Win a family ticket to the FA Cup Final

Thursday, 30 April 2009

The FA Cup Final is fast approaching and the lovely folks at The Guardian got in touch this afternoon to ask for a helping hand in promoting their latest top-notch football competition. Being a big fat lefty and a lover of Guardian Football, I'm more than happy to help.

In The Guardian this Saturday, you'll find a competition which sees the winner pick up a handy family ticket for the FA Cup Final and replica Chelsea shirts and official match programmes, you know, for the kids.

And the children will also be Chelsea mascots for the day. That's FA Cup Final day, and that's not a bad deal if you ask me.

So pick up your copy of The Guardian this Saturday and get your family's FA Cup Final ticket. The details of the competition are top secret at the moment, so you'll have to go bother your newsagent. Merci beaucoup to The Guardian for the tip.

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Who wants Michael Owen?

Only a fool would write off Newcastle United's chances of Premier League survival at this stage, given that they're certain to bag three points from a trip to Aston Villa on the final day. But whichever side of that dreaded dotted line Newcastle finish on, one thing's for sure: Michael Owen's off.

The 29-year-old striker has had a strange career. He started young, but his progression from Liverpool, through a prolific but unsuccessful spell at Real Madrid, to Newcastle, has been punctuated by injury problems and extracurricular difficulties.

Given his injury problems, it's difficult to think of clubs who'd take the risk on him. But there will be a few sniffing around, particularly if Newcastle fail to avoid the drop. Give or take some recovery time, Michael Owen scores when Michael Owen plays. I can think of more than a handful of sides that need that kind of firepower.

The issues many of those clubs would have are obvious: Owen is a thoroughly unlikeable character (check out his competitive streak) who would cost a bundle and demand wages far in excess of the value gained from his few playing minutes. Sadly for Owen, the only club that signs players like that is Newcastle United, and I doubt he'll be moving there anytime soon.

So which clubs might fancy a bit of the Babyfaced Assassin?

Far be it from me to start close to home, but I wouldn't be surprised if Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill had a word. With Gabriel Agbonlahor still prone to lengthy barren spells and John Carew increasingly struggling with injury, Villa need goals from somewhere. Even with Carew and Agbonlahor fit, Villa's downfall in the final third is that they're not clinical enough. Owen is a goalscorer. He plays well with Emile Heskey, too.

I've also heard tell of a move to Merseyside, and in my opinion both Liverpool and Everton might have a look. Mad Rafa has been known to make strange sentimental signings, none more baffling than Robbie Fowler. But Tricky Mickey might just be a decent foil for the brilliant Fernando Torres, taking the burden away from Steven Gerrard. That said, if Liverpool are to be in a title battle again next term, they'll need better than Owen.

Everton's striking problems have been well documented this season. Injuries to Louis Saha, Victor Anichebe, Yakubu and James Vaughan are unlikely to go unrepeated, and David Moyes could do worse than getting rid of Saha and the promising-but-prone Vaughan and bringing in childhood Toffee Owen to play with Anichebe or Yakubu. That's assuming, of course, Everton don't find the cash to purchase Jo.

I would imagine that Manchester City will be sniffing around and, judging by (my impression of) Owen's motivations, would be his first choice. However, if City are to spend the kind of money Owen would demand, they'd be better off chucking £80m away on someone younger, fitter and better. And they'll know that.

And finally, here's a wildcard: Tottenham Hotspur. It might sound unlikely given Spurs' wealth of maybe-maybenot strikers, but you can never put anything past Harry Redknapp. Harry's [removed by our lawyers] means he likes a transfer or two, but there are footballing reasons too. Redknapp likes to mix speculative foreign signings with experienced players and Owen fits the bill. I also suspect Redknapp might want rid of Darren Bent, who will need replacing.

Owen probably thinks he'll be getting a move to a top four club, but he won't. He's not good enough anymore, and they won't be willing to pay big money for him. Methinks Mr Owen's going to have to swallow his pride.

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twofootedtackle podcast Episode 6

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

It's Wednesday, and that can mean only one thing: the puntastic and amateurish charm of the twofootedtackle football podcast! Hurrah!

Gary Andrews and I were joined in the studio this week by the Metro's Tom Phillips, aka @flashboy, to shoot the breeze on the (occasionally) important football issues. Tom's a Nottingham Forest fan, so we focused on the Championship's top and bottom.

On the show this week: Southampton are relegated from the Championship, Manchester United are in the Premier League driving seat, Nottingham Forest and AFC Bournemouth are safe and Burton and Wimbledon finally secure promotion.

We also discuss Steve McClaren and the Eredivisie, come up with some rather amusing song-based football puns, and Gary and I debate the benefits for Newcastle United of their possible relegation from the top flight. I won the vote in the studio, having gone against the motion, but you can vote below. Please (please!) do.

twofootedtackle podcast Episode 6 is now available on iTunes. Just search for twofootedpodcast.

Alternatively, you'll find the MP3 directly by clicking here.

The blog posts we discussed this week were from Scaryduck and Match Fit USA, so thanks to those guys for providing fertile content.

Don't forget to come and join us on Facebook. We'd encourage you to continue with your musical football puns, and join in The Great Pie Debate. But you can also leave us messages, share the page with your friends (please!) and start your own topics. We'd be more than grateful if you did so.

Enjoy this week's show, feedback welcome below or on Facebook.

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The redemption of Frank Lampard

Monday, 27 April 2009

I used to hate Frank Lampard. There, I said it. I thought he was a smarmy bastard and that he was thoroughly over-rated. I thought his attitude stank, and I just flat out didn't like the guy. But the more my view on the guy softens, the more I think he's just been caught up in the reflection of my hatred for John Terry. And Harry Redknapp. That, you'll be pleased to know, remains intact.

A few years ago Lampard put paid to any idea that he was over-rated, and I like to think I've not suggested it for a long time. In my opinion, he's developed into one of the very best midfielders in the world, if not the best. He's a very clever passer of the ball and a fantastic goalscorer. And you know what - he doesn't seem like half the tosser I thought he was.

Being a football fan, I've never felt the need to retract my previous views on this particular player (which were that he exists only to irritate me and wax John Terry's chest). But Lampard's had a hard time in the last couple of weeks and I'd like to speak out in his support.

Frank Lampard's exclusion from the PFA Player of the Year shortlist of six is nothing short of laughable, even disgraceful. He's been good enough this season to make a shortlist of two with Steven Gerrard, probably good enough to edge Gerrard out of the prize. Instead, Ryan Giggs won the award ahead of four Manchester United colleagues, despite having started just 12 Premier League matches this season.

He's also suffered off the field. Now I'm not one to buy into footballers' sob stories generally, because they're paid enough to bloody well suck it up. But Lampard seems like a decent enough guy, and I wouldn't wish his worries on anyone, no matter how rich they are. Apart from John Terry and the entire Birmingham City squad - but you get the point.

As you'll know, Lampard's mother Pat passed away this time last year, sparking an emotional celebration when he scored a penalty in the Champions League. And regardless of the circumstances surrounding the break-up of his young family, he should be allowed to go about the healing process in peace.

At this point, I'd like to draw a distinction between football supporters and broadcasters. Fans are likely to be abusive, and to a certain extent that's to be expected because of the chasm between 'us' and 'them'. But broadcasters, journalists and even two-bit piss-pot bloggers like myself need to be bloody careful what we say.

The difference is that when we say things, we're not talking about an untouchable superstar. We're talking about a person who just might hear us.

And believe it or not, footballers have feelings too.

Radio station LBC seems to have developed a habit of pissing people off of late, and presenter James O'Brien thought it wise to slag Lampard off on his show. Lampard heard it and called in. O'Brien's pathetic backtracking does little to hide the fact that he thought he was talking about a faceless entity, but in reality he upset a guy.

And it was Lampard's reaction to this which finally moved him into my good books (yes, I know he wouldn't care - and rightly so). The more I hear about him or from him, the more Lampard seems like a good guy. He and Terry are day and night, to my mind.

Yes, Lampard has an arrogant streak, but that's only to be expected in this day and age. But he seems to have cut down on the posturing, dropped the attitude, got his head down and worked bloody hard at getting even better than he was.

I suppose the fact that he's going through a 'real life' difficulty is something with which supporters can emphasise, but I'll tell you something: I'd never have gone for a pint with Lampard two years a go. Now I'd even consider buying it for him, and not out of pity.

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Weekend roundup

On another thrilling weekend of English football, promotions and relegations were confirmed and Manchester United took a huge step towards Premier League glory. Here's what happened around the leagues.

Premier League


At half time at Old Trafford on Saturday evening, Liverpool were firmly in charge of the title race. Mad Rafa's side had beaten Hull City 3-1 earlier in the day, and Manchester United were 2-0 down to Tottenham Hotspur. A shocking decision from Howard Webb gave United a penalty after the break, and they went on to win 5-2.

At the bottom, West Bromwich Albion's thumping of Sunderland put the Black Cats right back in trouble, while Hull's defeat to Liverpool left them treading water just above the drop zone. They were helped by Arsenal's 2-0 win over Middlesbrough yesterday, which sees Boro stay in the bottom three. Newcastle United and Portsmouth play this evening. Blackburn Rovers are nearly safe after beating Wigan Athletic.

Chelsea kept themselves ahead of Arsenal with a win at West Ham United, while Aston Villa increased their lead over Everton despite only drawing at Bolton Wanderers. Everton slumped to a 2-1 home defeat by Manchester City, only their second away win of the season.

Championship


The late game on Saturday saw Birmingham City fail to win promotion to the Premier League. City required only one win from their last two games to secure automatic promotion, but choked at home to allow Preston North End to win 2-1 after going behind to keep their playoff hopes alive. Cardiff City went down 3-0 at home to Roy Keane's Ipswich Town and Burnley drew at Southampton (Southampton therefore relegated regardless of their points deduction).

Promoted Wolverhampton Wanderers drew at Barnsley to keep things interesting at the bottom. With Charlton Athletic and Southampton already down, Barnsley and Nottingham Forest - who drew at Blackpool - still face a battle to stay up, as Norwich City still have six points to play for. Plymouth are also still in slight danger, having drawn at Queens Park Rangers.

