twofootedtackle Player of the Year 2008/9

The FA Cup Final and Champions League Final are over and done with and the voting is closed. Conveniently enough, we got a nice crisp 100 votes overall and came out with a clear winner.

Throughout the voting, two names stood out and were neck and neck up until the final few days. The eventual winner edged out Manchester United defender Nemanja Vidic, and has already been awarded Football Writers' Player of the Year and made the PFA award shortlist.

Ladies and gentlemen, with 23% of the vote this year's twofootedtackle Player of the Year is Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard.

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FA Cup Final Liveblog

Join me at 2.45pm for the FA Cup Final live.

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twofootedtackle at Soccerlens

A few days ago I had a chat with Ahmed over at Soccerlens about making more regular contributions on Major League Soccer.

This week's article is a look at the strengths, form and prospects of Chicago Fire, the form team in the States at the moment. I'll try to write these MLS articles partly with the UK-based MLS newbie in mind - because I am one.

Hope you enjoy.

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Fantasy Football Fight #3: Elliott v Young

Last week's bout saw Diego Maradona defeated by Paul Gascoigne in FFF #2, amassing an impressive 60% of the vote.

This week, we celebrate Burnley's promotion to the Premier League by pitting Wembley goal hero Wade Elliott against the top flight's previous leading sliver o' nowt, Aston Villa's Ashley Young. No whacking off allowed.

Given the physical attributes of this week's contenders, I've decided to permit slapping for one week only.

Please vote for your winner in the poll below, and remember I'd love your suggestions for future match-ups - for example, Karren Brady v the US Army.

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Wonderful Barcelona win Champions League

If, by some fluke of fate, you missed tonight's UEFA Champions League Final in Rome, I strongly suggest you Sky+ the re-run and watch it over, and over, and over again.

Pep Guardiola's Barcelona side produced the best team performance I can remember - yes, I'm relatively young - if not the best in my lifetime. It was, quite simply, the beautiful game at its absolute peak. And to perform like that on the world's biggest stage is all the more impressive.

Carlos Puyol lifted the trophy after a 2-0 win over Manchester United, capping off a fine individual performance in which he was variously faced with Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney and triumphed almost without fail. Barca's weakened backline held firm and formed the basis of the most assured performance you could ever hope to see.

In the middle of the park, Andres Iniesta and Xavi were majestic, anchoring the kind of slick, crisp passing which even last year's stunning Spain side could only have dreamed of. Xavi's cross for the vital second goal was beyond perfect.

And the man who scored that goal tonight put himself at the summit of world football with a display which outshone Ronaldo by some distance. Lionel Messi took the chance to impress on the big stage and deserved his goal, a brilliantly executed header with 20 minutes left on the clock. Samuel Eto'o and Thierry Henry were solid support acts.

As a team, Barca were peerless. If ever you're asked why you love football so much, this is your answer. Forgive the fawning, but I think they deserve it.

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twofootedtackle podcast Episode 10

What's three people wide, high on giggling and way too long? twofootedtackle podcast Episode 10, of course!

To mark our first landmark show, Gary Andrews and I invited Terry Duffelen of SPAOTP and The Onion Bag to return to the pod to talk about the beautiful game. We spoke about the end of the domestic seasons in England and Germany, with a focus on Newcastle United's relegation from the Premier League and Wolfsburg's incredible Bundesliga triumph.

We also touched on a few lower and non-league clubs suffering from financial difficulties, the price of tickets for England Schoolboys' clash with France and the future of Gordon Strachan. On top of all that, we rounded up the weekend's Major League Soccer action and debated whether Everton will win the FA Cup. You can vote on that in the sidebar on the left.

To listen to the podcast, you can click straight through to this MP3, or search for twofootedpodcast on iTunes.

The blog posts we discussed came from Narey's Toepoker and Footbo.

Have your say

You'll be pleased/pissed off to learn that the podcast will continue over the summer months, albeit it a bit less regularly and probably in a slightly different format. We'd like to know if you have any suggestions for the summer shows, and you can help us out by joining the (potential) thread on Facebook.

And while you're at it, why not tell all your friends about the Facebook page? You know you want to.

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Video of the Week #3

Nothing like a good old Italian scrap to brighten up a Sunday afternoon. Torino and Genoa obliged this weekend.

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Weekend Roundup

That's it folks, the English football season is all but over. The FA Cup final is still to come, as is Manchester United's involvement in the Champions League final in Rome. But to all intents and purposes it's over, and what a final weekend it's been.

Premier League

With Sunderland, Hull City, Newcastle United and Middlesbrough all still under threat from relegation, they all did the brave thing and lost.

Sunderland were beaten by Chelsea, and Nicolas Anelka waltzed from his own half to score the goal that earned him the Golden Boot. After the game, Ricky Sbragia and chairman Niall Quinn announced that Sbragia was stepping back from the manager's office and the club would be looking for a big name. I'm sure Gordon Strachan noted this development with interest as he prepared his resignation from Celtic.

Middlesbrough slumped to a 2-1 defeat at West Ham United, confirming their relegation to the Championship. Steve Gibson is relentlessly held up as the last bastion of good chairmanship, but loyalty to Gareth Southgate is beginning to make him look like a mug.

So, it was between Hull and Newcastle to fight it out to avoid the last relegation spot. Hull fought, and Newcastle didn't - but both lost. Manchester United's weakened team held on to a 1-0 win against Hull, but Newcastle couldn't capitalise. They didn't force a single second half save from Brad Friedel at Aston Villa after Damien Duff's own goal had put Villa in front.

West Bromwich Albion, Middlesbrough and Newcastle United are relegated from the Premier League to the Championship.

Elsewhere, Everton's victory at Fulham secured fifth place ahead of Villa but Tottenham Hotspur's defeat at the hands of Liverpool ensured that Fulham will join Everton and Villa in the Europa League next season.

Predictably, Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal will play in the Champions League.

Play-offs

It's been a busy weekend at Wembley, where six teams have battled it out to gain promotion.

