at all youth football age groups.

No abuse, no pressure and no result means no stress. That is surely a good thing, at least at such an early age. The kids will hopefully be free to develop technically without having to 'win'.

It also - and bear with me here - gives the children a chance to develop all of the aforementioned positional non-specific skills, and identify which of those skills they learn best. Quite possibly, this could lead to a more organic selection of their eventual long-term position. Makes a change from sticking the big kid up front and the fat one at left back, no? They'd be able to concentrate on technique, too, and that can only be positive.

Finally, I'll return to the central point: we have to change our approach. It isn't working, and every great footballing dynasty throughout history has got youth football right. The Dutch are the masters, as evidenced by Total Football, and Ajax are absolutely top of the tree in the eyes of many. The hugely successful South Americans achieve what they do because kids practice technique outside competitive football.

Viva la revolution.

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Quick Hits 10th July 2008

Read them. Seriously.

• RVDV off to Real? (World Cup Blog)
• Battle for the Cherries (Bournemouth Daily Echo)
• Blatter: Ronaldo is 'modern slave' (Football365.com)
• Man Utd: no he's not (Sporting Life)
• Dossena talks shite (Goal.com)

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Digital idiocy

Life's not easy when you're Crystal Palace boss Neil 'Colin' Warnock.

You have to deal with a lot: being almost universally hated by football 'people' and supporters alike, being relegated because the Premier League is spineless, working with pikeys like Clinton Morrison.

But every now and again, even Colin gets a laugh. I'm pleased to confirm that I laughed heartily at this story as much as Colin probably is now it's all over.

Not so funny a couple of days ago though, I bet.

Palace winger Ashley-Paul Robinson, aged 18, discovered over the weekend that people actually look at social networking sites. What he will know acutely now is that they also read national newspapers. Even if said papers do over-react. Millions?! Nobody's that interested.

You see, Idiot 2.0 Robinson was due to travel to Bath for some kind of trial with Premier League survival heroes Fulham. If you're one of Facebook's 2.7 million London Network users, you could've found that out for yourself, as silly Robbo changed his status on the site to:

"Ashley-Paul is travling 2 Bath With Fulham Fingers Crossed. (Im lukin 2 Get Sum Tips Of Jimmy Bullard He's ON DIS TING NO HYPE LOL !!!)"

Of course, he'd struggle to find 2.7 people interested in him outside his Facebook friends, let alone 2.7 million. The point is, though, that APR basically spunked his personal doings in public. In football, as in business, it's often best to keep your gob shut.

With that, his possible transfer leaked, and Ashley-Paul Robinson was, for a day, as famous as Cristiano Ronaldo. Sort of. And he knows it:

"Ashley-Paul has been very naughty lol!"

Those words are set to go down in Football 2.0 history as cult utterings. There is already one belting Facebook Group dedicated to this footballing faux-pas, and what is generally being labelled as Facebook's first football transfer leak. Click here for the Facebook group "[Your name here] has been very naughty lol!"

I especially approve of the ironic use of 'lol', the world's most ridiculously stupid piece of language.

He'd better hope Fulham want him, because Warnock doesn't. Chuckle. Incidentally, it doesn't look like he's changed his privacy settings. Ashley-Paul iz an idiot lolz.

It's not the first example of football-related digital idiocy. There's probably been many, but one that sticks in my mind as a Villa fan is the hilarious story of Barry Bannan, another young player with no idea that certain types of social media are readable, searchable and trackable by the outside world.

Bannan's MySpace page was equally incriminating, speaking mockingly (and, tellingly, in that retarded mixture of street and txt spk that thick kids use today lololololol) of his employer, culminating in his declaration that Aston Villa Football Club can be collectively described as 'choinks'. Very respectful.

The moral of the story? If you know your boss will kick you in the balls for saying something, don't say it. Even on 'teh internetz'. We can see it.

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Quick Hits 7th July 2008

Fussball-munchies:

• Barca end interest in Arshavin (Setanta)
• Lazio spending spree continues (Goal.com)
• Fat Frank's future (Who Ate All The Pies)
• Crouchinho coast-bound (Guardian.co.uk)
• Kewell defends Turkey switch (Sky Sports)

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Quick Hits: 6th July 2008

Interesting reads from around the football web.