League One


Peterborough's win at Colchester United secured Posh's automatic promotion to the Championship under Darren Ferguson. Millwall won against Leyton Orient, MK Dons lost to Walsall, Leeds United won at Hartlepool and Tranmere drew with Yeovil. Of those, Tranmere are the only team under threat of losing a playoff place - Scunthorpe United, who beat Crewe Alexandra 4-3 on Friday, will catch them with four points from their last two games.

At the bottom, Cheltenham Town could only draw with Carlisle United and are relegated along with Hereford United. Carlisle and Crewe can still save themselves, though Crewe will require a big goal difference swing to catch Brighton and Hove Albion, who drew at Huddersfield Town. Carlisle could catch Brighton and Northampton Town (if they lose both their remaining matches) and, with a five-goal swing, Hartlepool.

League Two


The big game at the bottom of League Two ended in a 2-1 win for AFC Bournemouth over Grimsby Town. The result ensured the Cherries' survival, while Chester City's 2-2 draw at Aldershot effectively sent City down ahead of Grimsby.

At the top, Brentford secured the title with a 3-1 victory at Darlington. Behind them Wycombe Wanderers will be promoted with a point from their final game after drawing with Port Vale, and Exeter City need to better Bury's result on the last day to go up automatically with them. Bury and Gillingham drew, and both are in the playoffs. They're joined by Rochdale who picked up a point at Luton Town.

The final playoff spot is currently held by Dagenham & Redbridge, but they are only two points ahead of Shrewsbury Town. The twist? They play on the final day. Shrewsbury drew with Lincoln City on Saturday.

Non-League


The Blue Square Premier season is complete, and Burton Albion's defeat at Torquay United didn't matter. They're promoted as champions thanks to Cambridge United's inability to win at home to Altrincham. Histon, Stevenage and Torquay join United in the playoffs to follow Burton into the Football League.

Lewes, Weymouth, Northwich Victoria and Woking are relegated.

Tamworth are promoted from the Blue Square North, and will be joined by playoff winners from Gateshead, Alfreton Town, AFC Telford or Southport, while Hyde, Burscough and Hucknall are relegated.

AFC Wimbledon are promoted from the Blue Square South. The playoffs will be between Hampton & Richmond, Eastleigh, Hayes & Yeading and Chelmsford. Thurrock, Bognor Regis Town and Fisher Athletic go down.

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The last word on the PFA awards

The PFA Player and Young Player of the Year Award winners were announced, and they were as predictable as they were wrong. I understand that footballers are a bit dim, prone to hype and sentimental, but surely there's an argument to give them at least a fighting chance of getting this right by asking them at the end of the season. You know, when it's relevant.

Not that that would have affected their choice of Player of the Year, which went to Manchester United's Ryan Giggs. This is wrong. That's not to say Giggs isn't or wasn't a wonderful player - he is. But the fact is he only won this award because he never won it before, i.e. on the many, many occasions he deserved it. Steven Gerrard, and Frank Lampard (who didn't even make the shortlist) can feel rightly aggrieved.

So too can Stephen Ireland, the Manchester City midfielder who missed out to Ashley Young of Aston Villa, presumably because of the timing of the vote. Young had an excellent first half of the season, completing an impressive achievement by picking up his third Player of the Month award in a calendar year.

But his form has dipped appallingly since then, and his being rewarded has exposed the ludicrous nature of this voting process. Ireland has had a stormer this season and arguably would have been close to Young even before Christmas. But the fact that Young has been unable to rescue an ailing Villa side while Ireland has continued to shine in a poor city side speaks volumes.

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Photo of the Weekend

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Amazing scenes at Dean Court as legendary striker Steve Fletcher's winning goal confirms AFC Bournemouth's escape from relegation. A crowd of 9000 saw the 2-1 victory over Grimsby Town, who are also effectively safe after Chester failed to win at Aldershot. (AFCB.co.uk)

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AFC Bournemouth escape relegation

This blog has picked up a lot of new readers recently, but those of you who pre-date the influx will know that I have frequently written about the turmoil at AFC Bournemouth, a club incredibly close to my heart.

For more than fifteen years the south coast club has battled through financial difficulties, and in the process has been saved by an eleventh hour public meeting at the town's Winter Gardens venue, become Europe's first community club and, sadly, entered administration amidst a ludicrously drawn out mirage of a takeover.

There have been good times too. In May 2003, I stood behind the goal at Cardiff's Millennium Stadium and watched the Cherries decimate Lincoln City to win the Third Division (League Two) playoffs, sealing promotion with a 5-2 win over a side that had defeated Sean O'Driscoll's side at Dean Court just days before.

Yesterday was another high point.

Bournemouth were relegated from League One last term thanks to their decision to call in the administrators and the resulting ten-point penalty. At the start of this season, Bournemouth and Rotherham picked up 17-point penalties for exiting administration without a company voluntary arrangement.

With Luton Town kicking off on minus-30 because of financial irregularities, it seemed certain that it would be straight shoot-out between the two clubs to join them in the Conference. I can't speak for Rotherham, but I'm sure relegation from the Football League would have been the beginning of the end of AFC Bournemouth.

Rotherham were having none of it and quickly went about the business of dragging themselves into a position of safety. Bournemouth were less sharp, and finally sacked Kevin Bond in September. He was replaced by the equally ineffective Jimmy Quinn, who was sacked on New Year's Eve.

Enter Eddie Howe, a local boy and fans' favourite with over 250 Bournemouth appearances to his name. He's the youngest manager in the Football League at 31, and his appointment sparked into life a survival operation which overshadows even the stunning 'Great Escape' of 1995.

Trust me, it was a pretty special time to be at Dean Court for every home game - and the trip to Brentford was mindblowing.

Under Howe, the players started to take their chances of survival seriously, and the results began to flow. As the season finale approached, it became increasingly clear that Bournemouth, Grimsby Town or Chester City would follow Luton through the trapdoor.

Last weekend the Cherries visited Chester and picked up a vital 2-0 win. It appeared to spell the end for City, but manager Mark Wright correctly pointed out that there was still the small matter of Grimsby's trip to Bournemouth - they couldn't both win.

It turned out to be another day on which the football club gave the seaside town reason to be thoroughly proud. Having gone behind, Bournemouth put on a typical show of resilience and determination. Liam Feeney levelled for the home side against the ten men of Grimsby, and then the magic happened.

With 11 minutes to go, returning legend Steve Fletcher scored to confirm Bournemouth's survival. And wouldn't you know it, he did so with his 100th league goal. Of the celebrating thousands, none will have been happier than the big striker. Fletch is the nicest footballer you could ever hope to meet, and I'm genuinely over the moon for him.

Chester's draw at Aldershot effectively saved Grimsby too. City's chances of survival basically boil down to zilch: they must win, Grimsby lose and those results must ensure something like a 20-goal swing. It simply isn't going to happen.

Bournemouth have surprised me and I'm immensely proud of them. Now let's get this ridiculous takeover nonsense sorted and start building this club into the wonderful one it deserves to be.

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twofootedtackle podcast six preview

Friday, 24 April 2009

This week has and still could be full of shocks: Roy Keane walks back into management, Burton could well and truly bottle it, Steve McClaren doing rather well as a manager, the list goes on. But none are more shocking that me having the podcast preview written by the end of play on Friday. And from a small village in Devon, no less, where broadband is generally known as slang for fat musicians.

But onto the pod. We'll be joined this week by the ever-entertaining Tom Phillips from The Metro's Ridiculant column, who will no doubt find amusing pictures of cats playing football to complement his blog and ours.

Discussion wise, we'll be keeping our attentions firmly on the Championship when we speculate if the aforementioned Mr Keane filed for divorce from his beard before he moved to Ipswich, the Saints points penalty, Nottingham Forest and all that jazz.

Comedy Dutch accents will abound as we take a quick gander at the Eredivise, plus there'll be the Premier League, MLS and much much more, including an update on your favourite footballing pie.

And I've not mentioned this to Mr twofootedtackle yet, but if Exeter secure promotion this weekend (which requires a win at home to Morecambe and Bury to lose to Gillingham) then I suspect there may just be a small amount of chatter about the Grecians.

Assuming I recover from my hangover in time, that is...

And while you're impatiently tapping your toes as you wait for Wednesday to arrive, why not become a fan of the podcast on Facebook?

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Best of the rest?

Thursday, 23 April 2009

If the big four is the big four, what's below it?

I've been giving the whole thing some thought lately, and a very short conversation with Stuey planted in my brain the idea that a second wave is developing underneath the big boys. Stuey named Aston Villa (my club), Everton (his club) and West Ham United (someone else's club) as proper clubs he hoped would succeed.

Despite not being a fan of West Ham at all, from Harry effing Redknapp through "Pards" and "Curbs", my general despair has, quietly, enabled me to develop an appreciation for them. They are, as Stuey said, a proper club.

Villa, Everton and West Ham currently occupy fifth to seventh in the Premier League. Despite the disappointment of Villa falling short of fourth after a great start, that's not half bad.

Newcastle United, full of posturing, politics and delusions of grandeur, have fallen hilariously short of their ludicrous ambitions. Manchester City are learning that it's going to take more than just money to succeed. And Tottenham Hotspur have paid for their knee-jerk removal of Martin Jol in lost time. They're a realistic candidate to challenge that fifth spot, but how long before Redknapp gets bored and decides to screw them over?

So while Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal fight it out at the boring end of the table, what becomes of this battle bubbling below?

For a while, top six status (i.e. fifth and sixth) have been achievable for most clubs above the relegation dogfight. Everton's loyalty to David Moyes (and his to them) helped the club sneak into fourth not so long ago, and they're now a seemingly permanent fixture in the top six. Villa, thanks to their bloodying of Arsenal's nose this season, are perhaps generously seen as the top four's heir apparent despite being relatively new to the top six, at least recently.

But far from making them the bottom two clubs of the leading pack, I think this puts Villa and Everton at the top of the next. Philistine I may be, but I honestly believe these two clubs are a distance short of the so-called big four.

Who joins them in the (slowly) chasing pack? If I asked this question in a room with 19 other people, each of us representing the Premier League's clubs, the Tottenham Hotspur fan would now be sitting there with his hand in the air, arm supported by his other, shouting "Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, ooh ooh ooh, I know this one, Chrischrischrischrischris!" And he'd have a point.

Spurs have developed a knack of spunking money away on rubbish players, overloading positions of strength at great cost, and starting seasons worse than a tone-deaf Nigel Kennedy impersonator. But sooner or later, some bright spark will work out that matching their financial might with a good manager and a much-needed dose of stability would likely put Spurs in an excellent position.