On Saturday, Gillingham deservedly beat Shrewsbury Town to win promotion to League One. But it was a tough win - Gillingham struggled to beat an heroic goalkeeper but eventually scored in the last minute thanks to a Simeon Jackson header.

Yesterday it was time for Millwall and Scunthorpe United to play for a place in the Championship. Scunthorpe led, then Millwall led, and eventually the Irons won 3-2. Sounds like a great match, doesn't it? Anyway, with the despicable trio of Leeds United, Millwall and MK Dons making up the bracket, we should all be thankful to Scunthorpe for their triumph.

And this afternoon came the big one. Burnley, managed by the bookies' favourite to take the Celtic job, Owen Coyle, beat Sheffield United 1-0 at Wembley to win a place in the Premier League. Wade Elliott won it with a wonderful curling finish. I watched Wade a lot when he was at Bournemouth, and he's a class act. If he's bulked up since those days, he'll do well in the top flight and I'm bloody chuffed for him. Well done Wade!

So that's it. Enjoy your summer (not that I'm going anywhere, this blog will continue to fill your head with nonsense over the break).

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Newcastle fall victim to The Legend Delusion

Watching Sky Sports News this morning, the grieving over Newcastle United's relegation made me want to take an electric whisk to my eyeballs. Despite this, I have some thoughts on the matter so I'm going to feed the hype monster anyway.

Let's have it right, Newcastle are in deep shit. I don't think they'll 'do a Leeds' but getting relegated to the Championship with a squad full of highly paid players calls for change.

However, it's not just on the pitch that change must be made. Here's where I think it went wrong, what I think needs to be done and, probably, why it won't happen.

"Best fans in the world"

While I do think the supporters of Newcastle United are a hugely irritating bunch, I have no desire to slag them off here - I'll do that in the pub.

But they undoubtedly have an adverse effect on the club because they are allowed to do so by weak owners. I believe strongly in fan engagement, but supporters should not be able to force key decisions when they are clearly wrong. In order for Newcastle to rebuild, Mike Ashley needs to learn to say no to the supporters. Hilariously Sadly, I can't see him having the bollocks.

The Legend Delusion

Keggy Keegle is not a good football manager. Everybody outside Newcastle knows it, and Keegle himself knows it - that's why he jumps overboard at the first sign of difficulty. His appointment was a sure sign that Newcastle United is run on The Legend Delusion.

By that, I mean the mentality that encourages the club, supporters and media to jettison all common sense and put all their geordie eggs in one legendary basket.

Without The Legend Delusion, Newcastle might just have been able to appoint a grownup manager. And with the squad he'd have had to work with, that could have been all they needed. Newcastle United don't need a club legend in charge - in fact, they need not to have one.

Again, it seems unlikely the fans will allow that to happen, and they just don't understand that their obsession with the next so-called messiah is damaging their club.

Poppins out!

Media and supporter recommendation of the day? Shearer must stay. What a load of utter shite. The idea that Alan Shearer is somehow the only man who can save the club is such unparalleled nonsense that it can only possibly have originated at Sky.

If Alan Shearer even slightly cares about the club, he'll leave - and I think that he will. The fans, fuelled by years of delusion and media hype, are putting their faith in a man who has no managerial or coaching experience and, if his appearances on Match of the Day are any indication, none of the required attributes. Just because he's a geordie.

Getting out of the Championship is not easy. Newcastle need a clever, experienced man in charge, not some false idol.

Rebuilding

What's absolutely certain, and the only thing upon which I agree with the media today, is that the club needs huge rebuilding. But what on earth makes people think Alan Shearer knows even the first thing about doing so?

Newcastle United's directors need to stop interfering. They need to appoint a manager with promotion experience. He needs to decimate the squad and build one from players on lower wages which can win promotion or be sustainable in failing to do so. They need to put in the kind of effort the fans expect - and that is not, my friends, a unique set of fans. We all "love our football".

And those fans need to take a step back and support Newcastle United. Not protest against the club, not vilify the men in charge, not moan when a good manager is appointed rather than a geordie and not believe their own hype.

Being a local hero is not the be all and end all in football management. The sooner Newcastle United realises that - from Ashley to the fans - the better. For them.

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Photo of the Week #2

Photo says it all. Villa fans taunt Newcastle after the Geordie Messiah, Alan Shearer, took them into the Championship.

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Jackson fires Gillingham into League One

Exeter City and Wycombe Wanderers followed Brentford into League One on the last day of the season, and this afternoon's play-off final at Wembley offered Shrewsbury Town and Gillingham the chance to join them.

The opening was one of ebb and flow, with both sides enjoying decent possession but failing to achieve efforts on goal. Gillingham settled down first, and in the 14th minute John Nutter tested the Shrews defence after a probing move.

And the Gills quickly began to dominate. While Shrewsbury repeatedly gave the ball away, Mark Stimson's side played some excellent passing football through the middle of the first half. Charlton loanee Josh Wright had their first real chance in the 23rd minute, firing over from the edge of the penalty area when he should have hit the target.

Gillingham goalkeeper Simon Royce had nothing to do but look on as his colleagues made all the attacking moves, winning a succession of corners in a 31st minute passage of play from which they were twice unlucky not to score.

As their neat football continued to slice open the Shrewsbury midfield, Gillingham would have started thinking they needed to make all their pressure tell. In the 40th minute, Simeon Jackson turned and shot from the edge of the area but he snatched at it slightly and fired yards wide.

In stoppage time, it was Wright who tested Luke Daniels with a beautifully measured low volley from ten yards. But Gillingham reached half time vibrant but frustrated, and Paul Simpson's Shrewsbury will have been relieved to have kept them goalless after a thoroughly one-sided half.

Daniels' goalkeeping heroics continued as Gills controlled the early exchanges of the second half. But Town midfielder Ben Davies thumped a volley towards goal to force Simon Royce into his first meaningful save in the middle of a flurry of bookings which saw Curtis Weston (Gillingham), Graham Coughlan and Paul Murray (both Shrewsbury) cautioned.