• Paul Wilson on European Championships Finals expansion (The Observer)
• Amauri Brazilian after all? (Off the Pitch)
• Chelsea bid for Kaka. Since denied (BBC Sport)
• Bin Laden relatives in for Newcastle United (Fascist Morning Star)
• Inter haven't bid for Quaresma (Football Italia)

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Wider Reading: Soccer Boots Blog

Every two weeks, I'll be introducing a different blog I've been reading.

Well, that's what the blogosphere is about - individual growing networks of knowledge.

I wouldn't want people to read my blog and only my blog, and I'm a keen reader of blogs elsewhere.

So in the true spirit of blogatry, here is the first post in the Wider Reading series, and my first official TFT approved blog.

Better get the guilty pleasure out of the way first, I think. It's just like Alcoholics Anonymous: my name is Chris, and I read about football boots.

Soccer Boots Blog

Football, as any other subject, has levels of interest. There's the casual follower, the dedicated follower and the obsessive (it's simplistic, granted, by you get the point). Somewhere in the obsessive group is 'geek', and, sadly, that's where I reside. I watch games, but I also like to read about things like...gulp...boots.

Fortunately, Soccer Boots Blog caters for people like me (and probably relevant professionals, too). It's much better than it sounds, and more accessible too. It carries all the latest boot-related news, as you might expect, but also relates it back to players.

It is very technical, and fascinating as a result. These boot manufacturers do all sorts of cool things with their kit, y'see. Some fans see them as unnecessary (sweet spots, blades, different leathers etc), but they're interesting none the less.

Personally, it's an interest which dates back to watching a video about Craig Johnston developing Adidas Predator by lashing a ball at a wall and modifying the shape of the boot to improve the accuracy of movement of the ball.

Importantly, Soccer Boots Blog doesn't just PR the crap out of a bunch of boots as they're launched. It also looks at technique, and that is so very, very central to injury prevention and a young player's technical development. We all know that's topical right now, what with England not developing its kids properly and all. The blog even throws in a bit of footy news for good measure every now and again. Lovely stuff.

Well worth a read if you're interested in football equipment, technique development, science etc. Enjoy.

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Quick Hits: 4th July 2008

Bits and pieces I've read while sitting on my arse in the sun (well, indoors) all day.

• Argentina prepare to defend Olympic title (Argie Bargy)
• Phil McNulty on Barry (Gareth, not Evans) saga (BBC Sport)
• Sharing the Tweedy love (harsh about Nigella though) (Sniffing the Touchline)
• Ahmed Bilal thinks Newcastle takeover will take time (Soccerlens)
• Platini inspects Euro 2012 host countries (The Offside)

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Life & Times: Adrian Mutu

Life & Times is a regular feature detailing the careers and stories of ex-Premier League stars. In the first installment of this new monthly piece, I look at a player who could realistically claim to have had the most disastrous Premier League stint in its entire 17-year existence.

When I think back to nineties Romanian international football, I am treated to memories of Popescu, Petrescu and Raducioiu.

But the team was controlled and inspired by the legendary Gheorghe Hagi, and Hagi is the only man who is, in terms of skill and ability, a fitting predecessor to this month's Life & Times subject: Adrian Mutu.

Mutu is one of a kind. Having worked up a reputation as a playboy as he climbed the ladder in Italian football, he was snapped up by the newly flush Chelsea. What followed was a tragic act of stupidity which very nearly ended the most promising Romanian career since Hagi.

Born in Calinesti in Romania's Arges County, striker Mutu's career kicked off in 1997 with Romania side FC Arges Pitesti. A successful spell led to a big money move to Dinamo Bucharest. His goal record in Bucharest helped them to a championship win, and attracted the attention of Milanese giants Internazionale.

By now an international player, the San Siro move was Mutu's first career anti-climax, failing to score in just ten matches for the Nerazzurri, and he was loaned and then sold to Verona. The goals slowly returned as Mutu's reputation on and off the pitch went off the scale. In 2002 Parma beckoned, and the Romanian continued to regularly hit the back of the net.