I hope West Ham join them. While I am more fond of Fulham - and delighted at their progress under Roy Hodgson - the Hammers have found a new class and humility since Gianfranco Zola took over, and they continue to do many things right. Fulham do too, and I believe that they, along with one or two other clubs (perhaps Wigan if they keep Steve Bruce, sticking my neck out), could form the group of Europa League hopefuls.

That's all well and good. Wigan excepted (sorry, Wigan fans), these are good, solid football clubs. I just hope it never becomes a closed shop like the mini-league above it.

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Southampton relegated

It's a sad day for Southampton supporters, my mate's dad, Matt Le Tissier and former Fighting Talk anchor Christian O'Connell - the BBC is reporting that Southampton have been deducted ten points and, as a result, relegated from the Championship.

Gary and I discussed this on the podcast a couple of weeks back. Basically, my understanding of the situation is that the reason Southampton didn't get deducted ten points earlier was that it was the club's holding company which was in administration, not the club itself.

But I suppose it's right and just, then, that Saints have been penalised in this way. But it is, as it often seems in these situations, shrouded in more suspicion and mystery than necessary.

Southampton were likely to be relegated anyway, and I've not yet been able to find out if they've simply "cashed in" their points deduction in order to begin next season on zero points in League One. If they have, should that be allowed?

But fear not...Southampton will be shafted either way. If they finish in the bottom three, their deduction will take effect next season. If they escape the relegation zone, they'll be deducted ten points this season and - you guessed it - relegated. So I suppose we should praise the authorities for coming up with a resolution which gives Saints an incentive in their remaining games. I'm sure the rest of the Championship is pleased about that.

And, once again, I feel compelled to point out that the problems with football all stem from the bastards that run so many of our clubs.

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twofootedtackle's sh*t hot football podcasts

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Since finally taking the plunge and kicking off the twofootedtackle football podcast, I've come to realise that it's actually bloody hard work. Trust me - it takes a whole bunch of preparation, knowledge and confidence. That's why I drafted someone else in to present it, obviously.

As a result, I've come to appreciate other podcasts that little bit more. From professional shows with all the resources media outlets can throw at them, to one-man-and-a-laptop efforts, the key is in the quality. Here are my favourites (in all cases, iTunes podcast power search is your friend):

BBC World Football Phone-In

This is purely and simply the greatest radio show on the planet, and because of its global appeal and god-awful broadcast time (it begins at 2.30am in the UK) it is shared as a podcast. BBC Radio Five Live Up All Night presenter Dotun Adebayo leads the line, supported by the amazingly detailed knowledge of Tim Vickery (swoon), Andy Brassell, Sean Wheelock (who also does play-by-play for Kansas City Wizards), Dorusimi Thomas, Peter Laws and more.

It also has a regular cast of slightly mental listeners who are expertly managed by the affable and quick-witted Adebayo. I'm not exaggerating when I say you need this podcast.

The Guardian Football Weekly

Presented by James Richardson, the Gazzetta Italia presenter who was such a fixture of my football development, this is the daddy of football podcasts. Richardson is hilariously offset by Barry Glendenning, and the pair are joined by various Guardian and Observer journos.

Sean Ingle, Paul Doyle, Kevin McCarra and Barney Ronay are particularly engaging as the podcast whizzes around the top European leagues. And despite my complete non-interest in Spanish football, the phone call with La Liga expert Sid Lowe is a real highlight. He doesn't like shitty little yapping dogs any more than I do.

Match Fit USA

This is a podcast I really admire, and I hope occasional twofootedtackle contributor Jason Davis gets everything up and running again soon because he seems to really enjoy it. The Match Fit USA podcast gives a well-prepared and hugely insightful view of American football soccer football.

As the podcast matures, Jason's started to attract some cracking guests and works them in in a way which still allows him to express his impressive knowledge. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Soccerlens

Anyone who dips in and out of twofootedtackle and doesn't stalk podcast presenter Gary Andrews may not know that the cheeky Welshman has been cheating on twofootedtackle with the Soccerlens podcast. It suits him, too, because it's a lovely display of football geekery.

Presenter Stephen Darwin isn't quite as comfortable on air as Gary, but it sounds like he knows football inside out and he attracts some blinding guests. Well worth a listen, and a new addition to my iTunes subscriptions.

Winning Ugly Radio

If you like Fighting Talk and American accents, Winning Ugly Radio is the show for you. Scott Bornstein, Zach Woosley, Sandra Franz and Erik Young romp through a chuckle-inducing array of footy topics, covering the Premier League with as much nous as Major League Soccer.

The show is part of the Champions Soccer Radio Network, which I believe could use a little help right now. If the guys get comedian and Seattle Sounders owner Drew Carey onside, it might just attract the support it needs.

Honourable mentions go the way of FootballFanCast's Serie A Football Fancast and the UnitedMania DC United podcast. I suppose the obvious omission from this is The Times' podcast The Game - while Phill Jupitus is, in my view, an excellent presenter, the presence of Tony Evans serves only to get right on my tits.

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Parity v Competition

In another exchange of guest posts, Jason Davis and I discuss the pros and cons of parity and competition on both sides of the Atlantic. You can read my post on Match Fit USA, but I'll leave you in Jason's capable hands.

Our man Chris recently posted a commentary on the state of the Premier League's rather predictable nature, lamenting that only one-fifth of the league have a realistic shot finishing on top. It's a rather disheartening set of circumstances for those who choose to align themselves with clubs outside of the Big Four. As a fan, I can think of little sadder than being forced to acknowledge that your club, before the season even begins, has no chance of competing for the title. This being Chris' site, Villa comes to mind of course; the state of the Premier League (and the modern football world) means that a top four spot is the holy grail for the Villans, and that any thought that the club could win a Premier League title isn't even worth the effort it takes to imagine it.

For American football fans (fans of the beautiful game that are American, not fans of that other football played with an oblong ball), this type of imbalance is a bit of a foreign concept. Our own domestic league goes out of its way to ensure that parity is the law of the land, that every club has a chance to compete for the championship, and that no team gains an "unfair" advantage through a strong financial position. So which approach is preferable? The reality of the matter is that the former will likely never change, and that the latter will remain the status quo for the foreseeable future. The relative financial wherewithal of the leagues and clubs in question mean that each approach is "proper" for the respective interests; it would be difficult to tell any of the Big Four that they simply aren't allowed to spend more than anyone else, and it might be suicide for MLS to remove the shackles and allow a free-spending atmosphere. Money is at the heart of the matter, because money buys quality, and quality wins championships.

I can't conceive of English football going to a salary-cap model, or some other kind of forced parity system. It's such a strange thought that it's almost revolting. What would the Premier League be without big clubs, bursting with high-priced talent and benches full of stars, facing off against their smaller cousins, whose budgets pale in comparison, and getting pipped on occasion? It's true that by the end of the season, by the time the dust has settled and titles and Champions League spots have been given out, those standing are always the same four clubs. But should the situation be radically changed simply because of that fact? How intriguing would Aston Villa's attempts to break into the top four actually be if it weren’t such a monumental task for them to do so? How much joy would any team's fans take from a Champions League spot earned during a season that saw Manchester United and Chelsea held back, unable to swing about their financial might?

Perhaps that's the wrong question. Undoubtedly, some would take a top four finish no matter how or under what circumstances it was earned. But my feeling stands: force some kind of artificial restrictions on the Big Four (and the Premier League as a whole) and you remove the romance of the league. The David and Goliath nature that is such a part of English football, even within its top tier, would slowly disappear, leaving too many clubs as bland copies of each other. What fun would it be to root against Manchester United if its team sheet wasn't stacked with high-priced talent whose very existence riles our passions?

Parity exists, and is forced upon, Major League Soccer because it has to be. A young league struggling to gain a foothold needs all of its fans to believe that a championship is possible when the season begins. Parity breeds interest for MLS (or that’s the idea anyway), keeping engaged a group of fans who might not otherwise remain interested. The Premier League needs no such help, and would only be reduced to mediocrity if any type of restrictions were placed on its clubs.

That's certainly not something I want to see.

While I think it's unfortunate for Chris and millions of fans like him, Aston Villa should start every season dreaming of, well, fourth.

English football is better for it.

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twofootedtackle podcast Episode 5

It's Wednesday. It's 11am. It's CRACKERJA...



That's right, twofootedfans, it's time for the fifth episode of the twofootedtackle podcast. Gary and I were joined in Studio 31 by Ollie Irish from Big Soccer, and he had an exciting announcement for us. Readers of Who Ate All The Pies, you might want to listen to this week's show.



Between the three of us, we managed to muster enough expertise to guide ourselves through the Premier League, FA Cup and Football League, along with the Blue Square Premier and Blue Square South promotion races, Major League Soccer, Adriano and a few other bits and pieces.



twofootedtackle podcast Episode 5 is now available on iTunes. Just search for twofootedpodcast.



Alternatively, you'll find the MP3 directly by clickimafying here.



In this week's debate, Gary and I booted each other in the bollocks over the PFA's Player of the Year nominations, and decided on our sides of the argument with a slightly farcical coin toss. Ollie awarded the in-studio victory to yours truly, but you, dear readers, have the power to overturn his decision. Vote below.



The blog posts we discussed this week were from Soccerlens and Aston Villa Blog. Anybody who spots the "deliberate" error gets a cookie or something.



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Keep the Old Firm out of the Premier League

I find the idea of Rangers and Celtic joining the Premier League repulsive. I can't put it any more eloquently than that. It would be, sadly, the final straw for me as a Premier League supporter. Bolton Wanderers chairman Phil Gartside has drawn up plans for a two-tier Premier League of 36 clubs, and the expansion of the Premier League is bad enough. But to invite two clubs from another country on some flimsy grounds is just bullshit.



Here's why.



Nationality


Rangers and Celtic are not English. They're Scottish. I know it's a basic argument, but it's one that matters to me. As a football fanatic, I believe every country should have its own league structure. It's culturally vital. Obviously, Cardiff City, Swansea City and Wrexham are Welsh clubs in the English leagues. Berwick Rangers are in a similar situation.



But these were decisions made in a different time, and quite frankly I wouldn't have been in favour then either. They're here now, and more power to their elbows. But their presence shouldn't be used as an excuse to allow two Scottish clubs in just because they're financially powerful.