Despite being much improved, Shrewsbury couldn't dominate the first fifteen minutes of the second half. They had the better of the play but always looked vulnerable when Gillingham went forward, more on the break than the kind of relentless pressure we saw from them before the interval.

Kevin McIntyre should have put Shrewsbury ahead in the 65th minute, but headed wide from inside the six yard box. It was a golden opportunity and one which might have changed the course of the match.

In the 73rd, Davies was played through on goal but seemed to get the ball caught under his feet before falling over in the penalty area under excellent defensive pressure. Royce dealt comfortably with the resulting corner.

With ten minutes remaining the game was too close to call. Both sides were capable of creating half chances, but there was nothing clear-cut and they were fairly evenly matched. The possibility of extra time started to take on an air of inevitability.

But Simeon Jackson wasn't having any of it. With just 20 seconds left on the clock, he pulled away from his marker from a corner and placed a wonderful header into the top corner of the frame of the goal. Despite attempts to clear, the ball comfortably crossed the line to send Gillingham back into the third tier at the first time of asking.

Congratulations to Mark Stimson and his players on a job well done. Over the 90 minutes, they deserved their victory and they'll be looking forward to making the step up in August.

The sad twist for Shrewsbury is that the winning corner should have been their goal kick. But that's football, unfortunately. The top half of League Two is very competitive, so if they start well next season Shrewsbury will be in with a shout again next term.

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Fulham and Stoke: teams of the year

When we look at the final Premier League table on Sunday evening, there will be a few surprises.

Newcastle United will be the one that stands out, regardless of their eventual fate. Not for the reasons some would have you believe, but because they've spent a huge amount in the last decade, and because a few people got a little carried away when Mike Ashley bought the club. Personally, I'm a little surprised at the extent of Middlesbrough's ineptitude.

The top was predictable enough. Manchester United win the title? Check. Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal make up the top four? Check. Everton and Aston Villa just behind? Check.

Fulham in seventh? Ch...wait, Fulham!?

If last season's 17th-placed finish was an achievement for Roy Hodgson - and it was - then seventh is simply superb. Hodgson's appointment dragged the Cottagers to safety, albeit only on goal difference. I think it was safe to predict a stronger showing this term, but Fulham are currently on the brink of the Europa League. That is impressive.

While there may have been some fans who retained a sneaking suspicion that Fulham could face another relegation fight, most are likely to have written Stoke City off before the season even began.

Currently in 11th place, City have shocked the Premier League - but in hindsight, perhaps we shouldn't be surprised. Tony Pulis is an excellent manager and has superbly guided Stoke to safety this year.

Stoke play to their strengths. Theirs is a game brimming with passion and bite, but Pulis has also been astute in the transfer market. The signing of James Beattie was a stroke of genius, and supplemented by the acquisition of a fine wide midfielder in Matthew Etherington.

Add in a well-drilled defence and a not-so-secret weapon in Rory Delap, and it's hard to begrudge Stoke their final league position, whatever it ends up being.

Of course, Stoke's success begins and ends at home, more or less. But a few vital away draws were vital in the Potters securing safety. I went to the Villa game at the Britannia this season - the stadium's first Premier League match - and the atmosphere was remarkable. I certainly wouldn't fancy playing there.

So, in these times of predictability, I think it's great that two top flight clubs have put their faith in unfashionable but very bright managers and succeeded as a result. Top stuff.

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Fantasy Football Fight #2: Gazza v Maradona

Let's begin with the last FFF result: little thug Joey Barton beat big thug Chris Morgan with a surprising 64% of the vote. Not bad going.

This week, it's the battle of the unhinged. Both contenders were football geniuses, both have fought valiantly against ever-growing luuuurve handles, and both are true twofootedtackle favourites.

Please vote in the poll below, and feel free to send in your ideas for fictional fisticuffs - for example, Karren Brady v Michael Myers.

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twofootedtackle Player of the Year

Enough talk, let's get voting. Following Ryan Giggs and Steven Gerrard picking up the real world awards, here's your chance to have a say on which player we select as the twofootedtackle Player of the Year.

Over on the left you'll find the poll (the top 10 from my nominations drive) which will be used to decide who gets this questionable almighty honour. I'll leave this to run until after the Champions League final.

Rock and roll!

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twofootedtackle podcast Episode 9

Sunny day, sweeping the...clouds away...

This week's twofootedtackle podcast is brought to you by the number 11, the letters G and C, and the words 'tit', 'arse' and 'Barry'.

That's right, it's podcast time again - and what an exciting show we have for you this week. Gary and I were joined in the studio by Liverpool fan Kate Clarke, so it's unusually heavy on the Premier League side of things.

Between the three of us, we construct the twofootedtackle Premier League Team of the Year, which may feature a few surprises, and shoot the breeze on Manchester United's 18th title, Liverpool falling short, Gareth Barry, Torquay United, Major League Soccer and the possibility of squad capping.

We also have a cracking interview with Fulham striker Bobby Zamora, so that's well worth a listen.

The debate section returns next week when we're joined by a returning friend. Until then, you can listen to Episode 9 by searching for twofootedpodcast on iTunes, or clicking straight through to the MP3 here.

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Video of the Week #2

I generally find this stuff a little bit pointless, but this guy always keeps my attention. It's Billy Wingrove, arguably the UK's leading football freestyler - and he's got TEH SKILLZ! He did some stuff at Villa Park recently, and even us miserable bastards enjoyed it.

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Weekend Roundup

It was the weekend in which the biggest prize in English football was signed, sealed and delivered. And yet it was all a bit of an anti-climax. Here's what went down.

Premier League

The top story of the weekend was Manchester United lifting the Premier League title after a goalless draw with Arsenal. Everton beat West Ham United 3-1 to go fifth, while Aston Villa's 1-1 draw at Middlesbrough effectively relegated Gareth Southgate's side.

West Bromwich Albion were relegated, defeated 2-0 at home by Liverpool. But Newcastle United and Hull City are still in huge trouble - Newcastle lost at home to Fulham, while Hull drew at Bolton Wanderers. A win for Sunderland over Portsmouth this evening would see them safe for another season.