Meanwhile in London, Chelsea had changed beyond all recognition from just years earlier, and were buying up some supreme talents with the money of Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich. Mutu caught the eye of experienced Italian boss Claudio Ranieri, and Chelsea made him the most expensive Romanian footballer of all time.

Cue chaos. A blistering start at the head of the Stamford Bridge attack did not continue, and Mutu quickly fell into the role of 'struggling quality foreign striker in England', like countless before him and many since.

After those early goals, Mutu's stay in England was simply catastrophic, and would have ended the career of a weaker man. As Andriy Shevchenko and Mateja Kezman will testify, Ranieri's replacement Jose Mourinho doesn't suffer non-scoring strikers gladly. With Mutu's image gaining momentum and his increasing propensity for spending one hour too many on the town with one woman too many on his arm, Mourinho and Mutu fell out.

In that situation, there's only one winner. But it came as a surprise to many that Mutu would make it so easy for Mourinho to ship him out. In October 2004, Adrian Mutu was sacked by Chelsea Football Club. He had failed a drug test, admitting to taking cocaine, and was banned from football for seven months. The Premier League never saw him again, and his poor performances in West London, combined with the ban, meant that many assumed his career - or at least the best of it - was over.

To his eternal credit, and the credit of Juventus, Adrian Mutu bounced back in style and rebuilt his Serie A career. With five months left of Mutu's ban, the Old Lady took a chance on him and welcomed him to their training complex and subsequently signed him. In the 2005/06 season he did well for Juve in several league appearances and a handful of games in the Champions League.

Calciopoli led to Mutu's departure from Stadio Delle Alpi, signing for a resurgent Fiorentina side and linking up with Luca Toni. The two struck up a prolific partnership for the Viola, earning the Italian a move to Bayern Munich and cementing Mutu's return to form. His second season at the Artemio Franchi was even better. He has developed a penchant for coming inside from the wing, and the old Adrian Mutu appears to have returned.

The most recent action of an impressive international career (Romania have lost only one game in which Mutu has scored) was to score the country's only goal of Euro 2008 past former colleague Gigi Buffon - and then to have a decisive penalty saved by the iconic goalkeeper.

But it was for off-the-field reasons that Mutu hit the headlines again this summer. He was ordered by the courts to pay Chelsea a frankly massive £9.6m as compensation for the transfer fee they paid for him way back when. I don't care how rich you are, that is one hell of a wedge. An appeal is pending.

So that's the story so far. I am a very big fan of Adrian Mutu. He has made mistakes, including one colossal one, but he has battled away and rebuilt his career at a club (Fiorentina) for which I have a bizarre unexplained fondness. Indiscretions notwithstanding, I think Mutu is a wonderful talent, and I wish him nothing but success. In a way it's a shame he didn't show it consistently in England.

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Quick Hits: 2nd July 2008

You might spot a theme here:

• Gareth Barry is the classless player we all thought he wasn't (The Offside)
• Gareth Barry banned from training (The Independent)
• Gareth Barry even criticised for lacking class by Chelsea fans (Vital Chelsea)
• Gareth Barry signing questioned by Liverpool fans (Football 365)
• Gareth Barry not popular with Tom Evans from Ware (Football 365)

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From the Trinity: "Splinters" struggles to engineer his move

Why Splinters? Because he'll be spending the rest of his career pulling them out of his arse cheeks after all that time sitting on the Liverpool bench.

Sadly, this month's From the Trinity was probably always destined to be another anti-Barry rant.

The Aston Villa 'captain' has ensured this is the case with desperate comments to the press after numerous more subtle attempts at engineering a transfer failed.

Let's rewind.

Roughly two years ago, Gareth Barry wanted to leave Aston Villa, a club riddled with incompetence and showing no ambition whatsoever under the ownership of Doug Ellis and the (snigger) management of David O'Leary. He was most likely on his way to Portsmouth, that much heralded bastion of footballing glamour. You might know it as the Highbury Graveyard.

Barry's international career was dead in the water. Again.

No Villa fan begrudged him this move, because we all knew the club was up shit creek with a pug-nosed imbecile hogging the rudder.

Randy Lerner came in, and brought with him Martin O'Neill (though he was technically appointed by the outgoing chairman). Gareth Barry, whether he likes it or not, owes one hell of a lot to O'Neill.