The colour of money


And if you hadn't heard, there is a league pyramid in this country. If, for some stupid reason, we welcomed the two Glasgow clubs into our structure, they should damn well start at the bottom. They won't, of course - they'll buy their way in. To me, that is unacceptable and demonstrates everything about football that makes me sick up in my mouth a little bit.



If Rangers and Celtic join the Premier League in any form, the devil will be laughing his tits off at us all for letting it happen while he gorges on football's soul. We all know football is driven by money, but selling Premier League spots to foreign teams is a step even the most blindly loyal of us should find revolting.



Scottish football


And what of the leagues left behind? Scottish football may not be at the front of our minds much of the time, but it deserves more respect than this. Skimming the two best teams off a league system can only be damaging. It shows contempt for the rest of the teams, and will have a tangible effect on the quality of the league two.



Granted, it may make the leagues more competitive. But for how long? How long until Aberdeen and Hearts, for example, dominate Scottish football?



Where is the line?


Regular readers will know that I'm prone to stargazing in these situations, and often ask 'where is the line?'. If it's possible to buy a place in the Premier League, do we start letting French teams in too? How about Germans, in that case? And Dutch? As I've stated already, football is so culturally and politically important that countries must not be stripped of it by greedy clubs.



There's also the question of how far the Scottish inductees continue. What happens when Celtic and Rangers being absent leads to someone else dominating for decades? Do we then absorb them into the English leagues too? Call me cynical, but that's a dangerous precedent for all involved - except the greedy bastards at the top, of course.



FIFA sovereignty


As soon as we start inviting foreign teams into our leagues, we'd expect FIFA and UEFA to kick off. Surprisingly, UEFA appear to have already given the extension of an invite to the Glaswegians the green light. But FIFA won't be such an easy nut to crack, and they might well counter the whole shebang with the argument that if our leagues are merged and our Olympic team united, isn't it time the home nations became one within FIFA?



Without wishing to sound xenophobic, I see the Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish as 'foreign' when it comes to football. Some English fans might disagree, I'm damn sure fans of the other nations won't. As a result, I don't want to lose England - that's yet another reason why I'll oppose this proposal all the way.



Extracurricular 'activities'


Of course, Rangers and Celtic have a fair amount of baggage, and I don't want it in the Premier League. I'll get a slating for this, but the sectarian shite which must be tolerated by the two clubs' normal fans is a total disgrace and has no place in football.



With that in mind, why the hell would we want to import it into the Premier League? Oh, silly me - money.



Super League


Once again, I find myself writing about a proposal whose confirmation would see me packing in the Premier League altogether. I've long said I wouldn't exactly be heartbroken if the self-appointed 'big clubs' buggered off to do their own thing, i.e. the European Super League they're so keen to pursue. But I don't want it to replace the league I follow.



So here's that infamous threat again: if this happens, I'm going to sack off the Premier League and watching Tooting every week. It's more fulfilling anyway.

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Premier League bad, Seattle Sounders good

Monday, 20 April 2009

Quick heads-up for any dudes out there who care enough about what I write to read my stuff elsewhere. I've had a couple of pieces published today which may be of interest to football fans, bloggers and so on and so forth and so what.


Firstly, on the blog I help to write in my day job at Porter Novelli, the global public relations agency, I've done my best to bite my tongue while writing a critique of the Premier League and DataCo's approach to copyright enforcement in football. Not a single swear! My mum would be proud. You can read it at Clicking & Screaming.

I've also written another piece for Soccerlens. This one explains why I think Seattle Sounders FC are a fantastic thing for Major League Soccer, and why good marketing, good location choice and good timing could mean the Sounders help out the league as a whole. More here.

Your comments are, as always, more than welcome in both cases.

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twofootedtackle podcast 5 preview

The twofootedtackle team noted that the grass in London was perhaps a little out of condition at the weekend, but you won't catch us complaining about it. Oh no, we're true professionals and we like to get on with the job, which includes our customary look at what's coming up on the podcast this week.


We've got another cracking guest on the pod in the shape of Ollie Irish from Big Soccer (and Who Ate All The Pies), and he'll be joining us in casting a gaze over the following topics.

Obviously, we can't ignore the FA Cup results of the weekend. Well, we could but you'd probably besiege us with mildly irritated emails.

There'll also be our customary look around the Premier League and the MLS while we'll also round up what's going on in the other English leagues as the season reaches its climax.

And also, we'll be chatting about the Premier League Player Of The Year shortlist and asking if anybody can actually remember more than one Ryan Giggs appearance this season.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we're off to email the FA directions to their nearest B&Q.

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Weekend roundup

Despite Chelsea and Everton reaching the FA Cup Final in England, it was a pretty dire weekend for the rest of us. A dull Saturday in the Premier League saw just five goals scored, a feat more than matched in just one match on Sunday. Here's your weekly English football roundup from twofootedtackle - and yes, it is going to be a regular thing.



Premier League


With Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal out of action due to the FA Cup, the focus in the Premier League shifted to the bottom and the fight for fifth. At Villa Park, West Ham nicked a late equaliser after falling behind against Aston Villa early on. That puts the Hammers firmly in a fight for Europe and Villa now look like losing fifth spot to Everton.



Wins for Sunderland, Stoke City and Portsmouth helped their battles for safety, while West Bromwich Albion are all but down after losing 4-2 to Manchester City. Newcastle United are in big relegation trouble following their defeat by Tottenham Hotspur.



FA Cup


The FA Cup Final at Wembley will be played between Chelsea and Everton. On Saturday, Didier Drogba's late goal for Chelsea saw off Arsenal in the first semi-final. Yesterday, Manchester United and Everton played out a goalless draw and Everton won on penalties thanks to two saves by Tim Howard.



Football League


Wolverhampton Wanderers confirmed their promotion to the Premier League with a 1-0 win over Queens Park Rangers in the Championship. They'll be joined by Birmingham City if they win their final two matches, thanks to victory at Watford. Charlton Athletic threw away a 2-0 lead against Blackpool and are relegated to League One.



Nottingham Forest's survival hopes were given a huge boost by their home win over Coventry City and Ipswich Town's derby win against struggling Norwich City.



Leicester City are back in the Championship, promoted as League One champions after winning at Southend United. Hereford United's home defeat by Colchester United sends them down to League Two.



League Two remains undecided aside from Luton's relegation. Victory at Chester City gave AFC Bournemouth a fantastic chance of survival and leaves City in a very sticky situation. The top three - Brentford, Exeter City and Wycombe Wanderers - all won to put themselves in position for promotion. Grimsby Town's win moves them four points clear of the drop zone.



Non-League


The Blue Square Premier title race will go right down to the wire. Burton Albion are just three points ahead of Cambridge United with one to play. Cambridge won 2-1 at Salisbury, and Burton missed an opportunity to clinch promotion on Friday night, losing 1-0 at home to Oxford United.



At the bottom, Northwich beat already relegated Lewes, Woking drew with Mansfield Town and Weymouth lost at home to Ebbsfleet United. York took a step closer to safety by beating Eastbourne Borough, but Grays Athletic slipped back into trouble thanks to Altrincham.



Wimbledon took a huge leap nearer Blue Square South promotion, drawing 1-1 in their top of the table derby at Hampton & Richmond. The gap stays at three points, and Hampton are joined on 82 by Eastleigh, who beat Worcester . Maidenhead United won to give themselves a shot at the play-off spots after Chelmsford lost to Bath City.

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Blog update: a new look!

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Just a quick post to say I hope you like the new look. It's been designed to make the site a little more grown up and bit less offensive on the eyes. Only thing is, it's made the older posts look a bit naff, and I can't be arsed to go back and fix them. So, if you're digging around the archives...sorry.



You'll notice a few other changes, but the one I want to mention is the twofootedtackle Facebook fan page. Please join, it's there for both the blog and podcast and as a bit of fun for us all. Pop over there if you like.



Also, I'm working on the links lists to the left. Shout if you want one.

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FA Cup Semi-Final Liveblog

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PFA Player of the Year shortlists

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Sorry for being a little bit late to the party on this one, but I've only just finished laughing my arse off about the names involved. The nominations for the PFA Player and Young Player of the Year Awards were released yesterday, and provide a solid argument for the assumption that footballers are a bit stupid.



Player of the Year Nominees

  • Edwin van der Sar (Manchester United)
  • Ryan Giggs (Manchester United)
  • Nemanja Vidic (yep, Manchester United)
  • Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United)
  • Cristiano Ronaldo (*sigh* Manchester United)
  • Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)

Can you see a pattern? That's right, five out of six nominees play for Manchester United. If you were to read that list without knowing how the actual football was going, you'd say that United, in truth only one point clear of Liverpool, had the season done and dusted by February.



I should mention at this point that the voting (by fellow professionals) is done mid-season, so that's something to take into account.



But for my money, only Vidic deserves to be there out of the United nominees - he was, until recently, phenomenal. Ferdinand hasn't had his best season, and I think Ronaldo has been slightly disappointing.



Van der Sar's nomination is a complete joke. He broke some clean sheet records this season, but he has his defence to thank for that. Okay, that's maybe an argument for Ferdinand's inclusion, but I still don't think he should be there.



Giggs is a sentimental inclusion, and that's wrong. If the players wanted him to have this award, there were plenty of seasons when he'd have thoroughly deserved it.



Vidic will get it, but the winner, for me, has to be Steven Gerrard. But I'd say Frank Lampard could argue he's unlucky not to feature. Of course, plenty of clubs would say they have great unsung players. I think Stiliyan Petrov has been peerless this year, Kevin Davies has been stunning...plenty of players have a case.



The focus on United has flummoxed me a bit. I can't begin to imagine the motives.



Young Player of the Year Nominees

  • Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa)
  • Jonny Evans (Manchester United)
  • Stephen Ireland (Manchester City)
  • Aaron Lennon (Tottenham Hotspur)
  • Rafael (Manchester United)
  • Ashley Young (Aston Villa)

This list is a little more realistic, but a couple of inclusions are confusing. Jonny Evans is an above average player who features by virtue of the fact that he plays for United. Rafael is a very good player who's done little this season and, again, is in this list for one reason only.



Aaron Lennon remains hugely over-rated. His end product is still appalling, he gives the ball away like nobody's business and he's done bugger all of note this season for a team which has fallen way short of (ridiculous) expectations.