Stoke City beat Wigan Athletic to leapfrog them into 11th, a magnificent achievement for a well-managed club. Tottenham Hotspur hosted Manchester City and won 2-1, keeping them in contention for a European spot. Finally, Chelsea beat Blackburn Rovers 2-0 at Stamford Bridge.

Playoffs

On Monday and Tuesday, Sheffield United beat Preston North End and Burnley won at Reading. Congratulations to United and Burnley, who will face off in the Championship final a week today.

In League One, a draw for Millwall at Leeds United was enough to see them through to Sunday's final at Wembley. And, in a marvellous victory for football, Scunthorpe United's win on penalties ensured that MK Dons will not be promoted. Well done Scunthorpe, we're all behind you on Sunday.

On Saturday, Gillingham play Shrewsbury in the League Two final - but we already knew that. What we didn't know was that the losing side will play Torquay United next season, after their victory over Cambridge in the Conference Premier final. Well done to them.

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Photo of the Week #1

This hideous abomination is the new Bolton Wanderers home shirt. It's creative, I'll give them that!

(Photo: Medocmall.co.uk)

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Union lead the way in supporter management?

Here at twofootedtackle we often discuss the merits and otherwise of all-seater football stadia, and tend to sway towards the conclusion that they're at best symptomatic of - and at worst responsible for - the plasticisation of the beautiful game.

We thrash out possible solutions and compromises, from Bundesliga-style safe standing to a return to terracing in small areas of our grounds.

One way of attempting to rediscover the football atmosphere is the so-called singing section, an area of the stadium designated as the place where the noisy fans congregate to create an atmosphere which isn't possible when their season tickets are dispersed around their often new all-seater facility.

In England, we've seen a couple of different types of singing section. At the Riverside, Middlesbrough Football Club created a section for their louder fans, an initiative which hilariously backfired when the fans were asked if they wouldn't mind awfully being f*cking quiet.

At the Emirates, Arsenal supporters took matters into their own hands and attempted to establish their own singing section. And although the stadium is notoriously quiet, there is definitely a distinct section which makes a valiant effort to return the Arsenal atmosphere to that of bygone days.

Of course, we're dealing with fully-fledged clubs in England and that creates complications based on traditional, fear of change and a natural skepticism of any form of "imposed" atmosphere.

But in the United States, clubs are popping up as Major League Soccer develops - these clubs have no supporter culture (though the club mentioned in this post had supporters before it existed), no long-entrenched ideas, and they are emerging into a nation of semi-official supporters groups (SGs).

These guys are almost like Ultras Lite, a watered-down version of world football's multitude of barrabrava factions. They take it upon themselves to whip up the atmosphere and - to my mind - are one of the best things about MLS.

My friend Zach Woosley recently posted in support of a decision made by Nick Sakiewicz, the CEO of Major League Soccer's newest franchise, Philadelphia Union.

In a nutshell, Zach believes that Union have adhered to two golden rules of creating a supporters section: first, the Sons of Ben (Union's SG) have been given one end of the stadium and their own stadium entrance. Second, that section has been identified publicly, and fully explained on the Union website.

The Sons of Ben will have their own 2,000 seat section which will be under their control and will only be open to registered members of the Philly SG - or it would be, if it hadn't sold out.

I think there's another crucial factor: the SoB end is the cheapest section of the stadium, and is frankly bargainous at $275.

Now clearly this isn't quite right for English football, but I believe the underlying rationale remains valid on this side of the pond. Many grounds here have areas which could serve as SG sections, and could be priced lower than the rest of the ground to attract...you know...noisy folk.

I'm going to use Villa Park as an example, because it's the ground I know best. Randy Lerner and his team moved the away support out of the North Stand Lower and made season tickets in the section cheap. Thing is, it's a shitty place to sit and it's at exactly the wrong end of the stadium.

If I were to introduce a rowdy-with-permission section, it would be the Holte End Lower - the same section, incidentally, where I would choose to install safe standing. I'd make it cheap, I'd create a requirement to be a member of a Holte End scheme, and I'd lobby local councils to be more lenient with supporters standing.

But, as I've mentioned, this is a different football culture and such an area would never take off. Maybe it's time for supporters groups to form outside the official remit of the clubs and take on the role of the non-hooligan ultras: flags, banners, bog roll, streamers and loads - and loads - of noise.

That will never happen, and I think it's a shame. The Holte End will never be the same again.

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Heavy metal + football = Metallsvenskan!

I have three loves in life. Mrs twofootedtackle, of course, is in a league of her own - but the other two are football and heavy metal, so imagine my joy when I found out about Metallsvenskan, (allegedly) the first ever heavy metal football tournament.

These days I get most of my metal news from my Blabbermouth feed, and it was this which fed me news of Metallsveskan, which took place in the Berhn Arena in Örebro, Sweden, on 9th May.

A bunch of musicians and rock journalists got together to play the tournament, which was won by Örebro United (featuring musicians from such notable acts as Path Of No Return, Witchcraft, 2 Ton Predator and Millencollin, who are about as 'metal' as Brotherhood Of Man).

Sadly, this wasn't quite right up my street - a lot of the Scandinavian bands aren't really my cup of metal tea. But it's good to see fat, hairy beer monsters kicking a ball around. Makes me feel better when I do the same.

More than 3,000 fans showed up to watch the proceedings, and Swedish metal photographer Daniel Falk has posted an impressive 300 photos of the tournament - the first of an annual series, it seems - to Flickr. Credit for the photo above goes to Daniel Falk and Flickr.

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Foul Play: The Seven Deadly Sins of Football

Just wanted to tell you guys about what is sure to be a cracking series of football supplements from The Guardian and The Observer which will cause me to buy the papers for a whole week.*

Starting tomorrow, and running for seven days, Foul Play: The Seven Deadly Sins of Football will be issued daily and see award-winning journos tackle football's sins. Personally, I'm fond of gluttony - but I don't think I'm featured.

So, for your footballing fix of sinful misdemeanours, your newsagent is your friend.