Martin's early actions included persuading the skipper to stay at Villa Park, with a huge pay rise which was celebrated by Barry with a new car. The fans breathed a sigh of relief, and prepared for the New Villa to be built around a growing legend. Barry eventually played himself into the England side, where he made himself undroppable - he leapt past Michael Carrick, Owen Hargreaves and even Frank Lampard in the pecking order.

It was, in large part, down to his manager. And it was all going swimmingly, until Barry was tapped up by one of football's nastiest characters, Steven Gerrard. His head turned, and that was that. Ever since then, Barry has been trying to manufacture a transfer without handing in a request, and it's frankly an absolute f*cking disgrace.

Liverpool Football Club and fat Spanish waiter Rafael Benitez leaked their interest through some local Scouse rag to get the ball rolling. Barry put in a truly vomit-inducing performance against Wigan, possibly costing Villa a place in Europe. The response from Villa? Meet our valuation, or shut up.

Steven Gerrard then weighed in and openly told the press that he wanted Liverpool to sign Splinters. The response from Villa? Meet our valuation, or shut up.

Next to step up to the plate was Aston Villa's ex-Liverpool midfielder, Patrik Berger. Berger had spent more time on the Villa treatment table than on the pitch - all the while taking his wages, of course. Berger told Barry he'd be mad to stay at Villa if Liverpool came knocking. The response from Villa? Liverpool were told to meet their valuation, or shut up. Patrik Berger was immediately dismissed, and received vicious abuse from Villa fans at West Ham on the finaly day.

With Villa still not buckling, the biggest scumbag in football, David Platt, threw his considerable weight behind Barry's secret campaign. The response from Villa? None, because the day David Platt's opinion means anything to Villa is the day the football club goes out of business. What a prick.

Over the last few weeks, Barry's agent, certain parties involved with Liverpool Football Club and one or two ex-Villa players (including Mark Delaney, reportedly doing his coaching badges at the club after spending literally years receiving money and treatment and putting NOTHING back into the club - let's hope O'Neill kicks his greedy arse out of the club too) have been cranking up the pressure on Villa.

The response? We are NOT giving permission for our captain to talk to another club until they've met OUR valuation. Not what Barry, desperate for the cash and alleged prestige of a move to the 2008 Capital of Exaggerated Mourning, wants to hear.

The greedy, overweight, deluded former Villa hero hammered another nail into his reputation's coffin by interrupting a holiday to spill his guts (as if he's got any) to a national red-top newspaper. Clearly his dishonesty and conspiring has not yet worked to date, so the only thing left was to tell the press he wants to move, and slag off the manager who resurrected his career. Classy, Gareth. Very classy.

It makes you wonder, though, doesn't it? If this is all about the Champions League and a shot in the mouth from Gerrard, why not just hand in a transfer request? Perchance because Barry would be forgoing a pay-off from Villa? Disgraceful.

So Barry, just make an official request, forget the idea of getting another penny out of us, and f*ck off. You will be hated forever more, and you deserve every bit of it. Enjoy your Splinters.

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...and justice for all?

It is impossible to capture in words the dismay I feel at Spain's Euro 2008 victory on Sunday.

It is not a sadness based on football. On balance, Spain were deserving winners. They were particularly impressive in the semis against Russia, and dominated Germany in the final.

My mood is not even a result of the fact that I hold our very own little bit of Spain, Liverpool Football Club, in nothing but utter, utter contempt.

It's far more basic: I am appalled that life allows a nasty, disgusting old bigot like Luis Aragones to succeed. After his despicable comments a few years ago, the fates have allowed Aragones to get away with a pitiful fine, and a European Championships winner's medal.

Whoever first said that life was unfair has hit the mother load with this one.

Anyway, Spain ran out (sadly for me) deserving winners after what can only be described as a top-notch tournament. Special mentions too for Germany, who battled their way to the final despite plainly not being good enough, and for Turkey. Fatih Terim's men lit up the tournament, and, amazingly, forced their way into the hearts of many English viewers.

England's absence was, in my opinion, a godsend. No pressure, just great football with lots of excitement and no shortage of memorable entertainment.

Just such an absolute shame that Spain ended their tournament curse with a man like Aragones at the helm.

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