The Aston Villa duo, Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor, would not be included if the season was taken as a whole, but were in good form at the time of the vote. That could see Young win the award, but his poor form since makes a mockery of the voting system. Agbonlahor falls just short of his colleague, despite another impressive goalscoring season.



Ashley Young may well get the award, but for me it has to be given to Stephen Ireland, the best player on that list by a country mile. The kid carries a team of spineless prima-donnas every time they play well. If Manchester City have any intelligence, they'll be building their team around him.



So what do you think? Am I being too harsh on the United lads and Aaron Lennon? Who should win, and who else is missing?



(Photo: Zimbio)

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twofootedtackle podcast: Episode 4

A new day, but the same old nonsense. Gary Andrews and I have had to shift podcast recording at Studio 31 to Tuesday evenings in order to actually play football ourselves, so from now on you'll have to wait until Wednesday to have your ears offended by the twofootedtackle podcast.



This week, our guest is the founder of Some People Are On The Pitch, Chris Oakley - another great guest, I'm sure you'll agree. We spent the hour-and-a-bit shooting the breeze on the Premier League, Major League Soccer, Hillsborough's legacy, Team Bath, Ligue 1 and a few other interesting bits and pieces besides.



twofootedtackle podcast Episode 4 is now available on iTunes. Just search for twofootedpodcast.



You can also click straight through to the MP3 by clicking here.

In this week's debate, Gary and I slapped each other about a bit on the topic of Team Bath. Guess who drew the short straw. In the studio, Chris O awarded the debate to Gary (AGAINST), leaving me (FOR) to wallow in the misery of what looks like my first defeat.



Do the right thing. Vote for me.





The blog posts we discussed this week were from twohundredpercent and FootballFanCast.

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TFT meets...Jared Montz

Tuesday, 14 April 2009


Jared Montz is a former professional soccer player. He prematurely retired through injury in March, but his love for the sport has remained strong despite this setback. Jared's career took him through Major League Soccer's Chicago Fire, future MLS expansion club Vancouver Whitecaps and Puerto Rico Islanders.



He now runs an innovative online soccer coaching school, Jared Montz Soccer, which brilliantly uses social networking and social media tools to give Jared the ability to be hands on with the coaching but keep it affordable for the parents of his pupils.



The cornerstone of JMS coaching is Jared's videos, filmed not on a perfectly maintained pitch or astroturf, but on grass - it's a down to earth little touch, one of many which show his understanding of the realities of being a kid growing up playing football in the States.



Jared kindly agreed to answer some questions from twofootedtackle, and I think they give a good insight to what he's doing for his pupils and why Jared Montz is a really good thing for American soccer.



TFT: After four years at Lynn U, you spent time with Chicago Fire, Vancouver Whitecaps and Puerto Rico Islanders. How do you see your career looking back?



JM: As a player, whenever I hit a milestone or a high point I enjoyed it for that day and then immediately was looking to reach an even higher point. So when you're in it your never satisfied, you always want more. Looking back I can be proud of what I accomplished. Did I reach all of my goals in football, no. Do I wish it could have been different had I not picked my injuries, yes.



But overall I am satisfied and can look back with no regrets and say that I went as far in the game as I could before injuries set in. I dealt with a lot of tough situations and I am proud of how I handled them.



I met a lot of great fans, played the game with some great pros, learned a ton, and lived the dream of being a professional footballer for a few years; a dream I wanted ever since I was a young kid!



How long ago did you set up JMS, and what inspired you to do so?



I formed Jared Montz Soccer as an LLC in September of 2008 but the business idea itself came in June 2008. I was inspired to build an Online Soccer Academy because I thought it would be a brand new great way for young footballers to learn new football skills they could work on in their backyard and have a place to go to get motivated.



In America most players only get to train with their club teams 1-2 times per week. The rest of the time they have to train on their own and don't always know what to do. I didn't know what to do when I was growing up training by myself. Now I plan to fix that and offer kids a new source of football knowledge.



What are the difficulties facing young players in the USA?



Infrastructure, coaching, and opportunities. It is not like England with a youth academy set-up building into the pro team. It is starting to change over here with MLS clubs building their academies but it has a long way to go. There are some good coaches in America but they can't be everywhere. So a lot of young players get coached by parents that volunteer.



It is great that parents do that and I certainly appreciate it. However, from a football standpoint it is hard for a young player to learn technique and tactics from a person who has never played before. In my opinion that is why you find American players on average tend to be great athletes but not world class footballers.



It's also true that the States is a huge country. It is not easy to get recruited by a college or pro coach depending where you are. It costs a lot of money to travel and go to big tournaments to get seen by scouts. Not everyone can afford the time and money to do this.



For me personally there were no colleges near me that offered men's football, so I had to go above and beyond just playing good footy to get seen by scouts.



Is there anything like JMS in existence elsewhere?



No, not the way I am doing it. Other websites might have training videos or coaching lessons, but none are designed the way my Online Soccer Academy is, with all its extra features and taste of social media.



What makes JMS unique?



I would like to think it is my personal touch. Besides learning football in the Online Soccer Academy I feel I have designed a motivation center for my players to come to.



I imagine, and I know from feedback from their parents, that my players come in read a few blog posts, do their recent game review, read a motivational quote in their message center, watch the newest training video, and then go out in the backyard feeling pumped that if they train hard today and believe in it they can reach their dreams!



How is the School working out so far?



It's only been live for two and a half months, so the biggest success so far is that I got it up and working! I got the idea in June 2008 and between researching, raising capital, working with a web design team, getting a lawyer, insurance, marketing, trademarks, going through beta etc., it was a good feeling to see it finally go live January 30, 2009. Not to mention on top of that I was rehabbing my injury 4-5 hours a day, coaching camps and private lessons so it was a 36-hour a day job!



I am not a tech savvy guy, so the fact that the website is working and the user feedback has been so positive to me is the biggest success so far.



You use social media for Jared Montz Soccer. Which tools do you use for which purposes?



I do use social media. I am on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, and Youtube. I also blog, podcast, and film Youtube videos. I could be doing way more but that is about all I can handle at the moment.



I use Twitter to connect with football people. It is mostly users 20 and older on there at the moment I would say. There is a big soccer community on Twitter and I enjoy speaking with everyone and meeting new people. Twitter, with its real time search, makes it easy to connect with new people all over the world and I think the culture of the users on the site promotes that.



Facebook helps me connect with more of the younger generation (older players I coach), and, well, now the younger generation's parents too as it is pretty much taking over the world! I use LinkedIn but I don't really use it that much. It doesn't promote sharing and engaging with people as much as other social networking sites do. It has a model that works for their users, but I would say it doesn't help me that much at the moment.



Youtube helps me get my video content out there. I probably should use other video sharing sites too but at the moment 95% of the people that would watch MontzTV videos are going to do it on Youtube.



First and foremost I enjoy meeting people and talking football but the business value in social media is huge. I have made so many great contacts through Twitter and Facebook. Sometimes it is easier and faster for me to get a response with people I need to speak to on Facebook then it is making a phone call or sending an email.



If you listen, participate, and engage with other users and bring something of value to the table you will slowly start to build a community that will be interested in reading your blogs, listening to your podcasts, etc.



Look at some of the big social media players like Gary Vaynerchuk of Wine Library TV and you can see he would not be where he is today without social media.



How else do you promote yourself?



This is my second business so I am able to almost piggyback off my first business, which I still have, my soccer camps. I have coached hundreds of kids over the past few years so I have some built in organic growth. Some nights I spend a few hours calling campers and their parents personally to let them know about the new Online Soccer Academy.



Any kids I coach at camp, private, group, and team training sessions from now on will get a free month in the Online Academy. I am currently doing a promotion where current users and trial users in the Academy get a free Montz Soccer bag and I ship it for free too. In the bag are autograph cards with information about the Academy and all I ask from the players who get the free bags is they hand the cards out to their teammates at their next practice.



Those are just a few examples. I have other marketing plans and ideas too but one thing I know about business is you don’t give away all your secrets!



What are the pressures you face as a business?



There are a lot of pressures running a business; we could do a whole separate interview on that! Being a web startup and business in general I would say the biggest pressure would be how do you handle not making money. Sounds funny, but you have so much capital, time, and energy invested in a business that may not ever show you a positive return.



Can you handle the pressure of not making money a year or two while the business is growing? You would like to think that hopefully it won't take to long to start turning a profit but the reality is it takes time and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to run a successful business and they don’t just happen overnight.



What are your long-term ambitions? Any intention to move abroad?



My biggest ambition is to be a positive influence on young people's lives that have a dream and want to go for it. I want my Online Soccer Academy to be a place they can come to get inspired and educated about football. I have a lot of ideas for how to continue to make that happen in the future and I will always be making my Online Academy experience better and better for my players.



Some kid from New Zealand tried to sign up the other day and I have past campers that now live in Australia so I guess you could say one day going abroad would have to be on the cards. For now though I believe Americans will mostly use my Online Soccer Academy. That needs to happen first, before I make a big move to actively market the website abroad.



One day in the next few years though I would love to make the trip to Europe and catch some games, interview players for MontzTV and the Podcast, and tour some of the great stadiums in the game. One stop I plan on making is in London and when I do I look forward to doing a twofootedtackle podcast together!



You can read more about Jared Montz Soccer at Jared's website. Don't forget to check out his blog and videos, and follow him on Twitter, @jaredmontz. Jared, thanks for your time.

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How to crack the 'Big Four'

Monday, 13 April 2009

The increasingly predictable dominance of the so-called 'Big Four' is having an adverse effect on both the Premier League and on wider European football.

Domestically, the four teams in control of UEFA Champions League qualification - Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal - have become a closed shop, despite Everton's admirable dethroning of Liverpool in 2005.

Although European success typically rotates on a country cycle (i.e. Spain dominates for a few years, the Italy), there is an argument now that the Premier League's ability to attract huge revenue is taking English football into a position of strength on the continent which could blow the cyclical pattern out of the water.

Last season, England's four Champions League representatives had to beat each other to see any of them knocked out. Three played in the semi finals, and two in the final. This year, all four made the quarter finals - though Villarreal and Porto will fancy their chances of rocking the boat.

Whatever the reason, many football supporters see the dominance of these four teams as a serious problem. Of course, it's all about money. Cash breeds success, and success breeds cash.