* I work in a PR agency, so you can probably work out whether I'm actually going to buy the newspapers.

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Fantasy Football Fight #1: Morgan v Barton

Excuse all the new features - I'm trying to keep myself occupied during the summer. So, here's the first twofootedtackle Fantasy Football Fight.

Every Thursday, my twisted brain will pit two footballers against one another in a fantasy street fight and ask you, the twofootedtackle readers, to decide who would win. You'll find the two contenders below, please vote in the poll.

Suggestions for fictional fisticuffs more than welcome - just try to keep them evenly matched (not that this one is).

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Player of the Year 08/09: Nominations

The players got their decision wrong by handing Ryan Giggs the PFA Player of the Year Award, but the football writers were closer to the mark in voting Steven Gerrard their Player of the Year.

But out here in the blogosphere there are dissenting voices, so I've decided to chuck my hat into the ring and run a quick and dirty poll to crown the twofootedtackle Player of the Year 08/09.

But first, I need nominations. I've had a few already on Twitter and will be welcoming more for the next few days. I hope to announce the top ten on next week's podcast and then kick off the poll, which will be open to all. That's right, the fans get a vote!

So get your nominations into me - in the comments, on Twitter or our Facebook page - and we'll show the football authorities what for.

Also, I don't often ask you to pimp out my sh*t, but if you could spread the word - just a little - it'll make this award all the more worthwhile. Cheers.

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Shooting Fish: The first casualty of the close season

Today, in London, a small part of football died after Conference South club Fisher Athletic were finally put out of their misery, wound up after a season of financial struggles.

You might remember The Fish from earlier this season when Donna Powell became the first female manager to take charge of a team in the English footballing pyramid after raising £250 to be the boss for one game.

But while Powell's game in charge was widely derided as a publicity stunt, that small sum was needed. For Fisher, every penny counted as they tried to make inroads into the £250,000 debt, most of which was owed to the taxman.

Things were so bad that the Fish weren't expected to last the season. Their final game of the season against Hayes & Yeading was brought forward by a week as it was feared they would go bust before the end of the season.

The club, which isn't far from Millwall, has been homeless for five years, waiting on redevelopment at their traditional home in Surrey Docks. During this season they've been groundsharing with Dulwich Hamlet.

In a sign of how quickly fortunes of a club can turn around, this time last season Fisher were two games away from the Conference after finishing fourth before losing to Hampton & Richmond Borough in the playoffs. Many of that squad now play in the football league.

This season, facing financial meltdown, and shedding players like they were going out of fashion, the Fish finished bottom of the Blue Square South.

It's a sorry end for the South Londoners, who celebrated 100 years last year. John Bumstead, Sean Devine, and Lee Bowyer have all pulled on the black and white stripes for the club. They've even reached the FA Cup first round twice, losing to Bristol City and Bristol Rovers respectively.

Now this history and memories are all that's left of a club who've been a fixture in London for over a century. Fisher may reform at the bottom of the pyramid or they may became another name on the list of teams who no longer exist.

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twofootedtackle podcast Episode 8

Ahoy hoy, twofootedtackle fans. Sorry for the tardiness, which has now come to an end.

Episode 8 is now available on iTunes. Just search for twofootedpodcast.

You can also click straight through to the MP3 here.

Gary and I were joined this week by The Guardian's Will Dean, and we discussed the Premier League, Major League Soccer, Manchester City, the Champions League, the UEFA Cup, Football League playoffs, the FA Vase and FA Trophy, and a few other bits. Yes, it's a lot.

In the debate, we fought toe to toe over whether FIFA's 6+5 proposal would be good for English football, and we'd love it, love it! if you'd vote in the poll over on the left. Spotted it? Good.

Thanks to Will for coming in and, as always, to Gary for hosting. Please tell your friends, join the Facebook page, follow me on Twitter and leave your comments. That's how this thing works.

Have a blinding week.

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Video of the Week #1

Okay so I know I'm waaaay late on this one, but it had me in stitches, so it's only fair to share it with you as the first Video of the Week.

If you spot a video for this series (or for Photo of the Week), please get in touch!

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Weekend Roundup

Ladies and gentleman, allow me to present your weekly roundup of English football action.

Premier League

Manchester United took a big step towards the title by beating rivals Manchester City 2-0 yesterday, with goals from Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez. Ronaldo wasn't too pleased to be substituted, but it looks like a storm in a teacup. On Saturday evening, Liverpool went top with a 3-0 win over West Ham at Upton Park.

At the bottom, Blackburn Rovers and Stoke City made themselves safe (Stoke mathematically) by beating Portsmouth and Hull City respectively. The defeat puts Hull in huge trouble at the bottom, and they were praying for a draw between Newcastle United and Middlesbrough this evening, but Newcastle unfortunately triumphed.

West Bromwich Albion kept their hopes of a great escape alive by beating Wigan Athletic 3-1, while dreary Sunderland drew with Bolton Wanderers at the Reebok.

Elsewhere, Everton drew with Tottenham Hotspur, Fulham defeated Aston Villa and Chelsea thrashed Arsenal 4-1 at the Emirates. That should seal the final positions for third and fourth.

Playoffs

In the Championship, Friday saw Sheffield United go to Preston North End and grab a 1-1 draw. The second leg was this evening, and a 1-0 win sent United through. Burnley take a 1-0 lead to Reading on Tuesday after an eventful first leg on Saturday.

Also on Friday, Scunthorpe United drew 1-1 at home to MK Dons in the League One semi-finals. Millwall beat Leeds United 1-0 on an unpleasant afternoon in London on Saturday. The return leg is on Thursday, while Scunthorpe and MK Dons play on Friday.

The League Two final will be played between Gillingham and Shrewsbury Town. Bury won away at Shrewsbury in the first leg, but a late winner for the Shrews at Gigg Lane took the game to extra time and penalties, which Shrewsbury won 4-3. Gillingham knocked out Rochdale after a goalless draw and a 2-1 home win.

As we know, Cambridge United face Torquay United on Sunday for a place in League Two through promotion from the Conference, which next season will include Hayes & Yeading and Gateshead after they won their playoff finals.