Chelsea bought their success, there's no two ways about that. Manchester United have brilliantly exploited their support and resources, while Arsenal appointed a genius as manager and spent wisely where he deemed necessary. Over time, Liverpool have finally built a team worthy of a title challenge, thereby securing their place in the top four.

Of course, it's no coincidence that we talk about a 'Big Four' and there are four Champions League spots. It's a situation which is unsustainable, unappealing and fundamentally damaging to English football, which should be based on competition, not monopoly.

So, from this point on let's take it as a given that something must be done. For the rest of this post, I'll be presenting a few of the suggested solutions I've heard, and then adding my own.

Financial restrictions

Financial restrictions, such as salary capping, spending limits and revenue/outlay ratios would all, on the face of it, stunt the growing gap between the top four and the rest of the Premier League. But that's all they would do. This is no way to close the gap, as it would simply consolidate the positions of the league's teams, leaving the best of the rest hamstrung in their battle to crack the leading group.

Of course it's entirely academic (as are all of these suggestions), because the power sits in the hands of the big boys. They'd never let it happen.

Six plus five

Then, we have Sepp Blatter's six plus five proposal. Supporters of this scheme, which I have gradually come to oppose, often argue that it will help close the gap underneath the top four as well as improve the pool of domestic players available for the national team.

For me, that's simply not true. In much the same way as financial restrictions, I believe that anything that pauses the state of play in its current situation merely retains an uneven playing field. In this case, the best young English players would all end up at the biggest club. Basics, really.

Champions League Playoffs

Another suggestion I've heard about is a playoff for the final Champions League spot. The top three go into their respective stages in the competition on the continent, while the fourth and fifth - or the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh - play off for the final spot.

Granted, this might have an effect, but I just don't like it as a concept. As much as I hate the status quo, the idea of the "wrong" team playing in the Champions League seems rather silly. I think they tried this out in Holland or somewhere and it went down like a lead balloon, and I see no reason for it to be more successful here.

Introduce some competition

So, no satisfactory solution yet. But I have an idea, and it's one which would have Michel Platini foaming at the anti-English mouth. The problem is that he is the only man with the power to take this decision and he wouldn't dare.

The idea? Take a Champions League slot away from England. This would introduce a bit of spice into the top four, break up their cosy little cartel. Wouldn't it be nice to end the assumption that United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool are going to be the top four, instead watching them fight it out between themselves to not be the poor sods that drop out.

It may hinge upon a bit of a conspiracy theory (the top four looks after itself), but you have to admit it'd be fun to see them scrap it out. And when one does, and then another, it opens the field right up.

(Photo: Sporting Life)


Posted by Chris Nee


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MLS: Real Salt Lake 2-1 DC United

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Week four in the Major League Soccer regular season and DC United travelled to Real Salt Lake's Rio Tinto Stadium with a record of one win and two draws. Real had a win and a loss under their belts.

United were without the suspended Jaime Moreno and legendary Ben Olsen, while Real were seeking back-to-back home wins.

A lively start saw both sides create chances but unable to add the finishing touch. RSL had control of possession early on in front of their home crowd but United looked threatening on the break. There were no clear-cut chances in the first 20 minutes.

Louis Crayton for DCU made the first save, comfortably fielding a header from dangerous Real forward Robbie Findley. At the other end, Christian Gomez crossed twice only for both attempts to be returned to him, then hit a weak shot wide of the RSL goal.

Luciano Emilio had an opportunity to put DC ahead. Brazilian midfielder Fred was played in on the right hand side of the penalty area and curved a perfect cross onto Emilio's head. Fred's compatriot could only direct his header well wide.

A few seconds later Salt Lake skipper Kyle Beckerman hit a daisy cutter from distance which called Crayton into action once again. United's keeper was able to palm the shot away from goal.

In the 38th minute, DC United took the lead with Luciano Emilio's third goal in three games. Neat football for United found rookie Chris Pontius in space on the edge of the box, and he chose to chip the ball in for Emilio, who finished with an easy header for 1-0.

It took RSL only two minutes to respond, and it was an horrific Crayton error which allowed it. Will Johnson found Jamison Olave, and Crayton spilled the Colombian's header into the corner of the net to level things up before half time.

The second half began with Beckerman rattling the DC crossbar with a left footed shot from the edge of the penalty area. Crayton was beaten hands down and RSL were unlucky not to lead, but United responded well.

As the hour approached all the momentum was with DC United, who were almost camped in their opponents' half. But it was Findley who found himself with the best chance of the half so far after Crayton flapped at a deep cross.

With that, Real took the initiative, led by the excellent Kyle Beckerman. A minute later Findley was prevented by a last ditch tackle after brilliantly bringing down a long ball over the top. DC were hanging on.

In the 73rd, Crayton made up for his errors with a wonderful save. Chris Wingert bent a cross in and Yura Movsisyan thumped a header towards goal, but Crayton was equal to it despite its power. A Salt Lake goal seemed more and more likely.

With ten minutes to go, Real finally took the lead. Will Johnson and Kyle Beckerman worked excellently together to play a searching ball into Findley, who deftly touched the ball off for Javier Morales to fire the ball home for 2-1. Johnson nearly grabbed a third in the 84th minute.

In the end, it was a deserved victory for Real Salt Lake. They shaded the match and looked that bit more threatening than DC United.

(Photo: Soccernet)


Posted by Chris Nee


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twofootedtackle podcast 4 preview

Saturday, 11 April 2009

We're halfway through a goal-filled highly entertaining packed Easter bank holiday fixture list, with Mr twofootedtackle and myself doing our best to see as many games as possible during the period. It also means we're planning the next podcast for you lovely people.

We've got a corking guest in this week in the shape of Chris Oakley, the founder of the excellent Some People Are On The Pitch blog. Although it could get confusing with two people named Chris in the studio. I may have to think up alternative names for them both.
As ever, we'll be looking at the weekend's MLS and Premier League fixtures, while there'll be a little extra chat about West Ham. You know, that other London team rooted in mid-table. They do still exist you know.
Talking of forgotten aspects of football, we'll also be discussing our plans for world domin... sorry, the Europa LDV Milk Cup League, formerly known as the UEFA Cup. It used to be interesting at some point in recent history, but don't ask us when that was.
There'll also be a look at the tight title race for Ligue 1 in France and a chat about why the Conference South isn't fond of students.
On a more serious note, we'll also be discussing the legacy of Hillsborough and the impact it's had on football in Britain today.
Remember, due to the bank holiday, the podcast will be recorded a day later while we get on with important stuff like watching football, although you don't have to wait for us to say when we've posted it online - subscribe to us on iTunes.
Happy Easter.

Posted by Gary A


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Premier League Liveblog, 11th April 2009

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Premier League title race: the run-in

After a few posts covering podcasts, non-league and Major League Soccer, it's back to basics for me today - back into my comfort zone. This afternoon, I'll be live-blogging the 3pm kick-offs in the Premier League.

But now, with 15 minutes left until Liverpool and Blackburn Rovers kick off at Anfield, I'm going to have a look at the Premier League title race. To be honest I'm surprised there even is one at this point, and that speaks volumes for the determination shown by Liverpool and Chelsea, and a bit of a slip by Manchester United.

Manchester United, 68 points

Twice this season I've called the title race in Manchester United's favour, and I'm surprised I've not yet been proven right. United's form has wobbled like almost never before.

A 4-1 home hammering at the hands of Liverpool blew the battle wide open, and the "inevitable" backlash at Fulham turned into another defeat as Danny Murphy and Zoltan Gera bagged three points for the Cottagers.

The major advantage for United is not the one point cushion ahead of Liverpool but the game in hand over both chasing sides.

United appear to have a favourable run-in. The away matches are at Sunderland and Middlesbrough, both apparently desperate to get relegated, and Wigan and Hull. The latter pair are not easy trips, but should be unproblematic at the business end of the season.

Portsmouth and Spurs shouldn't cause too many worries at home, but the sticking points are the final two matches at Old Trafford. Manchester City and Arsenal can both be slippery customers at Old Trafford, and United will need to be on their game to pick up six points.

Liverpool, 67 points

For Liverpool, the crunch time is now. If they can win today, in emotional circumstances, and overcome the very difficult visit of Arsenal in the next match, confidence will be high. Liverpool had been on rip-roaring form before losing to Chelsea in the Champions League, and will be looking to get back onto steady footing today.

Visits to Hull and West Brom should bring six points, but a difficult trip to Upton Park could threaten Liverpool's challenge. But after thrashing Manchester United and then Aston Villa, Mad Rafa's men have shown they're more than capable of overcoming tough matches.

Newcastle United at home should be an easy win, but I can't imagine the last day visit of Spurs will be a walk in the park. I'm sure one Robbie Keane would agree.

Chelsea, 64 points

Just four points back, it would be stupid to rule out Chelsea even at this late stage. They're just the type of team that loves to get the bit between their teeth and go on a huge run of wins.

They have four home games versus three aways, and they'll fancy a twelve-point maximum against Bolton, Everton, Fulham and Blackburn.

Away from Stamford Bridge, a sticky visit to West Ham will be overcome if Chelsea have a good game, while Sunderland on the last day should be a nailed-on win. The toughest challenge awaiting Chelsea is a trip to the Emirates to face Arsenal, themselves with plenty to play for.

The twofootedtackle verdict

I still can't see past Manchester United to retain the Premier League title. I believe Chelsea will come on strong and possibly win almost everything thrown at them, but the four-point gap to United will be too much. Liverpool remain a threat, but I think United's game in hand will be won and I can't see United dropping four more points than Liverpool.

Let me know what you think.


Posted by Chris Nee


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Late Terrors for Tonbridge

Friday, 10 April 2009

Drizzle, tea and mud. Three words one wouldn't necessarily associate with football culture - well, two words one wouldn't necessarily associate with football culture. But that's what Easter football in the Ryman Premier League was about this afternoon.

Tooting & Mitcham United hosted high-flying Tonbridge Angels at Imperial Fields this afternoon, and they laid on some real holiday entertainment.

Even a goalless first half was gripping. Tooting were easily second best for much of the half but Tonbridge were unable to make the most of their chances. Tooting goalkeeper Dave King was largely comfortable.

The officials were less so. The referee was appalling all afternoon, not helped by a gormless assistant who looked like he was just pleased to have a day outside the mental hospital.

In the first half, the ref dismissed a blatant elbow (there was another in second half injury time) and failed to give Tooting a certain penalty.