Cup Finals

Congratulations to Whitley Bay, winners of the FA Vase thanks to a win over Glossop North End, and Stevenage, who defeated York City 2-0 to win the FA Trophy this weekend.

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The Pies "The Best Player in the World" World Cup

Bad twofootedtackle. I promised Ollie Irish at Who Ate All The Pies that I'd mention this over the weekend, and in my post-Fulham depression I clean forgot.

Anyway, Pies is running a World Cup style competition to find out once and for all who is the best player in the world. The groups were drawn last week, and the players will go head to head in ballots to decide who progresses.

Voting begins shortly - this looks like it could be a good laugh, so pop over and have your say.

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Serie A: AC Milan v Juventus LIVE

Join me at 7.30pm UK time today as I liveblog Juve's trip to San Siro.

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Serie A: Lazio 1-3 Udinese

The Serie A title race is over and the only question remaining at the top end is whether Genoa can pip Fiorentina to the final Champions League spot. Below the next group, the Europa League hopefuls, are Udinese and Lazio.

Realistically, both are just waiting for the season to end - at least in the league - so, in typically contrary style, I tuned in as Pasquale Marino's side travelled to Rome to face the Biancocelesti this evening.

Udinese shaded a goalless first half, but Lazio created chances from their relatively sparse attacks. The game caught fire in 13 blistering second half minutes and became a real spectacle.

Both sides had chances in the first four minutes. Simone Pepe's long distance free kick was comfortably fielded by Lazio goalkeeper Fernando Muslera, and Tommaso Rocchi pounced on a defensive error but lacked the composure to make Udinese pay.

The Bianconeri started brightly, restricting Lazio to counter-attacks in the early exchanges, but could not breach the opposing defence. Fabio Quagliarella was unfortunate to drag his shot wide for Udinese in the 19th minute.

On the half hour, a canny piece of defending by Lazio's Lorenzo De Silvestri saw him drag Alexis Sánchez to the ground in the penalty area before the ball was played over to him. Udinese were justified in claiming a penalty, but there's no way the referee could have seen the off the ball incident.

Chances were few and far between, but Lazio began to put the pressure on in the last five minutes of the half. They narrowly missed out when Rocchi was unable to capitalise on a goalmouth scramble and another error. Not long afterwards, Mauricio Isla hit a great shot on the turn which squeezed past Muslera's post at the other end.

The low tempo continued in the second half, and the first action of note was a free kick from the brilliant Argentine Mauro Zarate which was deflected wide by the Udinese wall in the 50th minute.

On 56 minutes it was Zarate who set up skipper Tommasi Rocchi to turn on the edge of the box and thrash the ball into Samir Handanovic's top left hand corner. 1-0 Lazio.

Quagliarella turned superbly just minutes later to open up a shot for the equaliser, but it was blocked well by former Manchester City player Ousmane Dabo. And in the 60th minute, Udinese were level.

A long diagonal ball was picked up by Giovanni Pasquale and laid back to Antonio Floro Flores. The substitute had only been brought on in the aftermath of the Lazio goal, but drilled a wonderful low shot past Muslera from 20 yards.

Lazio reacted well to their setback, with Zarate and Stefan Radu firing over in quick succession as the pace quickened and the opportunities became easier to come by. Zarate forced a nice save from Handanovic with a drilled shot from 25 yards, and the Slovenian parried it away well.

But it was Udinese who took the lead in the 69th minute. After Matuzalem brought down Kwadwo Asamoah 25 yards from goal, Gaetano D'Agostino swung a stunning, snorting left-footed free kick over the wall and in off the post. Muslera was rooted to the spot, and there's not a goalkeeper on the planet who'd have got near it.

Despite Lazio requiring a goal, the Bianconeri began to control the attacking play. And D'Agostino hit another stinging shot with 14 minutes to go which Muslera did well to palm away from his goal. Pepe should have won it in the 80th minute but Sebastiano Siviglia did well to head his chip off the line after it deflected off the goalkeeper.

With six minutes to play, Floro Flores tumbled in the penalty area and Siviglia was yellow carded for the offence. From the spot, Fabio Quagliarella made no mistake - despite a bizarrely timed substitution by his manager. 3-1 to Udinese, and no more than their second half performance deserved.

To make matters worse for the Biancocelesti, Cristian Brocchi was booked either side of Quagliarella's spot kick for a pair of petulant moments which will no doubt have left coach Delio Rossi not best pleased. With a two goal deficit and ten men on the field, Lazio didn't have a hope. There was even time for Quagliarella to hit the crossbar before 90 minutes was up.

Udinese will be delighted with a hard fought win and D'Agostino's phenomenal free kick, and Rossi's Lazio will now look ahead to Wednesday's Coppa Italia final against Sampdoria.

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Premier League relegation battle: the key games

Manchester United should see off Liverpool in the title race, while the two northwest teams will be joined by Arsenal and Chelsea in next season's Champions League. Aston Villa are in the Europa League and will likely be joined by Everton (that's if they haven't qualified already).

So the real excitement at the end of the Premier League season is, as always, at the bottom. Relegation from the top flight is a huge blow for clubs these days, though some do bounce back. Birmingham City have become the yo-yo club of our time, and the precarious position of West Bromwich Albion suggests we may have another on our hands.

With just three games to play, even the Baggies haven't yet been condemned (but they will be). Above them, Newcastle United and Middlesbrough are in serious trouble and only have a hope of survival because of the slide of Hull City and the recent ineptitude of Sunderland. Blackburn Rovers, in my view, are all but safe. They may be no great shakes, but the teams below are poor enough to save them.

The outcome of the battle's remainder will depend on six huge games - three on the last day. Here they are:

Hull City v Stoke City

Tomorrow, Hull have a golden chance to really boost their prospects. With Stoke now safe, more or less, the Tigers might just have a little more fight about them. On Monday night at Villa Park, they showed great spirit despite a half time bust-up. Stoke's away form is nowhere near as good as their magnificent home form. In short, if Hull are going to win again this season, this is their opportunity.