In the second, he didn't send off a player for denying a clear goalscoring opportunity (maybe twice), didn't bother to even speak to a player who pushed an opponent in the face during an altercation, and played an awful advantage after Terrors striker Dean McDonald was assaulted by the Angels left back. He then told the Tonbridge goalkeeper to put the ball at and decided not to book the offender.

Don't worry though, the defender got his - in style.

After the break, Tonbridge's control of the game strengthened. They were physically stronger than their hosts, and just that bit more assured on the ball. It was no surprise when Angels streaked to a 2-0 lead, particularly with the abject officiating favouring them rather heavily. At that point, it seemed like it was all over - but Billy Smith's boys were having none of it.

At 2-0 down, Terrors really started playing, getting their passing together for the first time in the game. And with five minutes left they were back in the game. A deep cross from the right found left back Andy Howell who arrived right on cue and placed it back across the goalkeeper with a clever sidefoot volley.

But there was no hint of that being a consolation, as Tooting kept battling. In the last minute, McDonald was dumped on his arse in the area and made no mistake with a penalty under pressure.

And McDonald didn't miss his opportunity to taunt the defender who'd pole-axed him earlier - even ruffling his lovely long hair. An amusing moment in fantastic afternoon's entertainment.

(Photo: Tooting Life)


Posted by Chris Nee


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Fancy a game at Stamford Bridge?

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Believe it or not, I get quite a few pitches these days. I tend to direct them towards the cylindrical file unless they a) say something I like or b) offer something worthwhile for my readers.

The video above is a promotional video from Samsungfootball.co.uk, who got in touch earlier this week to ask if I'd write a post about their latest competition.

So, if you want to play a match at Stamford Bridge against "football legends" (I don't know, before you ask), and get sent off by Dermot Gallagher, I suggest you click the link above. The game is followed by a stadium tour, a three-course gala dinner and a night in the Millennium & Copthorne Hotel Stamford Bridge.

It's not really my bag, but I'm sure there's one or two of you who might be interested in having a game. You know where to go. But be warned: you'll be greeted by a video of Tony Cascarino.


Posted by Chris Nee


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A to Z of Football: N is for...

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

...Non-League

Yeah, so I go on about it quite a lot but non-league football is important. Football is our national game, it's an essential part of our character and - believe it or not - it doesn't begin and end with the Premier League.

The real heart of English football lies in the fact that it's played from the top to the bottom of our society. Non-league has a real charm about it, it's home to the game's true characters, not the media whores of the Premier League.

At non-league football this season I've had a cheeky stroke of the FA Cup, had a beer with Brian Barwick, touched the match ball, stood next to a man wearing no shoes and enjoyed Tooting manager Billy Smith's touchline antics. That is what football's about.

...Nazi Germany

I don't often blow Aston Villa's trumpet on twofootedtackle, but I'm going to here. On May 14th 1938, England played Germany in Berlin and - as the picture above (from the Daily Mail) shows - gave a Nazi salute.

The following day, Aston Villa played a Germany XI. They refused to salute.

The legendary Eric Houghton played his part in instigating this refusal, and has since said that "they said we'd got to give the Nazi salute, you see, so we went to the centre of the field and gave them the two finger salute and they cheered like mad. They thought it was all right. They didn't know what the two fingers meant."

...Narcissism

nar⋅cis⋅sism. Noun. "Inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity."

Sadly, narcissism is the defining characteristic of the modern day top flight footballer - and many below. I don't like to be too negative about the game, but the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba, John Terry and David Bentley make me sick as a dog.

And Gabriel Agbonlahor drives a white Lamborghini. Doesn't that just say it all?

...NASL

The North American Soccer League, Major League Soccer's predecessor in the USA and Canada kicked off in the late 1960s and lasted until 1984. The most famous legacy of the NASL was the New York Cosmos, a club which played home to the likes of Pele and Franz Beckenbauer and, according to Wikipedia, drew up to 40,000 supporters on a good day.

Other familiar names included the Tampa Bay Rowdies, San Jose Earthquakes and soon-to-be MLS expansion club Vancouver Whitecaps.

There's no need to tell the NASL story all over again, but it is seen by many European commentators as a blueprint for how MLS shouldn't operate. There were many factors behind the league's demise, but over here we tend to blame the signing of the world's greatest players in a nation that simply wasn't ready for them.

That's one of the reasons we saw David Beckham's move to Los Angeles as a little bit dubious.

Don't forget - the twofootedtackle A to Z of Football is a weekly feature, and your contributions would be welcome and appreciated. If you'd like a football term discussed, feel free to leave a comment and I'll look into it.


Posted by Chris Nee


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The American Condition and Major League Soccer

This is a guest post by Jason Davis of Match Fit USA. Jason is an a-class Major League Soccer blogger and also hosts an excellent podcast, which comes highly recommended.

As an American fan of the world's game that actively follows Major League Soccer, it's difficult to avoid developing a inferiority complex.

I'm constantly told that my national team is crap, that my domestic league is terrible, and that I'm wasting my time worrying about either of them.

Like most people, when faced with outright disdain for something I care about, my instinct is to get angry. I want to yell and scream, fire off a barrage of invectives, and give the critics the lambasting I feel they deserve for denigrating my team/league/country.

Only, that's not the most constructive response. Besides, this is football and I'm American, so I'd only make it worse; my opinion doesn't matter, and I can't possibly know what I'm talking about. Right? I'm sure all of you reading this are having a nice laugh at my expense, jaws unhinged while you mock the pathetic Yank. Feel free to head to my blog American soccer blog, Match Fit USA and let me know just how sad I truly am.

Bah.

There's that inferiority complex, rearing its ugly head. Excuse me for a moment while I shake it off.

Perhaps I'm being unfair. Maybe I'm painting with a broad brush, allowing a small segment of critics to color my perception of the whole football community. But you can certainly understand my frustration. Americans are caught in-between, forced to forge our own football identities in a culture that has yet to embrace the sport. This means making a conscious choice about whether to care about our domestic league, a situation that has few parallels around the world. Our version of the game, at least on the club level, is so far behind the European big time that it seems to outsiders to be a pathetic exercise to even bother caring. Though, if we don't care and we forsake the domestic league completely, then it will go the way of the NASL, and America will once again be without a major national competition.

There are plenty of Americans who would be fine with the demise of MLS, who would go on following foreign clubs and leagues without giving a second thought to the death of another one in the United States. These people depress me. Their mindset diverges from mine so completely that I can barely comprehend it. Where would small domestic leagues all around the world be if people simply stopped caring because the foreign product is better? I shudder at the thought. Yet, in my country, where the sport exists on the fringe and needs as much support as it can get, the mindset proliferates.

It's human nature to want acceptance. In our school days, we spend more effort than we truly should on our social standing; we make sure to wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, and say the right things. Many American football fans treat their status as soccer fans as a popularity contest; by turning their back on MLS and decrying its quality as substandard, they make themselves seem more knowledgeable, more worthy of acceptance by Europeans who laugh at America's attempts to play the sport. The "cool kids" think Major League Soccer is a joke, and since American football fans desperately want to be cool, they go out of their way to announce that they think it's a joke, too. Enabled by British ex-pats with radio shows (among others), they feel justified in their attitude, and remain oblivious to the damage they're doing to the American game.

Major League Soccer doesn't struggle because the United States cannot support the game, or because Americans are anti-soccer as a rule; Major League Soccer struggles because a large segment of the potential audience turns their collective back on the league, refusing to support something that doesn't meet some arbitrary standard that they themselves don't truly understand.

Perhaps that's not as large a revelation as I make it out to be.

Simply put though, it's the most frustrating thing about following the game in this country. It's not enough love the sport, to support your local side, or to enjoy every version of the game available (as I do); too many here feel it necessary to place themselves above the supposedly unrefined average American fan by actively disparaging MLS, vehemently attacking anyone who uses the word "soccer", or just refusing to believe that anything of football-worth can come out of the United States.

Forgive me if I don't share that viewpoint. Call me crazy for believing that Americans will one day be among the best players in the world, and that MLS will compete with established European leagues for both players and global attention. I should probably be committed for being certain that MLS will one day be a top five league in the world.

Is hope really such a bad thing?

Maybe I'm the one that's got it wrong. Maybe I shouldn't care about Major League Soccer. Maybe all of those Euro centric Americans, whom I could never accuse of not being passionate about the game, have it right; money and history are all that matter, and since Major League Soccer has neither, I'm wasting my time. I might be better off ignoring it altogether, and focusing my attention on clubs and leagues an ocean away. Forget cultural differences, language barriers and geographical separation; what really should matter to me is that by some subjective measure, Major League Soccer is second-rate.

Maybe that's all true. But I just can't do it.

I'll be watching Premier League matches this weekend. I might even catch some Italian matches, or search out a way to see some of the La Liga action. I'll enjoy it because it's football and it's world-class. I'll enjoy watching Ronaldo and Rooney, Pato and Kaka, Messi and Henry, and all of the other stars that those leagues possess. But when all of that is done, when clocks in London and Barcelona tick over to the evening hours and there is no more European football to be had, I won't hesitate to flip over to Major League Soccer. And I know I'll enjoy it just as much, world-class stars or not, because it's my league.

I guess second-rate is good enough for me.

This missive was an effort to give a bit of insight into the American dilemma; a Catch-22 of epic proportions exists for professional soccer in the United States. Second-rate means less attention, and less attention means less growth, which will obviously only hamper efforts to improve the league. I lay it out here because Chris has been kind enough to give me the forum, and because I believe that an opportunity for mutual understanding should never be ignored. Excuse my use of both "soccer" and "football". I tend to use them interchangeably on my blog Match Fit USA.

(Photo: The Shots Heard Around The World)


Posted by Chris Nee


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twofootedtackle podcast: Episode 3

Another Tuesday, another podcast - and we're quite pleased with this one. Gary and I were lucky enough to be joined in Studio 31 by Luton Town fan Ben Shaw, barely 24 hours after he watched his side's extra time win over Scunthorpe in the Johnstones Paint Trophy final at Wembley.

In the pod this week, we looked at Newcastle's appointment of Alan Shearer, the bottom of League Two, Luton, Southampton and Major League Soccer, and a couple of other bits and pieces besides.

Episode 3 is now available on iTunes - just search for twofootedpodcast.

However, if you'd prefer to listen on your computer you can click through to the MP3 directly.