Newcastle United v Middlesbrough

This one's on Monday night, and I believe one or both will effectively be relegated by the result - particularly if Hull beat Stoke. The loser of this match will go down, and if the points are split then they're both staring down the barrel. Home advantage can count for a lot against Boro, but a slow start for Newcastle could see those wonderful fans get on the team's backs.

The Last Day

Although a victory for Sunderland against Bolton Wanderers or Portsmouth should keep them up, the last day is going to be massive. Newcastle and Middlesbrough face tough away trips, to Aston Villa and West Ham respectively. If wins are needed, I fancy Newcastle to beat Villa and Middlesbrough to drop. Sunderland and Hull need to escape before the final day, when they host Chelsea and Manchester United.

With all that in mind, I think football will get its wish and see Newcastle United relegated along with Middlesbrough and West Brom. Despite the appalling form of Hull and Sunderland, the teams in possession of the three spots below the dreaded dotted line are so brilliantly abysmal that I can't see them outscoring those above.

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twofootedtackle podcast 8 preview

The eagle-eyed regular readers may have noticed last week that there was no podcast preview. We can only apologise for leaving you all fretting right up to the day the podcast was released on just what we'd be covering? Would the FA Vase get a mention? How about the League of Wales? And had we included an extra dimension to the pie debate that you couldn't prepare a witty response to because we just didn't tell you?

So, yes, sorry about that. Bank Holiday weekends do that to a blogger. In my defence, I was busy on the Friday, in Sheffield on the Saturday then recovering from a hangover the next day sparked by the mother of all celebrations on Saturday night. It's different this week - I'm sober.

This means, as part of our apology, that we'll be letting you know what delights you can expect on Wednesday. Well, for a start we'll be reviewing the Champions League action and chatting about the amazing scenes at Stamford Bridge. Vote now if you think there'll be sympathy on the pod.

There's also the UEFA Cup to look at. Catch any of the Hamburg v Bremen game? No? You missed out. Then there's the small matter of the football league playoffs, the MLS and a very big weekend in the Premier League with big games up top and down below.

Appropriately enough, given that United and City play at the weekend, our guest is Manchester City fanatic Will Dean from the Guardian, who lists his special skills as 'being good with trains and jumping'. He's also a genuine Mancunian, thereby fulfilling our regional quotas for this month.

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How to define Chelsea with one GIF

No class. No discipline. No respect. No style.

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Keep United in DC

Despite the steady consolidation of Major League Soccer, the United States of America's flagship football league has its problems. The youth structure does not naturally lend itself to superstar production, for example. And the refereeing isn't too great (but it's still better than the shit we have to tolerate).

Some other issues that have dogged MLS are the location of stadiums, whether they're full and whether it's worth the effort. Franchises have been moved, and probably will be again. FC Dallas (and I'm sorry to keep banging on about them) suffer from low attendances, partly due to Pizza Hut Park's inconvenient location, and could face a move in the future.

But one club with strong support and a decent fledgling history is all but on the brink, and on Saturday supporters of DC United will march in support of the area finding a new home for the club, which recently faced a setback when MLS commissioner Don Garber's indication that he would be willing to move the franchise if necessary was quickly followed by the refusal of local officials in Prince George's County to even consider a debate on the matter.

One of United's leading supporters groups, La Barra Brava, is leading the Keep United in DC march this Saturday for the game against Toronto FC at the club's unsustainable home, RFK Stadium.

The march is not a negative protest against local officials, Garber, Major League Soccer or anybody else - it's simply a show of support for the motion, and it's one that should be shared by supporters of other clubs. That's because it's time for MLS supporters to gain a unified voice, and it was a proposal made by Match Fit USA's Jason Davis.

So come Saturday, fans of DCU, Toronto and - hopefully - other clubs in MLS will come together to show the nation that football supporters are ready to stand up and be counted.

Good luck on Saturday if you're marching. Keep United in DC.

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twofootedtackle podcast Episode 7

Boom boom boom, lemme hear you say Wednesday...! No? Fair enough, let's get down to business. It's time for the seventh episode of the twofootedtackle football podcast.

This week in Studio 31, Gary and I were joined by Graham Sibley from The Onion Bag and Some People Are On The Pitch. If they sound familiar, that's because they should - Graham completed our SPAOTP hat-trick, following in the footsteps of Terry Duffelen and Chris Oakley.

What with Graham being an Arsenal fan, we covered their position in the Premier League and the ladies' team's FA Cup success. We also discussed the Premier League relegation battle, the Champions League, Exeter City, promotion and relegation in the Football League, Major League Soccer and the future of DC United.

twofootedtackle podcast Episode 7 is now available on iTunes. Just search for twofootedpodcast.

Alternatively, you'll find the MP3 directly by clicking here.

In our debate this week, Gary and myself had it out over the decision of Serie A to break away from the rest of the Italian league system. After last week's narrow defeat, I wasn't best pleased to be arguing in favour of this week's motion but I gave it a go. Please, please vote below - and you can join in the debate on Facebook.

The blog posts we discussed this week came from The Chelsea Blog and The Offside.

If you like the blog or the show, come and join us on Facebook. I'll be adding some topics this afternoon, so come and have a chat. And tell your friends too!

Have a week.

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Premier League refereeing

I'm sick and bloody tired of the refereeing in the Premier League, and I'm beginning to wonder how long we're going to sit back and let these overpaid, incompetent, spineless bastards take the piss out of us.

The object of my immediate ire is Mike Dean and his appalling performance at Villa Park yesterday, during which he missed a two-footed tackle, several dives (mostly Hull, but also Ashley Young), wrongly over-ruled his assitants twice and generally gave every decision the wrong way. And Hull have as much to complain about as Villa do.

The list of referees is absolutely shameful: Mike Riley, Mike Dean, Steve Tanner, Lee Mason, Howard Webb, Andre Marriner, Martin Atkinson, Howard Webb, Stuart Attwell, Steve Bennett, Mark Halsey, Rob Styles, Michael Jones, Chris Foy, Phil Dowd, Alan Wiley, Keith Stroud, Lee Probert, Peter Walton.

How many of those are memorable for positive reasons? I know that the good referees are the ones you don't notice, but this shower of reprobates is prone to consistent bias, starf*cking, cowardice, blindness and idiocy.

Sort it out.

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Weekend roundup

Football died again this weekend thanks to Reading's inability to win at home, and my internet has been down since Saturday afternoon. To top it off, right now there is a dildo-peddling werewolf mincing around his house in Surrey bragging about promotion. Nevertheless, here's the weekly roundup of English football.

Premier League

It was business as usual in the top flight, with the top four all winning. Manchester United beat Middlesbrough 2-0 at the Riverside and a clinical display from Didier Drogba and Nic Anelka gave Chelsea a 3-1 win over local rivals Fulham. Arsenal somewhat fortunately won 3-0 at Portsmouth, and Liverpool hammered Newcastle United by the same score.

Those results, of course, leave Boro and Newcastle in the brown stuff. And to make matters better worse for Mary Poppins, Joey Barton was dismissed for a tackle of Xabi Alonso which would send him back to prison if he'd done it in the street. West Bromwich Albion continue to prop them up after defeat at Spurs.

Manchester City ensured Blackburn stay in the relegation battle by handing out a 3-1 beating. West Ham did the same for Stoke, winning 1-0 at the Britannia, which is no mean feat. Sunderland are still in trouble after defeat by Everton, whose win takes them past Villa into fifth. Villa and Hull play tonight. In the middle, Wigan and Bolton played out a goalless draw.

Championship

A result at Reading which I won't go into led to a team being promoted automatically which I don't want to talk about. Thanks for nowt, Reading. As a result, Reading join Sheffield United - who could only draw with Crystal Palace - in the playoffs. They're joined by Burnley, who won 4-0 against Bristol City, and Preston North End, who snuck into the final spot thanks to a 2-1 win over QPR.

But it was heartbreak for Cardiff, who lost to Sheffield Wednesday and missed out on the playoffs by just one goal. To make it worse, their goal difference was hammered and Preston's improved by a 6-0 reverse when the two teams last clashed.

Heartbreak too for Norwich City, relegated to League One after a 4-2 loss at Charlton. They join Athletic and Southampton - defeated by Forest - in the drop zone. At any rate, Barnsley won away at Plymouth so Norwich were down regardless.

League One

The League One promotion picture was already largely settled before the weekend. Leicester and Peterborough are up, and MK Dons, Millwall and Leeds were already in the playoffs.

But those sides helped shape the relegation outcome. Millwall lost 2-0 to Carlisle, who escaped the drop thanks to Leicester's 3-0 win at Crewe (already relegated to all intents and purposes) and Leeds' similar victory over Northampton, who make up the fourth spot.

The only battle at the top was between Scunthorpe and Tranmere for the final playoff spot, and they played each other for the privilege. As it turned out, a draw was enough to see Scunthorpe enter the playoffs with a chance to do football a massive favour.

What's the difference between Scunthorpe and the other playoff clubs? Scunthorpe only has one c***.

League Two

An exciting climax in the fourth division saw Exeter City and Wycombe Wanderers promoted with champions Brentford. Bury secured a late win over Accrington Stanley, but it wasn't enough. Exeter defeated Rotherham in Sheffield, and Wycombe are promoted despite a home defeat by Notts County.

Chester City and Luton Town had already been relegated, and both added another defeat. Chester lost at home to Darlington and Luton away at Brentford. For the record, Bournemouth finished an impressive nine points clear of the relegation zone after winning 4-0 at Morecambe. Rotherham finished a staggering 21 points clear. Both, of course, started on -17.

Non-League

In the Conference, it's already playoff time. On Thursday, ten-man Stevenage (who finished fifth) took the advantage against Cambridge (second) in their playoff first leg at home. Torquay beat Histon 2-0 at home on Friday, and both second legs are played today.

In the Conference North, AFC Telford will meet Gateshead in the playoff final. Gateshead beat Southport 1-0 on Wednesday and drew 1-1 on Sunday. Telford beat Alfreton 2-0 on Wednesday and made the final despite a 4-3 defeat to Town on Sunday.

In the South, Hampton & Richmond's 3-1 first leg win over Chelmsford was enough to see them through despite a goalless second leg. They'll play Hayes & Yeading in the final after they staged an heroic turnaround in their tie against Eastleigh. Defeated 4-2 at home in the first leg, H&Y; battered Eastleigh 4-0 away in the second.

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Serie A files for divorce

Serie A is set to follow in the footsteps of the Premier League and break away from Serie B. At a meeting of team presidents, 19 of Serie A's 20 clubs voted in favour of the new league. The split's focus is the failure of Serie A and Serie B to agree on distribution of wealth. What a shock.

The proposal was opposed only by Lecce, whose vote was probably more down to their own league position (they'll probably be getting relegated) than any sense of responsibility for Italian football as a whole.

As Il Mondo di Calcio and Some People Are On The Pitch have already noted, this is a move designed to strengthen Italian clubs in continental competition and is, like the violent itch on my inner thigh, a little rash.

I believe European dominance by England, Spain and Italy is largely cyclical. Italy's dominated before, and Spain more recently. Right now, England is pissing all over both. In theory that will change, but Serie A isn't going to take that risk. In that sense, they're right. But I really don't approve of jettisoning a country's football culture just to compete with the big boys.

Inter, Juventus and Milan will always be competitive on the European stage and this smacks of impatience. The other clubs are just after the increased revenue. Well, they say football is a universal language - money is the verbs.

On goalpostr, our Gary argued that this isn't a very good idea, and here's why:

"There are enough Italian clubs with financial problems without having the big clubs take a greater cut of the cake. The Premier League can be a great league - it's certainly exciting to watch - but it's not necessarily good for football in this country. The Bundesliga is a much better blueprint."

And that's the key point. What about football? What about the leagues below? What about the kids kicking a ball on the streets? We're losing our game.

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