The music, by the way, is an as-yet-untitled number by London-based UK hip hop producer extraordinaire The Last Skeptik, who kindly gave us permission to use it. It's a little different to the stuff I've heard from him before, but I thoroughly (genuinely) recommend his album with Verb T, Broken Window.

So, thanks to Skeptik for the beats, and thanks to Ben for the company.

In this week's debate, Gary and I tossed a coin and went toe-to-toe on matters of Major League Soccer. Ben, in his wisdom, voted on the side of my good self (FOR), leaving Gary (AGAINST) on the back foot. You can make one of us very happy by voting below. See y'all next week.


Posted by Chris Nee


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twofootedtackle podcast 3 preview

Monday, 6 April 2009

Is it really that time already? No sooner had we wrapped up Episode 2 than planning began for Episode 3. Fortunately, football's helped us out a bit by providing some great stories.

This week we're joined by Luton Town fan Ben Shaw.

After suffering near-certain relegation from the Football League thanks to a 30-point penalty, Luton have given their season a bang by taking their supporters to Wembley and winning yesterday's Johnstone's Paint Trophy final. 40,000 Town fans made it to the match and Ben was there. We'll get the lowdown in the pod.

We'll also look at the situation at the bottom of League Two, Newcastle United's appointment of Alan Shearer as interim-interim manager, the Premier League relegation battle and these two morons:

And, in the second of our debates, Gary and I will fight it out over Major League Soccer's league table format - after discussing the weekend's results, of course.

So keep your eyes peeled. Episode 3 is on its way.

(Photo: Setanta)


Posted by Chris Nee


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WCQ: England 2-1 Ukraine

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

As England and Ukraine kicked off at Wembley tonight, England - resplendent in their new strip (their new bloody £50 strip!) - were comfortably in control of World Cup Qualifying Group Six in Europe. Four wins from four saw Fabio Capello's men to a five-point lead over Croatia and Ukraine.

Even I was confident, and had predicted not only that we would win this game, but also that we'd win it to nil and not drop a single point in qualifying. Big words.

Right on seven minutes, Wayne Rooney made himself the first chance of the match in some style. Steven Gerrard played a low cross slightly behind the Manchester United forward who got a touch to control the ball away from goal and sent a technically perfect overhead kick just over the crossbar.

Six minutes later Rooney was at it again. Peter Crouch brilliantly won the ball in the air and nodded it back to Rooney, who deftly skinned his marker before being pole-axed 22 yards from goal. Gerrard placed the resulting free kick just inches wide.

The opening exchanges were far from one-sided. The visitors had plenty of the ball without being too threatening, and limited England's play by pressing hard all over the pitch and matching our aerial ability.

England were desperately unlucky not to go ahead in the 26th minute after a quick break involving some excellent one-touch football by Rooney, Gerrard and Frank Lampard. Picked out by Lampard on the left wing, Rooney sent a great ball over to Aaron Lennon who was unable to make the pressure tell.

Soon after, England were ahead. Skipper John Terry headed down a far post corner and the long legs of Peter Crouch let him reach the ball in front of the goalkeeper to volley it into the roof of the net - with a helping hand from the keeper on the way. Simple but effective.

Throughout the first half, Rooney was excellent and was able to pass from left to right to Lennon for fun. Gerrard pressed forward well and Lampard's touch was sure and efficient. Still, Ukraine pushed hard and caused a few problems for England, but 1-0 was the half time score.

By the break it was clear that Lennon was doing very little, and what he was doing were things David Beckham will do better even when he's in his fifties: controlling the ball and delivering a cross. He provided no penetration and precious little otherwise. But more than Gareth Barry, who was made to look even slower than usual in picking up an early booking and was lucky to get away without conceding a penalty.

In the first few minutes of the second half, England had more possession as the game opened up, but were far too wasteful. Lennon and Ashley Cole were the most frequent guilty parties. But England remained the more threatening of the two sides.

On for the appalling Lennon, David Beckham came close just after the hour. Wayne Rooney was fouled on 20 yards and Beckham's bending free kick had the goalkeeper flailing but flew just wide and over. It would've been his first England goal at Wembley.

But it was another substitute that netted the next goal, and he wasn't English. Shocking defending by Glen Johnson from a Ukraine free kick left Andriy Shevchenko with nothing to do but blast the equaliser past David James. It wasn't really deserved, but England's defending had long been shaky.

On 78 minutes, Fabio Capello substituted Peter Crouch to bring on Shaun Wright-Phillips. Crouch didn't look injured, and it was a decision reminiscent of Steve McClaren's worst moments. That anybody would take off Crouch while searching for a goal speaks volumes for the harsh reputation he has in this country full of idiots.

But with five minutes left, it was Shevchenko's former colleague John Terry who dragged England back into the lead. A lovely free kick from Beckham found its way onto Gerrard's head and Terry swept in the nod-down with ease.

So that's five wins from five and a growing lead in Group Six. The performance wasn't perfect and wasn't as incisive as I'd hoped, but England got the job done. Wayne Rooney was excellent, Gareth Barry anonymous, and Aaron Lennon and Ashley Cole simply shocking. But there was plenty of heart after slipping back to 1-1 and the fight got us through. Well done England.

(Photo: BBC Sport)


Posted by Chris Nee


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Fireworks in the Blue Square as Lewes become first to drop

Be honest, you've been itching to see which club from the first five divisions would be the first to suffer relegation in 2009. Well, itch no more - Blue Square Premier side Lewes fell foul of external results last Tuesday and their long-awaited doom was confirmed.

But the humiliation of being relegated with a full week remaining in March is the least of the Sussex club's concerns. Just as news of draws for York City and Grays Athletic rolled in on Tuesday evening, Lewes' managing director Martin Elliott was weighing up some rather important possibilities.

Just 48 hours after Lewes' survival became mathematically impossible, the cut-off point - the moment at which ten-point deductions come into play next season instead of this - passed.

Despite Lewes hanging by a thread financially, Elliott chose to take a risk by not bringing in the administrators before Thursday.

While many supporters were probably expecting the club to sacrifice a non-consequential ten points this term, Lewes - winners only four times this season - have decided to fight on.

This, according to Martin Elliott, is because there is more to administration than deciding when to say cheerio to a few points.

He contends that there are no advantages from administration for Lewes:

  • Going into administration costs a lot of money, which could just go to creditors
  • The club would still have to pay those creditors in full
  • Failure to do so by June would put the club's Conference membership at risk

But there are complications. While Elliott has been talking to "a number of interested people", administration remains a possibility. On top of risking contravention of the Conference rules, this would now mean kicking off 2009/10 in the Blue Square South with minus ten points.

But it gets worse: one of the club's creditors, Portakabin, has taken time out from building stands for Birmingham City (chuckle) to issue a winding-up order. The petition will be heard this week, with a further statement expected from the club on a similar timescale.

So, has Martin Elliott made the right decision in fighting for the best outcome for Lewes Football Club, or has he just been playing fast and loose with its fortunes?

Without a buyer, administration looks likely. Let's hope Lewes don't regret missing their chance to ditch the points and run.

(Photo: Viva Art)


Posted by Chris Nee


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Shearer marches to his own Toon

In keeping with much of Newcastle's season it seems somewhat fitting that they chose April Fool's Day to unveil Alan Shearer as their interim manager until the end of the season.

As football fans emerged blinking into the morning sun it all seemed like a wonderfully orchestrated practical joke until it became quite clear that Mike Ashley was deadly serious about appointing the Newcastle legend. And then came Iain Dowie.

The overwhelming urge of non-Geordies may have been to try, and fail, to suppress laughter. Shearer, for all his prowess on the field, has never shown anything to suggest there's a great manager or tactician in there, as regular viewers of Match of the Day will no doubt attest to.

What's more, the lure of a comfy sofa and a studio have always proven to be more enticing, even when Newcastle were in better positions than they are now. On the face of it, this appears to be another one of Ashley's more eccentric decisions, albeit one that will go down well with the Toon faithful.

But while this may look very much like a last desperate roll of the dice, it may also be a smart move for all concerned, even if there's the potential for either Newcastle or Ashley to lose big on this gamble.

Ashley has very little to lose and possibly may be smarter than people give him credit for. Kinnear, while a surprising choice - and one who was roundly mocked at the start - did a decent if unspectacular job in the circumstances. His expletive-laden outburst took the pressure off his players and he had the experience to be able to pull a few decent results out of the bag.

Shearer, though, is a very different type of person than Kinnear. He has little experience or qualifications for the job, bar being a Geordie legend. He is also a huge monkey that Tyneside has needed to get off their back for a long time now.

With every fresh managerial vacancy, Shearer's name has been mentioned. His presence has loomed over every Newcastle manager bar Keegan since he retired as Toon fans wait, not so patiently, for their favourite son to return and lead them to glory.

Some may ask why now, but Shearer, for all his lack of insight on the sofa, is no mug. He knows his standing within Newcastle and also knows that if he took the job at the wrong time that could rapidly plummet if results don't go his way. Which is why now is the perfect time for him to take the job.

By taking the job until the end of the season, Shearer can't lose. If he fails and Newcastle go down, the blame can easily be laid at Ashley and others at the club. If he succeeds and Newcastle stay up then his status will be cemented and he has no obligation to stay on.

If Shearer does go at the end of the season, especially if the Magpies do go down, then that will go some way to exorcising his presence from whoever steps up to take the job, but Shearer can still depart with his head held high.

And you never know - often players at a struggling club react well to a new appointment in the short-term, and Shearer is certainly that. He may not be a great manager but he could be a shot of adrenaline the team needs.

People may point to the likes of Jurgen Klinsmann as proof that a legendary player can succeed (although you suspect some German fans will beg to differ), but Shearer's situation is closer to that of Gianfranco Zola at West Ham who was widely assumed to be too inexperienced but has turned the Hammers into a decent team.

The only difference is that Zola has had most of the season to learn the ropes. Shearer does not have that time or luxury.

On paper Newcastle are that most cliched of football cliches - too good to go down. However, that's no guarantee they'll escape the drop. Shearer may or may not be able to save them from the Championship but he'll not do himself any harm in the process.

(Photo: BBC Sport)


Posted by Gary A


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About

twofootedtackle is a football blog edited by Chris Nee. It covers all areas of football, with a special focus on the Premier League and Major League Soccer.

The podcast, co-presented by Chris Nee and Gary Andrews, is available via iTunes every Wednesday.

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